July 20, 2018 · 8:29 am

Beach Cleanup Organizers Stiffen BBQ Attendance Rules

beach cleanup

Beach Sweeper president Finny Chub shows off some of the trash he collected by himself on a recent beach cleanup. Poor cleanup turnout has prompted Beach Sweepers to change the rules regarding the post-cleanup picnics. (photo courtesy of Mike Baird)

Blacktip Island’s Beach Sweepers, a volunteer beach cleanup group, has tightened attendance rules for its post-cleanup celebratory barbecue this Saturday at Spider Bight beach, a move that angered many local residents.

“You don’t get food or a beer unless you actually pick up trash off the beach,” cleanup organizer Finny Chub said. “Last month it was just me out in the baking sun for three hours. Then when it was time for the cookout, 50 people showed up. We’re calling BS on that.

“I had a whole pig roasted and three coolers of beer, and folks hit that like a swarm of locusts,” Chub said. “It was all gone before I could have any of it. From now on you’ll have to hand in a full trash bag to get a food voucher. No voucher, no BBQ for you.”

Some in the community backed Chub.

“It’s harsh, but something had to be done,” Beach Sweeper member Christina Mojarra said. “The trash collection has to be substantive, too. No, “here’s my cigarette butt,” like Dermott Bottoms tried last time.

“It’s pretty simple, really,” Mojarra said. “You want a burger? Pick up a burger wrapper. You want a beer? Pick up a bottle or two.”

Most, however, opposed the new rule

“Cleanups are a community event, a community celebration,” Antonio Fletcher said. “That’s when people come together. Finny’s creating division where there wasn’t any. Where there shouldn’t be any.”

“Now, some of us might not be out in the noonday sun physically collecting garbage, but we’re there in spirit,” Fletcher said. “That community spirit is what we’re celebrating. Or were.”

Others objected on cultural grounds.

“They called me a freeloader, and they’re damned right,” Dermott Bottoms said. “Freeloading’s a Blacktip tradition. We’re celebrating our heritage, you know. Honing our foraging skills.

“There’s givers and takers in this world,” Bottoms said. “Blacktip has a long history of taking. We’re proud of that. Mess with that, you mess up the balance that makes the island tick. Finny’s gonna have hell to pay.”

Island authorities have warned residents to keep their disagreements civil.

“There’s been two instances where household waste was dumped on the beach upwind of Mr. Chub’s house,” Island Police Constable Rafe Marquette said. “Anyone caught purposely littering is going to be doing some forced beach cleanup. A lot of forced beach cleanup. With no cookout afterwards.”

Leave a comment

Filed under Caribbean

Tagged as , , , , , ,

July 13, 2018 · 12:57 pm

Blacktip Island Readies For Most Boring Person Contest

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

Rusty Goby is favored in Saturday’s 17th Annual Most Boring Person on Blacktip Island contest. “Talking to Lee’s like trying to have a conversation with a bunch of sea grass,” one resident said. (photo courtesy of Doris Blenny)

Blacktip Island’s 17th Annual Most Boring Person vote will be announced Saturday afternoon at the Caribbean Island’s Heritage House, with proceeds going to the local Habitat for Humanity.

“Rusty Goby’s won the whole enchilada three years running, and he’s the favorite to win it again,” vote organizer Jerrod Ephesians said. “Rusty’s so boring, I’ve seen people ditch him to watch paint dry.

“You get stuck next to him at the bar, it can make your teeth hurt,” Ephesians said. “He’s the guy you’ll cross the street to avoid in case he tries to start a conversation.”

Contestants are judged by a monetary donations from island residents.

“We charge a dollar a vote, and people can vote as many times as they want,” Heritage House docent Doris Blenny said. “It’s not uncommon for some people to vote multiple times for the same person and treat every dollar as a charitable donation.

“It’s doubly charitable, really, since it raises money for a good cause and publicly identifies a person one should avoid at all costs,” Blenny said. “We think of it as a public service.”

Goby faces stiff competition this year from island newcomer Brandon Schaft and longtime resident Lee Helm.

“Lee’s about the dullest person I’ve ever met,” resident Finn Kiick said. “He’s an ass, too, but that’s a different contest. My money’s on him, hands down.”

Others disagreed.

“Lee’s not so much boring as he is tedious,” Val Schrader said. “You cringe when he shows up at a party, but then you pull up a chair to see how many people he pisses off in how little time. There’s a brute entertainment in that.

