Monthly Archives: July 2023

Local experts say the boat hull fragments found on top of Blacktip Island’s southern bluff may be a remnant of Noah’s Ark. (photo courtesy of Tadpolefarm)

Hikers atop Blacktip Island’s rugged southern bluff this week discovered pieces of an antiquated boat hull, which local experts say may be part of the Biblical Noah’s Ark.

“We were picking our way through the brush way up on the bluff when we stumbled across ribs of super-old boards held together with wooden pegs,” Catalina Luxfer said. “They were curved, like the side of a boat, but the sea’d have to have damned high for them to get way up there, so we took them to the museum.

“Rusty and his team did all kinds of tests, and it turns out the wood’s from before the turn of the millennium,” Luxfer said. “That, coupled with the only way for them to get up there is if water covered the island, this being part of the Ark’s the obvious answer. I still get all shivery just thinking about having touched it.”

Local theologians say the possibility is not as far-fetched as it seems.

“Notes in some of the Dead Sea Scrolls mention Noah’s Ark making contact with bits of land prior to settling on Mount Ararat,” Our Lady of Blacktip’s Father Audley Crossblesser said. “These semi-finished timbers match with that, as well as with boat-building techniques used in the ancient Near East.

“We suspect the Ark had a small hull breach here, and the flood waters receded just in time for the animals and people to not drown,” Crossblesser said. “God blessed Noah and his family, and now has blessed us, too, by letting us become part of that incredible story.”

Locals say island tradition supports that theory.

“It’s a old tale, passed down for generations, how the Ark crunched into Blacktip as it drifted ‘round the world,” Vinson Noboddie said. “Makes sense, too. There was iguanas and soldier crabs and boobies on the Ark, you know. How’d they get here if they didn’t fall off early? No way they migrated from Turkey or Armenia or some such.

“And they never found Noah’s Ark, either, you know,” Noboddie said. “Who’s to say it didn’t land here, and all those other animals migrated away? ‘Ararat’ sounds a lot like ‘island of rats,’ and that’s Blacktip in spades. There’s more proof of the Ark landing here than in foreign parts.”

Others questioned the find.

“This is random storm wrack,” Angela Fisher said. “Audley talks about proof, but there’s no proof Noah’s Ark ever existed at all. And iguanas and hermit crabs’re here because they evolved here. This is just another crazy island tale dreamed up after too much rum at the Ballyhoo on a Saturday night.”

Blacktip Island business leaders embraced the find.

“We already have blueprints for the Blacktip Island Noah’s Ark Museum,” island Camber of Commerce president Harry Wrasse said. “It’ll house these fragments, as well as scale models of the original Ark people can walk through, and a bunch of dioramas showing daily life on the Ark.

“Doesn’t matter if the Ark story’s true or not,” Wrasse said. “Folks’ll pay good money to come here to see this stuff. And book hotel rooms and eat at restaurants. We’ll also have a whole line of Real Noah’s Ark t-shirts, caps, beer coozies and ditty bags. Who wouldn’t want a Real Ark ditty bag?”