Sunday, November 13
Temperature: 82
Humidity: 68%
Precipitation: Maaaybe
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‘Octo-berfest’ Will Mark The End Of Blacktip Island’s Hurricane Season
Caribbean octopi will be the focus of Blacktip Island’s inaugural Octo-berfest, celebrating the end of this year’s hurricane season. (photo courtesy of damn_unique)
Blacktip Island locals and guests will celebrate the end of the 2022 hurricane season this weekend with the inaugural ‘Octo-berfest,’ an octopus-themed variation on traditional German fall festivals, at various sites across the small Caribbean island, organizers said.
“We got behind on planning our usual Oktoberfest and ran out of October,” festival chair Jay Valve said. “It seemed silly to have Oktoberfest in November, then Vera Cuda hit on the idea of celebrating octopi . . . octopuses . . . whatever . . . instead. They get so little appreciation, it’s about time they were fêted. And we spelled it with a ‘c’ to avoid confusion.
“We’ll have food tents and beer halls and dancing and all the other whatnot you’d expect at traditional Oktoberfest,” Valve said. “We’ll also have a cnidarian costume contest for the kids, an octopus search in the lagoon, and a midnight Cthulhu service for those who observe.”
As with Oktoberfest, the emphasis will be on local food and drink.
“We’ll have the chili cookoff and conch fritters, of course,” Chef Goldie Goby said. “But we’ll also have stalls with fresh-fried calamari and grilled octopus, in keeping with the tentacled theme. We’ll also have candy floss, and will auction off a Honduran rain slicker at the end.
“Bonefish Brew and Assmonkey Ale will be dueling each other for customers, as ever, but there’s also some exciting newcomers,” Goby said. “The monks up at St. Dervil’s will be serving their Iguana Mead, made with the help of the monastery’s rock iguanas. And in a last-minute, surprise entry, the Blacktip Island Literary Society will unveil its new Dickens’ Cider, brewed from local coconuts.”
Organizers stressed the cultural aspects of the fest.
“The focus here will be on local island culture and tradition,” Christina Mojarra said. “We’ll have an oompah band for polka dancing, as well as sing-alongs in German. The find-the-octopus snorkeling event will be at noon, and the evening festivities will kick off with the 1K dogpaddle race across Eagle Ray Cove from the ERC resort to the Sand Spit bar, with the loser buying the other swimmers drinks.”
Parents, meanwhile, scrambled to finish last-minute octopus and squid costumes for their children.
“They announced the festival theme, and costume contest, just last week,” Chrissy Graysby said. “The little ones are so excited, but it doesn’t give us much time to make costumes. There’s not a pool noodle to be found on the island, so many were snapped up for arms. And with eight arms per costume—10 for squid—well, that is a lot of arms to come up with last minute. I repurposed my dirndl as tentacles.”
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Blacktip Island Weather
Sunday, November 13
Temperature: 82
Humidity: 68%
Precipitation: Not anytime soon
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Blacktip Island Weather
Sunday, November 6, 2022
Temperature: 84
Humidity: 73%
Precipitation: Take a rain jacket
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Candidate Shakeup Upends Blacktip Island Mayor’s Race
Blacktip Island’s League of Women Voters has been busy this week drumming up voters for Saturday’s contentious mayoral election. (photo courtesy of Leigh Shore)
Following accusations of intimidation by one mayoral candidate, Blacktip Island’s already hotly-contested mayor’s race saw the three other candidates drop out this week and throw their support behind an unlooked-for dark-horse challenger to incumbent Jack Cobia.
“Jack’s a nasty one to cross,” former candidate Rocky Shore said. “Him talking about the fire department being useless and the police being understaffed aren’t policy points. They’re threats. He’s had folks burned out and beat up before. I’m not gonna stand in those crosshairs.”
Other former candidates echoed that sentiment.
“Jack sitting at the bar with his drunk buddies saying how ‘it’d be a shame if something happened’ to me, that’s purposeful and dangerous,” Christina Mojarra. “It’s the definition of stochastic terrorism. Jack’s responsible for any harm that comes to any of us.”
Cobia refuted the claims.
“I’ve never threatened so much as a fly,” he said. “These are just thin-skinned crybabies who can’t handle politics and the little digs that go along with it. Rocky or Christina get hurt, it’s because folks don’t like them sticking their noses into other folks’ business.”
After discussions with island residents, the former candidates put forward Dermott Bottoms as the person most likely to beat the heavily-favored Cobia.