“Brandon, now, he could stupefy an ADHD monkey on acid,” Schrader said. “I’m not sure if he can knock off Rusty, but I put in $100 to hopefully put him over the top.”

While many island residents see being nominated as an insult, many old-timers view it as a badge of honor.

“If Blacktip folks say you’re boring, that means they’re not gossiping about you,” Rocky Shore said. “That’s tough to accomplish on this little rock. And if no one’s talking about you, you’re living your life right.”

The winner will be announced at 5 p.m., then promptly ignored.

“We used to give out a t-shirt, but there’s not really any point,” Ephesians said. “We leave the winner at the Heritage House and go out bar hopping without him.”

Rusty Goby could not be reached for comment.

Leave a comment

Filed under Caribbean

Tagged as , , , , ,

July 6, 2018 · 7:53 am

Feuding Bars Divide Blacktip Island Residents

bar feud

Customers of Blacktip Island’s Last Ballyhoo and Tail Spinner bars are at odds this week after a disagreement about personal cleanliness. (photo courtesy of scottb211)

A dispute between Blacktip Island bar owners evolved into an island-wide feud this week, pitting patrons of The Last Ballyhoo and the Tail Spinner bars against each other.

“It started when Whitey Bottoms put a big bowl of popcorn on the Ballyhoo bar for everyone to snack on,” Ledford Waite said. “Folks were coming back from the restroom and grabbing handfuls of popcorn, and there were some harsh words about whether hands had been washed.

“As a joke, Ginger Bass up at the Tail Spinner made a show of handing out individual cups of popcorn to each drinker there, and Whitey took it personal,” Waite said. “He said anyone who drank at the Spinner wasn’t welcome at the Ballyhoo. Then Ginger banned Ballyhooers from the Spinner and the whole island turned on itself.”

Residents say the feud has many of them afraid to go out.

“It started with practical jokes. Dirt on car hoods, rude messages on windshields, that sort of thing,” Joey Pompano said. “This week, though, it’s really ratcheted up. Three scooters had their tires slashed in the Ballyhoo parking lot just last night.

“It’s all over nothing, but it’s dividing families. It’s dividing dive staffs,” Pompano said. “It could end today if Whitey and Ginger just made up, but everyone’s gone all tribal and no one’s listening to reason.

Bottoms refused pleas to end the strife.

“Ginger called my customers dirty and my bar dirty. Hell, she called me dirty,” he said. “If her people are so almighty sanitary, they can kiss my unwashed butt.

“A couple of them wandered down yesterday, trying to bury the hatchet,” Bottoms said. “I chucked them out the door. Literally. And it’s not my fault their tires got cut up.”

Bass has dug in her heels as well.

“It wasn’t meant as an insult, but Whitey’s got thin skin,” she said. “Now, I wouldn’t put any of his popcorn in my mouth. And I’m not serving any of his regulars, either, unless they wash their hands first. Where I can see them.

“Sure, we’re all Blacktippers, and we should all get along,” Bass said. “But I’m not caving in to that kind of bullying.”

Island authorities are taking steps to curb the violence.

“There’s only one of me, and I’ve had it with this crap,” Island Police Constable Rafe Marquette said. “Dermott Bottoms and James Conlee are in the jail cell right now, and they can rot there. I was set to go on vacation, now this happens.

“And whoever’s calling in the false firearms violations is going in there with them,” Marquette said. “I broke down the Maples’ front door last night, and it was all a prank.”

Other island bars have tried to provide common ground, with varying success.

“We’ve implemented a snack-free bar and declared the resort a judgment-free zone in terms of personal hygiene,” Sandy Bottoms Beach Resort manager Kay Valve said. “So far all it’s got us is beer bottles through a couple of windows, but I think we’re moving in a positive direction.”

Leave a comment

Filed under Caribbean

Tagged as , , , , , ,

June 29, 2018 · 2:55 pm

Island Players To Stage Hollywood Classic

TORA_TORA_TORA

Due to an island-wide outbreak of iguana pox, the staff of the Blacktip Times was unable to cover this week’s breaking news stories (or stop scratching themselves . . . or keep food down). Below is a reprint of an earlier story, in anticipation of next month’s Blacktip Island Community Players summer musical production.
– The Blacktip Times editorial board
(photo courtesy of Cory W. Watts)

The Blacktip Island Community Players will perform ‘Tora! Tora! Tora!’ December 6 – January 2 in their annual Fall Extravaganza. The production stars Payne Hanover as Adm. William ‘Bull’ Halsey, Lee Helm as Cmdr. Minoru Genada and Miss Marina DeLow as Adm. Isoroku Yamamoto.

