Category Archives: Scuba Diving

January 1, 2016 · 2:34 pm

Blacktip Island Entrepreneur Repurposes Selfie Sticks As Safety Aids

selfie sticks

A prototype of Blacktip Island entrepreneur “Doc” Plank’s A Grand Eyes bamboo gauge extender. The device takes its inspiration from the ubiquitous selfie sticks.

 

Blacktip Island scuba manufacturer Bamboo You kicked off the new year Friday by unveiling its new line of repurposed selfie sticks designed to help older scuba divers better see their gauges underwater.

“As divers get older, their close-up vision goes to hell,” said Bamboo You founder Piers “Doc” Plank. “Gauges with bigger numbers can only do so much, no matter how far away the divers hold them.

“People keep joking they need longer arms,” Plank said. “Seeing everybody running around with these telescoping sticks, using them as gauge extenders was a no brainer.”

Marketed as A Grand Eyes, the sticks are made from locally-sourced bamboo.

“A Grand Eyes do so much more than address our customers’ presbyopia,” Bamboo You marketing director Christina Mojarra said. “Like all Bamboo You products, they’re 100 percent natural and made from a renewable island resource. They’re good for Blacktip and good for the planet.”

The new devices have already won the praises of dive professionals.

“We banned those damned camera sticks on all our boats a while back,” Eagle Ray Divers operations manager Ger Latner said. “People kept jamming them into the reef, and there were several unfortunate incidents when sticks got stuck in uncomfortable places on a rolling dive boat.

“Now, though, Doc found a way to turn them to a useful purpose,” Latner said. “We got a lot less divers going into deco because they can’t see their depth or time or nitrogen loading.”

Scuba divers who tested the sticks were impressed as well.

“I was about to give up diving,” said dive guest Buddy Brunnez. “This gizmo’s a game changer, though. Now I just zip my computer out as far as I need. And if my eyes get worse, well, I can zip the stick out farther.”

Some of the Caribbean island’s dive staff, however are dubious of the new devices.

“Whether it’s a camera or a gauge console on the end of the stick, they’re still a hazard,” Eagle Ray Divers divemaster Lee Helm said. “Divers are still bashing the reef, but this time under the guise of safety. It’s lipstick on a pig, really.”

Bamboo You officials remain unfazed by the criticism.

“With scuba diver demographics skewing older every year, A Grand Eyes are the wave of the future,” Mojarra said. “Divers can accessorize with extra long high pressure hoses to get gauge consoles as far away as they need to read the numbers.

“We’re marketing the sticks to island restaurants as menu extenders, too,” Mojarra said. “We expect this to be one of our best selling products, right up there with bamboo weights and nitrox snorkels.”

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December 11, 2015 · 10:39 am

Blacktip Island Plane Wreckage Could Be Amelia Earhart’s

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The Lockheed Electra’s broken wings rest upside down in the shallow waters off Blacktip Island’s northeast coast. Aviation experts say the airplane could be that of Amelia Earhart, who disappeared along with the plane in 1937.

Recreational scuba divers Wednesday discovered the remains of a 1930s twin-engine aircraft off Blacktip Island’s rugged northeast coast local authorities say could be that of famed aviatrix Amelia Earhart.

“The aircraft looks to have been a Lockheed Model 10 Electra,” said local aviation expert Whitney Pratt. “It was modified with a large fuel tank, and some of its windows were intentionally obscured.

“An Electra with those modifications fits the description of the one flown by Amelia Earhart on her unsuccessful attempt to circumnavigate the globe,” Pratt said. “There’s also the matter of the initials ‘A.E.’ scrawled on the fuselage.

“If it is Earhart’s plane, the big question is how it got here,” Pratt said. “She disappeared over the South Pacific.”

Marine scientists say the soft coral growing on the wreckage deepens the mystery.

“The wings have live carnation coral on them that’s indigenous to the southern Pacific ocean,” Tiperon University-Blacktip biologist Goby Graysby said. “We’re 5,000 miles from where any Dendronephthya should be. I can’t speak to the aircraft details, but yeah, there’s a South Pacific connection somewhere.”

The find has sparked talk of the so-called Blacktip Triangle where hundreds of boats and aircraft are reported to vanish, sometimes reappearing years later.

“All kinds of compass variations out there, you know,” longtime resident Antonio Fletcher said. “Space and time work different in the Triangle. Boats go missing. Lots of scuba divers get lost, too, but that’s something else. Bloody Marys, mostly.

