Wednesdays suck. Dolphins make them better!
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Blacktip Island Divers Encounter Kraken During Night Dive
- A photo of the creature Blacktip Island night divers claim was a juvenile kraken responsible for attacking them Wednesday night. (photo courtesy of Richard Zerpe)
Scuba divers off Blacktip Islandâs Diddleyâs Landing public pier Wednesday night claim to have encountered a kraken, a giant, squid-like creature long thought a legend.
âThereâs been stories of krakens in the deep water off that coast, but nobody really believed them,â Angela Fisher said. âBut that night, during the dive, a couple of us felt something squishy grabbing at our legs. Then, right by the pier, this big squid-thing appeared out of nowhere, all tentacles flailing and beak snapping.
âJoey Pompano pulled out his knife, and me and Alison Diesel purged our alternate airs at it,â Fisher said. âIt freaked at the bubbles and inked, and we dragged ourselves up the pier steps quick-like-the-bunny. Scariest thing that ever happened to me on a dive.â
Divers say the creature matched what they know of kraken.
âIt was textbook kraken, just smaller and more skittish,â Alison Diesel said. âIt mustâve just hatched out. Thatâs why it was so small. And why no oneâs seen it before. And why it spooked so quick. It had to have been behind us during the dive, testing us with its tentacles. Then it went full-Cthulhu when it realized we were getting out.
âI itâll learn as it grows. Thatâs the scary part,â Diesel said. âBefore long before it wonât b safe to dive on Blacktip. And itâll go after boats, too. This is way-spooky stuff.â
Some on the island, however, questioned the sighting.
âA kraken? Crack of their butts is more like it,â Tiperon University-Blacktip marine biology professor Ernesto Mojarra said. âIf there were a giant squid, and if one were on the reef, thereâd be no fish left. And this was a night dive. They probably just saw some reef squid or an octopus.
âAnd knowing that bunch, theyâd been smoking God-knows-what before they jumped in the water,â Mojarra added. âTentacles brushing their legs? That was probably them kicking the hell out of sea plumes.â
The divers defended their claims.
âI know octopus, and that was no octopus,â Pompano said. âIt charged us. Eyes flashing. I could see the beak snapping two, three feet in front of my face. It was like that scene from â20,000 Leagues Under the Sea.â
âWe reckon it just got here, thatâs why no one elseâs seen it,â Pomano said. âWe got lucky. What if purging a reg doesnât scare it off next time?â
Several dive resorts plan to capitalize on the sighting once tourists return to the island.
âSure, thereâs no such thing as a kraken and divers are safe on our reefs,â island mayor Jack Cobia said. âBut Eagle Ray Coveâs gonna run special Kraken dive charters. For an upcharge, of course. And Finn down at Club Scuba Doo, he sent off a proposal for a Kraken Diver specialty course. Heâs just waiting for approval.
âGod bless Angela and those knuckleheads,â Cobia said. âWhen tourists come back, weâre gonna make up for lost time. And income.â
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Blacktip Island Sports Fans Build Human Foosball Court
After Blacktip Islandâs sole table soccer set was destroyed, game enthusiasts created a life-sized court to accommodate human players strapped to PVC poles. (photo courtesy of Alex Proimos)
A group of Blacktip Island game enthusiasts this week constructed a life-sized foosball court designed to use people as the on-board figures after the islandâs sole table-soccer table broke.
âThe table football game at Sandy Bottoms Beach Resort finally disintegrated from the salt air, but lots of people still wanted to play,â Payne Hanover said. âAlso, a lot of us were looking for a quarantine project, so rebuilding the game in life-sized proportions seemed like the logical way to go.
âPeachy Bottoms at the store donated the plywood for the walls and the poles,â Hanover said. âWe set it up by the landing stripâthat was the only cleared spot that was big enough.â
Rules are much the same as traditional table football, organizers said.
âWe Velcro the on-court playersâ arms to the horizontal poles and chuck a soccer ball in with them,â Dusty Blenny said. âThey canât kick the ball unless one of the players outside whacks the pole theyâre strapped to.