“We took a straw poll, and Dermott’s name kept popping up,” former candidate Sally Port said. “People like him, and if Jack tries to get rough, Dermott’s big enough, and ornery enough to whip Jack’s butt without half trying.”
Bottoms welcomed the challenge.
“Jack comes after me, I’ll wallop him good,” he said. “Been in office too long, y’know. Too old for it now. Don’t have the people’s interest at heart. Roads are bad. Booby pond stinks. Rafe Marquette writes too many drink-driving tickets. I get elected, all that changes. Then I’m gonna sit at the bar all day and drink beer. More useful than whatever it is Jack does.”
Cobia brushed aside that criticism.
“I’m not too old, but Dermott’s too crazy,” he said. “He’s got no clue what the mayor actually does. There’s lots of things to preside over and whatnot. Big responsibility, keeping this little rock full of crazies from killing each other. A vote for Dermott’s a vote for chaos. And I don’t think he realizes the job doesn’t draw a salary. Or a beer allowance.”
Blacktip Island’s mayoral election will be this Saturday at the small Caribbean island’s Heritage House. The island’s lone police constable will be on hand to prevent any campaign-related violence, electioneering or drinking.
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Blacktip Island Weather
Sunday, October 30, 2022
Temperature: 83
Humidity: 71%
Precipitation: Not today, Satan
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Blacktip Island Players To Stage ‘Gilgamesh’ Underwater Operetta
Alison Diesel, front left, and Jessie Catahoula, front right, and other cast members walk through the ‘Smiting of Humbaba’ scene from the Blacktip Island Community Players’ during an on-land rehearsal for the new underwater operetta, ‘Gilgamesh.” (photo courtesy of Kadumago)
The Blacktip Island Community Players this week announced they will take their audiences back to Second Millennium BCE Sumer with their 2022 fall production, an underwater operetta based on the ancient Sumerian creation myth the ‘Epic of Gilgamesh.’
“We try to stretch ourselves with our fall plays,” BICC creative director Doris Blenny said. “Last year’s underwater ‘Pirates of Penzance,’ with actors in full-face masks and live-streamed to all the bars, was a rousing success, so we decided to do the same thing with ‘Gilgamesh.’ We had to create our own scores and librettos, of course, but that just enhanced the growth opportunity.
“It’s the oldest recorded story in the world, and it has so much in common, in terms of theme and sensibility, with life on Blacktip today’,” Blenny said. “We had input from The Blacktip Island Literary Society as well as local cryptoarcheologists. Coral heads will serve as the city of Uruk, and sea plumes will be Inanna’s huluppu tree. The effect will be otherworldly.”
Actors were excited about the new material.
“Gilgamesh’s really the world’s first buddy film,” Alison Diesel said. “Him and wild-man Enkidu basically travel the world, taking names and kicking ass. They save the goddess’ tree, whack Humbaba the giant, then smite the Bull of Heaven.
“With Inanna being the goddess of love and war, well, it’s something everybody can relate to,” Diesel said. “And to make it even more relevant for today’s viewers, with the city of Uruk being in the mix, we added some Middle Earth uruk-orcs, too.”
Others emphasized the music and casting.
“Payne Hanover and Elena Havens worked night and day to come up with the music and lyrics,” assistant director Helen Maples said. “It may sound reminiscent of their ‘Nudibranchs—The Musical’ score, but time was tight, and the songs take on an added resonance underwater.
“Casting-wise, Dermott Bottoms was the obvious choice for Enkidu the wild man,” Maples said. “And frankly, during rehearsals, we all get a kick out of him going berserk and beating the stuffing out of Lee Helm, playing the Bull of Heaven.”
Other cast members include:
- Cal Batten as Gilgamesh
- Jessie Catahoula as Inanna
- Finn Kiick as Ishtar
- Alison Diesel as Humbaba
- Jerrod Ephesians as the orc chieftain
BICC leaders say audience participation will be encouraged throughout the performance.
“This will be an immersive, collaborative experience for everyone,” Blenny said. “We’ll especially need extra orc soldiers of Uruk when they charge out to confront Humbaba.”
Performances will be Saturday and Sunday afternoons in November. Proceeds from the show will go to the Blacktip Island Cryptoarcheology Society.
All audience members will be required to pass a Breathalyser test prior to entering the water following last year’s unfortunate ‘Tora! Tora! Tora!’ incident during the BICC’s Hannukah play.
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The Blacktip Times 