“Plane could’ve crashed somewhere else and been transported here, like those Flight 19 bombers that got zapped to Kathmandu,” Fletcher said. “Happens all the time, you just don’t hear about it.”

Island officials are skeptical of the Blacktip Triangle theory.

“Most of those disappearances are exaggerated, or flat out made up,” Island Police Constable Rafe Marquette said. “Civil Aviation divers are examining the wreckage. If this is Miss Earhart’s airplane, there’s lots of non-supernatural explanations.

“If someone wanted to fake their death and disappear forever, transmitting a false position and then flying halfway around the world’d be a great way to do it,” Marquette said.

Blacktip Island community leaders, meanwhile, are drawing up plans for an interactive educational facility devoted to Earhart.

“We’re gonna soak visitors in what it was like to be Amelia Bedelia. I mean Earhart,” local entrepreneur Rich Skerritt said. “The centerpiece’ll be a life-sized mockup of that plane linked to a flight simulator so folks can have a feel what flying it was like. We’ll have shirts and caps and coffee mugs for sale, too.

“Our goal’s to make Blacktip Island the hottest destination in the Caribbean. Or the South Pacific,” Skerritt said. “You got to have a dream. If you don’t have a dream, how you gonna make a dream come true?”

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December 4, 2015 · 9:55 am

Blacktip Island University To Offer Ph.D.s In Divemastering

DM PhDs

Divemasters working on Blacktip Island’s dive boats will soon be able to earn their Doctorate of Scuba Diving at Tiperon University’s Blacktip campus.

 

Tiperon University-Blacktip officials announced Thursday the school will offer advanced degrees in divemastering when the winter semester begins next month.

Dubbed the ‘Ph. Dude’ by local dive professionals, the program will place less emphasis on pedagogy and more on scuba research, its creators said.

“Every divemaster has been trained to teach,” TU-B professor Ernesto Mojarra said. “Our studies will focus on the more cerebral aspects of divemastering that are too often overlooked. We’ll question why we dive and why that matters, with a goal of addressing the existential angst in the heart of every scuba diver.

“This being a scuba-based degree, doctoral dissertations will be written on underwater slates,” Mojarra said. “Oral exams and thesis defenses will be done underwater via an expanded series of hand signals we developed to convey the requisite nuances of thought.”

Island dive managers have embraced the program.

“Diving’s seeing that radical credential creep like everywhere else,” said Club Scuba Doo dive operations manager Finn Kiick. “Used to, you could blast through a DM course and jump on a boat. Now there’s wannabes with diplomas, even bachelor’s degrees.

“You don’t need the doctorate to do the job,” Kiick said. “But you totally need it to land the job.”

Industry analysts, however, aren’t as upbeat.

“It’s a status thing,” said Lou Luxfer president of the Dive Industry Coral Keepers. “Ops managers like to beat their chests about how highly trained their staffs are. They overlook whether customers are getting better supervision because of these advanced degrees.”

Local dive professionals echoed Luxfer’s concerns.

“It’s an empty piece of paper that doesn’t ensure diver safety,” said Eagle Ray Divers divemaster Lee Helm. “The university’s encouraging silly credentialism, and making a fortune in the process.

“The research and the dissertation require years of work,” Helm said. “With the uni collecting tuition and fees the whole time. There’s no way to pay off that sort of debt on a divemaster’s wages.”

TU-B’s Mojarra brushed those criticisms aside.

“Most of our candidates aim to work in academia,” Mojarra said. “Expensive? Sure. But what better way to break free of the dive bum lifestyle that traps so many people for decades? You divemaster for more than five years, people start looking at you funny. As well they should.”

NAUI, SSI and IANTD have approved the program for their dive leaders. PADI does not yet recognize the program’s accreditation, though the agency is working on a PADI-specific divemastering doctorate of its own.

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November 27, 2015 · 11:36 am

Blacktip Island Fishermen, Environmentalists Create Fish-Kill Zones

Fish_Conservation

If the planned fish-kill zones are approved, large stretches of Blacktip Island’s coast such as Spider Bight will be off-limits to scuba divers.

Blacktip Island’s fishermen and environmentalists this week formed an unlikely coalition aimed at safeguarding the Caribbean island’s critically-threatened Tiperon skunk bass population.