âWe wanted to be able to spin the poles, but we havenât figured out the mechanics of that yet,â Blenny said. âItâs still on the drawing board, but it involves ropes and pullies and lots of Dramamine.â
Players say the games have gone well so far.
âWe use standard pick-up team rules,â Wendy Beaufort said. âWhoever turns up plays, with each âplayerâ taking turns picking team members and assigning them to whichever poles.
âWe take regular beer breaks, too, since this is still, at heart, a drinking game.â Beaufort said. âAnd if more people show up than there are spots on the field, we allow substitutions, too.â
The game is not without its drawbacks, some said.
âYour arms get damned tired strapped to that pole,â Hugh Calloway said. âThereâs also nothing you can do to block a ball to the crotch. We keep punking Lee Helm that way, but the dumbass hasnât figured it out yet and keeps coming back for more.
âWith the wall, itâs also tough to light the court to play at night,â Calloway said. âWe lined up cars and turned on the headlights, but those 4-foot-high walls block most of it. Payneâs working on scaffolding to hang reflectors to angle the light in.â
Some on the small Caribbean island scoffed at the idea.
âI donât really see the point, but at least it keeps them off the road. For the most part,â Frank Maples said. âEnd of the day, I guess it doesnât make any less sense than anything else does on this crazy island. So long as it doesnât interfere with airplanes taking off or landing, I suppose itâs harmless.â
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Blacktip Island Kicks Off Inaugural Mosquito Day Festivities
Blacktip Island residents will celebrate the small Caribbean islandâs recent surge in mosquito to boost community spirits after months of cursing the insects. (photo courtesy of James Gathany)
Blacktip Island residents, inundated by the rising number of mosquitos on the small Caribbean island, will join together midday Saturday for the inaugural Mosquito Day festival at Diddleyâs Landing public pier, festival organizers said.
âWith the COVID quarantines in place, the bug spray plane canât get over here from Tiperon,â chamber of commerce president Led Waite said. âA few months without spray and the islandâs just eat-up with skeeters. You got to slather on two layers of repellant just to go outside. It got damned depressing.
âWe figured if we canât beat them, we might as well embrace them,â Waite said. âAnd thereâs usually a nice onshore breeze at Diddleyâs Landing, so thatâll keep the worst of them away. Folksâll be able to relax and enjoy actually being outside without getting bit.â
Organizers say the festival will appeal to all ages.
âWeâll have food and drink stands, of course, and live music. But weâll have games for the kiddos, too,â Dusty Blenny said. âThereâll be DEET misting stations to make sure everyoneâs protected. The little ones just love running through that. And zipping down the bug repellant slip-n-slide and into the sea.
âThereâll also be a âpin the proboscis on the bellyâ game, where blindfolded kiddos wear a pointy nose and see who can get best poke on a rubber mannequin from the clinic,â Blenny said. âWe expect everyone will have a cracking good time.â
In the evening, the festival will shift to more adult-oriented activities.
âWe will have tables set up all âround, with every sort of liquor available, for a mosquito-themed cocktail-making contest,â Reg Gurnard said. âThe drinks may contain anything the contestants want, with the stipulation they must be sipped through a straw. Preference will be given to red cocktails. Extra points will be awarded to any drinks that buzz.
âMid-afternoon the live music will commence,â Gurnard said. âLocal favorites Effing Zeagles and The Social Morays, and Young Jacques and the Double Hose will all perform. There will also be door prizes for attendees with the most mosquito bites, the biggest welt, and the worst allergic reaction.â
Some residents said the festival might be a sign of things to come.
âIf this gig picks up peoplesâ spirits like I think it will, we could make it a regular thing,â Palometa Fischer said. âThe no-see-ums are hell, tooâweâve been spraying our window screens with diesel to keep the little suckers out. We could have a no-see-um festival next month. Or an all-inclusive pain-in-the-butt biting insect fĂŞte to cover all the bases.â
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Blacktip Island Scuba Divers Create Underwater Sharks-and-Minnows League
Scuba diver âminnowsâ Gage Hoase (left) and Ginger Bass race for the safety of a nearby coral head Thursday afternoon during a game of âsharks and minnows.â (photo courtesy of Diego Delso)
Blacktip Islandâs scuba-diving residents, deprived of tourists and other island visitors since March, this week created an underwater sharks-and-minnows league to add variety to their diving activities.
