Tag Archives: Caribbean island

May 30, 2014 · 6:45 am

Underwater Opera Debuts on Blacktip Island

Hand-crafted costumes for ‘Nudibranch: The Operetta.’

The Blacktip Island Community Players kick off their summer musical series Saturday with ‘Nudibranch: The Operatta,’ written by local divemasters and performed entirely underwater.

Plexiglas helmets will provide the airspace for actors to sing.

“We wanted something colorful and festive to celebrate summer,” musical director Doris Blenny said. “And what’s more festive than multicolored sea slugs?

“I’m continually astounded by the operatic and dramatic talent among dive staffs on this little island. We’re fast becoming the La Scala of the Caribbean.”

Original songs include:

Slime Trails in the Moonlight
Gastropod Gurls
Cerata, Cerata
Tough Enough For A Butt-Tuft
Sea Goddess in the Sand
I’m a Slight, Bright, Undersea Hermaphrodite
Three Nudibranchs on the Reef Are We

“The idea was to perform open-air,” Blenny said. “But then we thought, what better stage for sea slug-themed light opera than the reef itself?”

“Underwater is the proper setting,” co-writer and mezzo-soprano Catarina Porto said. “The water slows our movements and makes us more slug-like. The realism is uncanny.”

“It cuts down on drunks crashing the show, too,” said co-writer and contralto Alison Diesel. “That’s what ruined last year’s ‘Pirates of Penzance.’ I mean, it added realism and all, but it wasn’t right.”

“All the actors created their own costumes from locally-sourced materials,” costume master and tenor Payne Hanover said. “Some are coming up with colors and tuft configurations I honestly don’t think exist in nature. But that’s where art stops imitating life, I suppose, and we’re all about that.”

Limited kneeling will be available in the island’s underwater theater. Overflow seating and a live transmission will be available at the Sand Spit bar.

“The trick was finding a time when there was no hockey, basketball, baseball, rugby, soccer or cricket being broadcast,” Sand Spit bartender Corrie Anders said. “We tried to show the fall musical on a Saturday afternoon last year and a bunch of West Virginia University football fans about tore the place apart.”

Proceeds from the production will go to the Offenbach Scholarship for island divemasters bound for the Juilliard School.

Scuba Fashion Week Comes to Blacktip Island

Designer wetsuits hang ready for Blacktip Island’s Underwater Fashion Week.

Underwater Fashion Week returns to Blacktip Island this weekend, with top local and international fashion designers showcasing their latest collections.

Underwater runway models have been chosen from local dive staffs following last year’s near-drownings.

“Blacktip has always been at the cutting edge of Caribbean dive fashion,” event organizer Georgio Pompano said. “This year’s designers have pushed that edge to put us at the absolute fringe of the submerged fashion map.”

“‘Retro, sassy and fun’ is the touchstone this season,” said local designer Kitty Smarr. “Your grandpa’s black is the new black. It contrasts phenomenally with our models’ sun-bleached hair”

“We’ve done some daring things with board shorts,” local designer and Sand Spit bartender Corry Anders said. “We’re using mole fur and alligator skin to enhance the sensory experience before, during and after the dive. And all our shorts are edible, of course.”

As ever, the wetsuit is at the heart of Blacktip’s sub-aquatic haute couture.

“We’ve re-imagined warmth protection to transform cliché into major pizzazz,” Pompano said. “Our suits are not your quotidian, urine-soaked farmer john-and-jackets.”

“Beaver tails are back, with a mid-60s retro vengeance,” Anders said. “And French-cut women’s shorties. It gives divers a definite ‘Dr. No’ vibe.

“Throwback dive knives are hip, too. We’ve taken the Sea Hunt-standard dive machete and updated it with a faux black coral handle, sheath and matching sunglasses.”

“The showstopper is our Chanel-inspired mid-thigh hooded vest with a chinchilla fur-rimmed hood and duct tape accents,” Pompano said. “When is a hooded vest not a hooded vest? When it expands into a hoodie-mini! Hello!”

“Makeup is the biggest challenge,” Kitty Smarr said. “All our divemaster models have brown noses and white eye sockets. We have to mask that. And the makeup has to hold up under water.

“This year we’re mixing all our bases and mascaras with a neutral-tinted axle grease to make sure they stay on during the grueling runway presentation and any backstage scuffles that may break out.”

The runway finale will be podcast live to Sand Spit bar during next Friday’s happy hour. Free hors d’oeuvres will be served.

“We’ll have all-you-can-eat popcorn and cocktail weenies,” Anders said. “Plus the full cash bar menu, of course.”

A second television will feature the first round of the NBA playoffs.

Skeet Shooters Clash With Shoppers Over Delivery Drones

A delivery drone similar to the ones being targeted on Blacktip Island. (photo by X-Javier)

The Blacktip Island Trap and Skeet Club’s recent use of online delivery drones as targets has sparked a bitter feud with island shoppers.

“Clay pigeons get pricey, when we can get them,” club president B.C. Flote said. “We lucked onto this, though, and it’s been a blast.

“First time was a mistake. Ol’ Doc Plank saw one of those things coming in low over the range, thought it was part of the sporting clay session, and blew it to bejesus. From there we were off and running.”

Customers awaiting drone deliveries on the isolated Caribbean island are not amused.

“It’s hard enough to get supplies on Blacktip,” resident Corry Anders said. “These drones were a godsend. Now our stuff’s getting blown away left and right. What is wrong with these people?”

Conservationists are up in arms as well.

“They’re blazing away at anything that flies – frigate birds, boobies, ospreys, even a flamingo,” said Waterfowl Warrior spokesperson Harry Pickett. “These are protected species, and they’re being blown to smithereens.”

Club members, however, are enthusiastic.

“It’s brilliant,” shooter Lee Helm said. “You order some knickknack online, prang it before it can land, then decline payment for non-delivery. You have to wait four to six business days for a target, but it’s free.”

“The coast is eat-up with sport shooters,” Flote said. “Some folks are even anchoring offshore in skiffs, or bobbing in scuba gear to get first crack at drones flying low under the radar. Right now, Blacktip Island has a tighter air defense system than North Korea.

“And the so-called flamingo incident was actually a delivery of pink feather boas,” Flote said. “No harm done there. We tell our folks, ‘if it’s flapping, let it pass,’ and they generally comply.”

Island shoppers like Anders, however, angered by lost deliveries, have launched a grassroots response aimed at ensuring the safe arrival of their goods.

“We’re bombarding the shooting blinds,” Anders said. “Hunting the hunters. As soon as a shooter raises a gun, we pelt them with coconuts. It’s crude, but effective. This would have been a bleak Christmas if it weren’t for our coconut barrages. They can’t shoot if they’re unconscious on the sand.

“It’s an all-for-one, united-we-stand situation. The goods you save may be your own.”

Island shooting enthusiasts have responded by donning bicycle helmets and wrapping themselves in beach towels for protection.

“It’s become a real cat-and-mouse game,” Flote said, “with us trying to get a clean shot and the shoppers trying to whack us. It takes the sport to a whole new level that I think benefits both sides.”