“We are blessed by the quality and vibrancy of the amateur acting community on the island,” director Doris Blenny said. “This production truly showcases that talent.

“We are also appreciative of the efforts of island residents in collecting land crabs for use as Japanese attack squadrons. This production wouldn’t be possible without their help.”

As is de rigueur for the BICP, the production promises to be a visual spectacle.

“We’ve been practicing the big torpedo bombing scene for weeks now, and everyone’s pretty banged up,” Hanover said. “It’ll all be worthwhile when that curtain comes up, though, and we see those 15, 20 eager faces in the audience ducking for cover.”

Proceeds from the play will go to Habitat for Humanity of Blacktip Island.

Theatre-goers are reminded alcohol will not be served before the performance or during intermission in light of this summer’s ‘Lawrence of Arabia’ incident. Purses and backpacks will be searched at the door.

In related news, volunteers are needed the next two weekends to help with roofing, drywalling and repainting the playhouse.

Leave a comment

Filed under Caribbean

Tagged as , , , , , ,

June 22, 2018 · 7:30 am

Dive Knife-Throwing Tourney Highlights Blacktip Island Weekend

dive knife throwing

Eagle Ray Cove’s inaugural dive knife-throwing contest Saturday is open to all types of dive knives and all throwing styles. (photo courtesy of Ger Latner)

Blacktip Island’s Eagle Ray Cove resort is capitalizing on the growing popularity of knife throwing by hosting a dive knife-throwing contest Saturday

“People are already chucking knives on the sly on dive boats and behind bars late at night,” Eagle Ray Divers manager Ger Latner said. “Might as well bring it out in the open, make it an official thing. It’s part of scuba culture that’s been hiding in the shadows too long. And our boats are taking a beating.

“It’s open to all types of knives and all throwing styles,” Latner said. “The only restriction is our lawyers say contestants have to wear safety glasses, but a dive mask with tempered glass’ll do.”

Contest organizers were still working out the details of the event Thursday.

“We’ll have wooden targets on the dock at three, 10 and 15 feet,” Blacktip Chamber of Commerce Kay Valve said. “We’re also looking at the possibility of adding an underwater round, to really tie the contest in with its scuba diving roots.

“The grand prize is the coveted Silver Flash Dive Machete,” Valve said. “It’s a 12-inch, chrome-plated, pointed-tip Lloyd Bridges Commemorative Edition. With the handle, it’s as long as your thigh. Everyone’s hot to win that puppy.”

Latner said contestants will be asked not to drink until after the competition has ended.

“Originally, we planned on alcohol being just another variable,” he said. “Historically, knife throwing and drinking go hand in hand, and we really are trying to reconnect to our roots with this.

“Our attorneys put the kibosh on that right quick, though,” Latner said. “We’re taking the safer route, under protest, but, of course, we can’t stop folks from boozing up on the sly.”

Other organizers stressed the weekend is about more that flying knives.

“It’ll be an event that appeals to the whole family,” Christina Mojarra said. “We’ll have knives for sale, knife sharpening booths, and we’ll sell food, t-shirts and other chotskies.

“Also, Gage Hoase’ll be doing coral carving,” Mojarra said. “With a couple of knives and a chunk of coral, he can chisel out little seahorses, turtles, you name it, in no time flat. We’ll have kids activities, too, like the mumbley-peg contest. The younger kiddos will wear close-toed shoes, but the bigger ones will compete barefoot.”

The tournament is sponsored by dive knife manufacturer Wenoka.

Leave a comment

Filed under Caribbean, Scuba Diving

Tagged as , , , , , ,

June 15, 2018 · 7:45 am

Beach Plastic Henge Is Blacktip Island’s Newest Attraction

beachplastic henge

The Beach Plastic Henge, formed from discarded plastic pressed into standing-stone molds, is Blacktip Island’s newest tourist attraction. The henge stands near the small Caribbean island’s airfield. (photo courtesy of Harry Wrasse)

A Blacktip Island civic group Wednesday unveiled what it dubbed the Beach Plastic Henge, modeled after Great Britain’s famous Stonehenge, as an alternative to throwing plastic collected on beach cleanups in the island dump.