âWeâre all doing lots of recreational diving these days to stave off boredom, but diving the same sites was getting pretty stale,â Gage Hoase said. âFor a laugh one day, Jerrod tried to keep Joey Pompano from getting to the boatâs boarding ladder. Other people laughed and joined in and it turned into an impromptu keep-away game.
âNext day, everybody started playing tag underwater, so we formalized some rules and voila, we had a thing,â Hoase said. âItâs the same rules as above water, or in a pool. Mostly. Divers try to get from one coral head to the next, with the âsharkâ in between. When the shark bangs his tank itâs âshark attackâ time, and the minnows have to get past him without getting tagged.â
Players say the action can get intense.
âIt gets damned competitive down there,â Ginger Bass said. âPeople youâd never suspect of being gamers get super aggressive. And thereâs always arguments about whether somebody was actually tagged. Itâs hard to tell, sometimes, when youâre wearing a wetsuit. A couple of times we had to end the game so people could go to the surface and argue over who did, or didnât get tagged.â
Some on the small Caribbean island raised safety concerns.
âThese people are grabbing and clawing at one another 30 feet underwater. Eventually someoneâll get hurt,â island nurse Marissa Graysby said. âSomebody accidentally snags a regulator hose or bumps someoneâs tank valve while theyâre playing grab-ass, that could mean serious trouble.
âThe only medical infrastructure on this little island are me and the clinic, and we have no way to evacuate anyone off island, Grasby said. âBlacktip is not the place you want to get hurt. Especially now, and for such a silly reason.â
Others said the nurseâs fears were unfounded.
âPeople get into the game, sure, but weâre all careful not to be stupid,â Jay Valve said. âIf a reg comes out, all action stops until the diver gets it back. And we do air checks between each round.
âThe real medical issue is what would happen if we all didnât play this game,â Valve said. âitâs social interaction that doesnât involve drinking, and folks blow off a ton of steam with this. Â Marissaâs not trained to deal with the mental health issues if we all sat around doing nothing. Or diving the same old sites the same old way.â
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Blacktip Islandâs Stargazers Launch Islandâs First Astronomy Club
The Milky Wayâs galactic arm stretches across Blacktip Islandâs Eagle Ray Cove Wednesday night. A group of amateur astronomers has banded together to form the islandâs first astronomy club. (photo of Kristian Pikner)
An informal group of astronomy enthusiasts this week joined forces to form the small Caribbean islandâs first official astronomy club to alleviate boredom while tourism is derailed due to COVID-related border closings.
âEverybody was sitting around, just staring into space one night after the Ballyhoo closed, and the idea hit us,â Blacktip Island Astronomy Society president Cal Batten said. âWe figured we might as well watch stars together since we were doing it anyway after the bars close.
âThereâs too many lights around buildings, though, so we meet out on the airstrip,â Batten said. âEverybody brings a folding lounge chair and their beverage of choice and we stay up most of the night watching the stars, hoping for a comet, that sort of thing.â
Society members say the club is a way to better themselves.
âI was going to learn a language, but this is less stressful and more useful,â Cori Anders said. âPlus, you can drink while you do it. Itâs encouraged, actually. And itâs an opportunity to learn something new.
âLike, I know Iâm a Sagittarius, but wasnât sure what that meant,â Anders said. âSo hopefully thisâll give me some insight into that.â
Others echoed Andersâ sentiments.
âIâm never sure which stars are which, or what people are talking about,â Lee Helm said. âBut I do like laying on my back and watching the stars spin. You feel safe in a group. Unless the constable shows up.â
Island authorities are tolerant of the groupâs activities, to a point.