“People collect tons of plastic off the beaches, which is great, but the dump’s filling up, and the stuff’s still loose for the wind to blow away,” said Art and Nature Society Of Blacktip president Harry Wrasse. “Shipping it off island’s ungodly expensive, so, using the we figured we’d put the one-big-pile’s-better-than-a-bunch-of-little-piles theory into action.

“We settled on the scale-model henge,” Wrasse said. “Stone Age Blacktippers built henges, so it’s a hat tip to them, and to the island’s heritage. And it’s aligned so the sun shines through it at equinox and solstice. Pretty much. I mean, it shines through part of it, anyway. We hope it’ll become a popular tourist spot for photos and such.”

Island conservationists applauded the structure.

“All that garbage packed inside those chicken-wire frames really drives home how much plastic is out there,” resident Kay Valve said. “It reminds people not to pollute. That it’s also art is just icing on the cake.”

Despite its popularity, the henge is still a work in progress ANSOB members said.

“Even in the frame, and with the sprayed-on coating, the stuff still decays in the sunlight,” Christina Mojarra said. “We have big ceramic flowerpots at the base of each stone to collect any plastic that falls. We’re still working out how to handle microbeads and nanobeads, but this is a start.

“A lot of the maintenance, going forward, will be done by school kids as part of their art class,” _____ said. “Well, school kid. Little Shelly Bottoms so loves to pick at the plastic and nibble the rough edges.”

Some island residents are not pleased with the sculpture.

“It’s not art. It’s an eyesore,” Club Scuba Doo owner Ham Pilchard said. “It’s a big neon sign screaming, ‘Hey, look at our pile of crap!’ And right by the airstrip for everyone to see.

“Harry and them can pat themselves on the backs all they want, but it still doesn’t get the plastic off the island,” Pilchard said. “You don’t want to get downwind of it either. Some of that junk’s been in the ocean a while and had stuff growing on it. The smell’ll make your eyes water.”

Wrasse stressed that no marine life was harmed in making the henge.

“We only collect plastic from above the high-tide mark,” he said. “We’re not taking any living organisms from the sea.

“We have more plastic that we can handle just from that,” Wrasse added. “As more gets collected, we may do other famous world landmarks – the Eiffel Tower, the Great Wall, the Coliseum. We’ll call it the Seven Wonders of Blacktip Island. And sell t-shirts and drinks.”

Leave a comment

Filed under Caribbean

Tagged as , , , , , ,

June 8, 2018 · 6:41 am

Underwater Scooter-Sharing Comes To Blacktip Island

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

Bamboo You founder Piers “Doc” Plank demonstrates one of his D-PEEVE underwater scooters on Blacktip Island’s Jawfish Reef Thursday. The company launched a DPV-sharing service on the Caribbean island this week. (photo courtesy of Marco Busdraghi)

A Blacktip Island entrepreneur is betting underwater scooter sharing will be the next scuba craze by launching a diver-propelled vehicle-sharing service this week on the Caribbean island’s dive sites.

“D-PEEVE is a riff on the bike sharing that’s all the rage now,” said Bamboo You founder Piers “Doc” Plank. “We scattered them across all the popular reefs, along with underwater charging stations that look like coral heads.

“Tap your resort key fob on the payment box, and off you go,” Plank said. “We charge it straight to your room. Each charge gives you 15 minutes of DPV time, then you leave the D-PEEVE wherever you happen to be.”

The unattended scooters surprised some island divers.

“I about spit my reg when I saw a DPV plugged into the coral,” Sandy Bottoms Beach Resort guest Missy Mahi said. “I thought it was a joke and hauled it up to the boat to clean up the reef.

“Everybody laughed at me, but I got even on the next dive,” Mahi said. “I shot through a tunnel full throttle and popped out – FWOOM – like a cannonball. It silted the tunnel so bad the jokers behind me couldn’t see a thing.”

Some scuba professionals are leery of Plank’s new service.

“This scooter crap is eat up with safety issues,” Eagle Ray Divers operation manager Ger Latneer said. “Most divers aren’t trained in DPV use. And if the battery dies, we got divers stranded off who-knows-where.

“The biggest worry’s unless there’s two scooters together, that means guests are solo diving at 10, 12 knots,” Latner said. “Or one diver’s hanging onto his buddy’s fins, getting dragged behind.”

Plank said those worries are unfounded.

“There’s an instruction card on top of each D-PEEVE that explains how to use it,” he said. “And we have GPS trackers, so we can always find the units.