âClub members are free to use the landing strip, provided they police all garbage when they leave,â Island Police Constable Rafe Marquette said. âThey also have to be gone at first light so they donât interfere with arriving aircraft. Anyone laying on the runway at dawn will be arrested, be they conscious or otherwise. And they have been. Not to mention anyone by name, but his initials are Dermott Bottoms.â
Club officers include: Cal Batten, president; Marina DeLow, vice president; Peachy Bottoms, secretary; and Reg Gurnard, bartender.
The clubâs informal structure is its greatest strength, members said.
âFolks who know about stars and stuff teach the rest of us,â Alison Diesel. âThe other night, Cal brought out his big telescope to give us all cool views of Jupiter, Saturn and Venus. And James Conlee, he swears he saw Uranus.â
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Blacktip Island Scuba Operation Touts Underwater COVID Cure
Club Scuba Doo dive manager Finn Kiick claims his mix of exotic breathing gas and deep dives has eradicated the COVID19 virus on the small Caribbean island. (photo courtesy of Rusty Goby)
A Blacktip Island scuba company Wednesday began administering what it calls prophylactic COVID19 treatments to island residents via compressed gas combined with hyperbaric activity.
âWe use a special breathing mix that zaps the virus,â Club Scuba Doo dive manager Finn Kiick said. âThen we take you down to around 120 feet, and the pressure squeezes whatâs left of it out of your body.
âWe charge extra for the charter, but itâs well worth it,â Kiick said. âUniversity tests prove this works, and so far we have a 100 percent success rate.â
Some in the islandâs scientific community disputed Kiickâs claims.
âThereâs no test from any university in the world that supports Finnâs snake-oil treatment,â said Tiperon University-Blacktip biology chair Ernesto Mojarra. âHeâs giving people who-knows-what to breathe, then taking them down deeper than heâd ever take a dive guest. Heâs going to get people hurt. Or worse.â
Other contested Kiickâs success rate.
âHeâs claiming a perfect cure rate after heâs tried his boondoggle on what, four, five people?â Elena Havens said. âThatâs an awfully small sampling. Oh, and no one on Blacktipâs tested positive for the virus. Pretty easy to claim success when thereâs no virus on the island to begin with. Itâs like me saying snapping my fingers keeps tigers away.â
Kiick defended his claims
âElenaâs right: there is no virus on Blacktip,â he said. âThat just proves the treatment works. Weâre keeping the island virus free. And thereâs been no complaints, so that says weâre doing something right.â
Most treatment recipients were pleased with the results.
âI could feel the gas working right away,â Rusty Goby said. âA couple of breaths and I got all lightheaded. Then Finn took me down deep and all the colors brightened and swirled and held me close. I could feel the dead virus oozing out of my pores. Or something oozing out, anyway.
âAnd Iâve felt great ever since,â Goby said. âI went back for three more treatments, just like Finn prescribed. Whateverâs in that breathing mix really works. I may make it a weekly thing.â
Others questioned the treatment efficacy.
âFinn talks about the gas mix being a trade secret, but I think he just shoots a little flavored oxygen in the nitrox,â Alison Diesel said. âThen he charges triple the rack rate for a one-tank dive. I mean, I was goofed and all, but I canât say I feel any different than before. Except I have weird dreams now. And that was after just one session.â
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Blacktip Island Foil Man Race Will Social Distance Runners
Eagle Ray Cove will be the site of the first leg of Saturdayâs delayed Blacktip Island Tin Man mini-triathlon. (photo courtesy of Christina Mojarra)
Blacktip Islandâs annual Foil Man mini-triathlon, postponed due to COVID19 quarantine orders in May, will take place Saturday morning with social-distance protocols in place, organizers said.
âRacers are eager to compete, but we had to find a way to do it safely,â Rum Runners athletic club president Kay Valve said. âWe were going to do it remote on Zoom, but that seemed pretty hollow. What weâre doing instead is having one individual start every five minutes. This way racers can sort of see each other, but not get too close.
âWeâll also have marshals all along the course to make sure racers maintain their distancing throughout the race,â Valve said. âThe big concern is one racer getting in anotherâs slipstream and getting a snootful of any kind of germs that personâs carrying.â
Racers had mixed emotions about the protocols.