“If someone decides to go off on their own, well, that’s not our fault. Divers are always wandering off anyway,” Plank said. “And with only a 15-minute charge, how far can they really go?”

Plank said Bamboo You plans other, similar gear-sharing programs.

“We’re gonna do entire scuba rig-sharing,” he said. “I’m talking the tank, BC and regulator, the whole shebang. People can swim down, slip into the gear and do a quick reef tour. Then when they’re through, they just float the rig in to shore and we can top off the tank.

“You won’t have to lug your scuba gear with you on vacation anymore,” Plank said.

Leave a comment

Filed under Caribbean, Scuba Diving

Tagged as , , , , , , ,

June 1, 2018 · 6:55 am

iChurch Phone App Irks Blacktip Island Religious Leaders

iChurch

Blacktip Island’s non-denominational church stands empty after the launch of iChurch, a mobile application that allows island residents who subscribe to the service to attend church from anywhere on the island. (photo courtesy of the Reverend Pierre Grunt)

Sunday morning will bring the hard launch of iChurch, a mobile application developed by a local theologian, that will allow subscribers to attend religious services wherever they happen to be.

“We’re taking away any excuse for not going to church,” said the former-Reverend Jerrod Ephesians, the app’s developer and chair of the Blacktip Island Ecumenical Council. “Too busy? Socially anxious? Want to avoid that person? Now you don’t have to leave your house. Or your couch.

“Enter a religion or denomination, and voila,” Ephesians said. “We’ve got them all. Well, the biggies, anyway. It gets you in the ballpark. And it does retinal monitoring to see how engaged you are. You start to zone out, iChurch kicks it up a notch to keep you hooked.”

Early adopters were impressed.

“For last Sunday’s beta test, I went to mass without getting out of bed,” said divemaster Marina DeLow. “That was great, because, hell, after Saturday night, I couldn’t even sit up.

“A sim-priest walks you through the Eucharist, and you can use whatever’s on hand for bread and wine,” DeLow said. “Day-old pizza and beer was handy. Afterwards, I felt moved deep inside. That could have been the pizza, though.”

The app drew criticism from some on the island’s religious community.

“This pay-to-pray program makes a mockery of religious faith,” said the Reverend Pierre Grunt, pastor of the island’s non-denominational church. “Jerrod never has said what got him defrocked, but I’ll wager glib grifting had something to do with it.

“And where’s the ‘body of believers’ in Jerrod’s slick little computer church?” Grunt said. “What’s worse, it’s killing real church attendance. A brick-and-mortar church can’t compete. This’s hitting us right in the offering plates.”

Ephesians was quick to fire back.

“If Pierre wasn’t so boring, he wouldn’t have to worry about competition,” Ephesians said. “He needs to focus on improving his product instead of crying and pointing fingers.

“And iChurch does foster a sense of community,” Ephesians said. “We have chat rooms and in-app meetups, even hymn-singing. Right after we collect the Bitcoin offering.”

Others were disappointed by the app’s limited range.

“There’s parts of the island, like down the southeast coast, where there’s no internet signal,” resident Frank Maples said. “We always joked about Mahogany Row being so far off the grid there’s no God there. Now it’s true.”

Ephesians said he had plans to expand the app’s functionality.

“We’re gonna put in some repeaters so we get total coverage,” he said. “iChurch has the capability to compete with the megachurches, and that’s exactly what we mean to do.”

Leave a comment

Filed under Caribbean

Tagged as , , , , , ,

May 25, 2018 · 7:32 am

Underwater Screaming Classes Bring Peace To Blacktip Island

underwater screaming

A green moray eel flees from a primal screaming diver Thursday afternoon during one of Club Scuba Doo’s ‘underwater hollering’ sessions off Blacktip Island’s Diddley’s Landing public pier. (photo courtesy of P. Lindgren)

 

In an effort to reduce stress on Blacktip Island, one local resort this week began offering underwater screaming sessions for its guests and island residents.

“We noticed our divers seemed more stressed than usual lately and decided to do something about it,” said Club Scuba Doo diving manager Finn Kiick. “Everybody’s doing the meditation bit these days, so we decided to take a different tack.

“It’s a throwback to the primal scream craze from the 70s,” Kiick said. “The retro thing is all the rage. We call it ‘submerged hollering’ to avoid legal trouble.”

Organizers say the classes produce immediate results.

“Everything about it’s relaxing,” Club Scuba Doo scuba instructor Rosie Blenny said. “The water’s calming. The fish are calming. And when you let out that first yell, your stress evaporates. Underwater, they can hear you scream. And that’s a good thing.

“After the first scream all the fish disappear, but at least they’re there to set the tone,” Blenny said. “The only hitch is sometimes it’s hard to tell the difference between a participant and a diver in actual trouble, but we’re getting better at sorting that out. Mostly.”

Participants say the formal structure is key.

“I can yell all I want on my own, but it doesn’t do me any good,” Club Scuba Doo guest Marlin Bleu said. “But with this we sit in the sand, like those drum circles men’s groups used to do. Except not in our underwear. We wear shorts. It’s different.

“We give ourselves fish names and scream them through our regs,” Bleu said. “I’m Parrotfish-Who-Nibbles-Earlobes. I was so relaxed at the end of the first class I could barely climb up the dock steps.”

Organizers dodged environmental minefields by staging the sessions outside the marine park.

“It’s Blacktip, so someone’s going to complain to matter what we do, but we nipped the fish-hugger protest in the bud,” Kiick said. “We do classes in the sand out from Diddley’s Landing where there’s no coral to kill.

“The big thing’s not to have sessions when the barge’s coming in,” Kiick added. “That surprised last week. The hull slid over us and blocked out the sun, and the big-ass props were spinning like giant Cuisinarts right above us, it was like the end of the world. People screamed alright, but not in a good way.”

Participants hope the classes continue.

“I laughed at first, then tried it on a dare, and it actually works,” Sand Spit bartender Cori Anders said. “I’m up to three sessions a week now, and my blood pressure’s down a good 20 points. My throat’s raw, but at least I’m not yelling at guests anymore.”

 

Leave a comment

Filed under Caribbean, Scuba Diving

Tagged as , , , , , ,

May 18, 2018 · 7:14 am

Charity Domino Brawl Sends Five To Blacktip Island Clinic

domino brawl

Most of the furniture in Blacktip Island’s Heritage House was destroyed during Thursday’s drunken melee at a charity domino tournament to benefit the island’s school. (photo courtesy of Carnivalsman)

A brawl at a Blacktip Island charity domino tournament Thursday evening sent five people to the medical clinic and caused extensive damage to the island’s Heritage House, authorities said.

“James Conlee and Mr. Snapper, the schoolmaster, were trash talking before their match, and things got out of hand,” said tournament organizer Kay Valve. “One moment it was insults as usual, the next, punches were flying, tables were crashing and jerked chicken from the food stand was sailing everywhere.

“These matches are powder kegs,” Valve said. “Alcohol was factor, but we can’t ban consumption. That’s an integral part of the sport. We do tell folks to drink in moderation, but that means different things to different people. This is why we can’t have nice tournaments.”

Accounts varied about what provoked the melee.

“That damned Snapper started it,” James Conlee said. “He’s been palming tiles all tourney, you know. Slipping them out when he thinks no one’s looking. Acts all ‘it’s for the kids,’ but he’s a snake.”

Snapper disputed Conlee’s account.

“I was wearing a tank top and shorts. Where would I hide tiles?” he said. “It was James’ fault. He said my scooter was an eyesore, so I said, ‘well, so’s your wife.’ Then out of nowhere he just hit me for no reason. He’s crazy.

“This is the guy who put bird feed in my bug zapper two days ago, just to get inside my head,” Snapper said. “We were raising funds for the school. Now because of him, the kids have to pay for damages instead.”

Island authorities say the brawl escalated quickly.

“Lee Helm got too close, took an elbow to the teeth, then fell across Clete Horn and Antonio Fletcher’s game,” Island Police Constable Rafe Marquette said. “Clete and ‘Tonio started punching anything that moved, and next thing you know, Christina Mojarra was swinging a chair like she was batting cleanup. She laid out a half-dozen people before we could take her down.

Five players were treated for minor injuries. Lee Helm was flown to Bottoms Memorial Medical Center on Tiperon to have domino tiles removed from his nasal cavities and other orifices.

“I don’t know how Lee got hurt to badly. He wasn’t even in the tournament,” Valve said. “Wrong place, wrong time, I suppose. Of course, he’s never been well-liked on the island, so people may have used the opportunity to settle old grudges.

“Bottom line, we’ve banned multiple players for life,” Valve said. “Or until the memory fades. Probably next Thursday.”

Leave a comment

Filed under Caribbean

Tagged as , , , , , , ,