âItâs not ideal, but at least we can still have the race in person,â Rocky Shore said. âWeâre still racing against each other, just not neck-and-neck. The only other option was to cancel an island tradition. And at this point, we all really need a pick-me-up.â
As ever, the race will feature a swim across Eagle Ray Cove, a bike ride from Club Scuba Doo to Diddleyâs Landing public pier, then a run to the Sandy Bottomsâ Beach Resort bar.
âWeâre trying to keep things as normal as possible, or as normal as things get on this little rock,â race marshal Ernestine Bass said. âWeâll have GPS trackers on all contestants to ensure distancing, and proctors on motorcycles will be able to zip to the site of any distancing issues. If someone starts to overtake, theyâll have to run in place, with their personal timer stopped, to re-establish a safe distance.
âThere wonât be any big, dramatic finish, but there will be adrawn-ourt award ceremony thatâll build lots of tension before the winners are announced,â Bass said. âWeâll set the trophies out by the pool and let the winners go get their own when their nameâs called.â
Organizers said there are also protocols in place to protect spectators.
âThereâs giant fans installed on parts of the course where people are likely to gather or where trees grow close to the road,â proctor Christina Mojarra said. âAny place where thereâs a potential for low air movement, weâll create our own wind to diffuse any potential airborne virus hot spots.â
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Plague Romance Highlights Blacktip Islandâs Summer Theater Season
Gage Hoase takes center stage Thursday during rehearsals of the Blacktip Island Community Playersâ production of The Horseman on the Roof. (photo courtesy of Craig Sunter)
The Blacktip Island Community Players will stage an English-language version the plague-themed French classic The Horseman on the Roof Saturday and Sunday to mark the start of its summer theater season, BICP members said.
âWe needed something topical, with everyone so focused on this virus outbreak,â BICP director Doris Blenny said. âA play about cholera is just the thing to boost peoplesâ spirits and get their minds off their problems.
âWe decided on doing the play in English, too, since no one had time to learn French. And no one would understand it anyway,â Blenny said. âPlus, no one knows what a âhussardâ is. And âsur le toitâ sounds quite dodgy in English.â
BICP members said the play will also help residents socially distance.
âWeâre staging the play literally on the roof of the Heritage House,â cast member Jessie Catahoula said. âThe audienceâll sit outside, with chairs spaced out all around so people can see the play from every angle.
âThereâs a few little platforms installed for important scenes and staging, but most of the actionâll be smack on the tin sheeting,â Catahoula said. âIt adds an element of danger to the performance we think the audience will love.â
The cast includes:
Marina DeLow as Pauline
Gage Hoase as Angelo
Elena Havens as Monsieur Peyrolle
Alison Diesel as The Doctor
Lee Helm as Maggionari
Jessie Catahoula as Giuseppe
Jerrod Ephesians as The French Army
Payne Hanover as Various Angry Mobs
Cast members struggled to perform on the tilted surface.
âWe surrounded the house with mattresses during rehearsals, so many people were falling off,â Alison Diesel said. âMost got the hang of it, but weâre leaving the mattresses deployed for the show, just in case. If it rains, that metal gets slick as snot.
âAt one point, Lee Helm slipped was hanging on by just his fingers in the rain gutter,â Diesel said. âThere was some debate about whether we should save him or just let him fall. We ended up having Dermott add an extra mattress and letting gravity take its course.â
Some in the community questioned the choice of subject matter.
âDoris and them are making light of a serious public health situation,â Frank Maples said. âThis isnât what we need right now. Some light opera wouldâve been nice to take our minds off this constant pandemic nonsense. The island needs diversion, not depression.â
Others embraced the play.
âWe just love watching them rehearse every evening,â Chrissy Grasby said. âThey wanted to practice in private, but itâs on the roof, so they couldnât really stop us from gawking. It gives the little ones something to do outside, and they just love when actors fall.â
Blenny has high hopes for opening night.
âIt wonât be much of a surprise, with everyone having seen rehearsals, but the show will still go on,â she said. âWe just hope folksâll all come back and see the show sober. But what are the odds? Of the sober part.â
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The Blacktip Times 