The skunk bass, the Tiperon Islands’ national fish, has become rare on island reefs due to overfishing and habitat destruction. The plan calls for the creation of no-dive zones where only fishing would be allowed.

“First we thought the bass’d stopped biting,” said fishing advocate Clete Horn. “Then we realized the bass left about the time the scuba diving industry took off. Divers come here from all over the world. They scare the fish and damage the coral.

“If there’s diving-only marine parks on the island, there should be fishing-only parks, too,” Horn said. “Get rid of the divers, the fish’ll come back. Then we can kill bass like we used to. And teach our kids how, so they can teach their kids.”

Many Blacktip residents were surprised when local environmentalists backed the concept.

“We can’t stop overfishing, so the hope is we can limit it to certain areas,” environmental activist Harry Pickett said. “It’s a compromise, but without the fishermen’s support, no conservation plan’s going to work.

“The theory’s if all the skunk bass are removed from one area, it’ll create a vacuum,” Pickett said. “Fish from other areas will move in to fill that void and encourage increased spawning in the protected areas. Sure, a lot of bass will be killed, but this way at least some of them have a chance.”

The Department of Fisheries officials, though skeptical, also back the plan.

“Skunk bass have zero protection now,” Fisheries spokesperson Reg Gurnard said. “Some protection’s better than no protection, right?

“Will it piss off some divers? Yeah. But it won’t keep them away. And it’s not like Clete and his buddies could ever fish the reefs clean.”

The plan has met stiff opposition among island entrepreneurs.

“Banning divers’ll kill our business,” Eagle Ray Divers operations manager Ger Latner said. “And divers won’t come here is there’s no fish to look at. If the dive industry goes under, what passes for an economy on Blacktip will go under, too.”

Fishermen are not swayed.

“These are Blacktip Island fish. They’re family,” said local angler Antonio Fletcher. “We know what’s best for them. Foreigners are welcome to come look at them, but not if it spoils our fishing.

“We’re fighting for our heritage,” Fletcher said. “We got to save these skunk bass from foreign influences so we can kill them. The fish, not the foreign influences.”

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November 13, 2015 · 5:07 am

Blacktip Island’s Sea Slug Roundup Sparks Controversy

Two head-shield sea slugs cavort in a kraal during last year’s catch and release Blacktip Island Sea Slug Rodeo.

Two head-shield sea slugs cavort in a kraal during last year’s catch and release Blacktip Island Sea Slug Rodeo.

A Blacktip Island fall tradition came under fire Wednesday when protestors occupied the beach where the two-day Blacktip Island Sea Slug Roundup is slated to launch this weekend.

“Our forefathers were farmers and fishermen,” said event organizer Led Waite. “Slugs were a threat to their fall seaweed crops and had to be culled from the shallow reefs.

“The roundup celebrates that heritage,” Waite said. “Those hippies with signs are just attention mongers. Last week they were all up in arms about development or some such nonsense.”

The protestors decried the roundup as inhumane.

“Forcing nudibranchs into those little pens isn’t natural,” said Harry Pickett, president of the local People for the Ethical Treatment of Slugs. “You get that much slime in that small an area, slugs suffer. Coral dies.

“The sea slug population’s just now bouncing back from near extinction,” Pickett added. “This so-called celebration jeopardizes that recovery process.”

Organizers refute those charges.

“The roundup’s been catch and release for years, and no slugs have ever been harmed,” Waite said. “Two goals of the event are to document sea slug numbers and preserve a viable breeding population. Harry knows that. He just likes saying ‘nudibranch’ in public.”

Local businesses are concerned about the protest’s economic impact.

“Guests plan their scuba vacations around the roundup,” Eagle Ray Divers operations manager Ger Latner said. “Dozens jump in on scuba to watch the action. It’s a gold mine in terms of gear rental and t-shirt sales.”

“It can be a bit tedious for the uninitiated,” said longtime dive guest Max Straap. “You can’t hurry slugs. But for the aficionado, it’s as riveting as a grand master chess match. “We got the kids certified when they were 10 just so they could see the herding first hand.”

Organizers, meanwhile, stressed the roundup’s eco-friendly nature.

“Slugs must be herded in the kraals under their own power,” Waite said. “We’re not having a repeat of last year’s fiasco where Lee Helm nudged head-shield slugs into the pen.”

“Lee’s an idiot,” slug wrangler Alison Diesel said. “Everybody down there has cameras. You scratch your butt, 20 people’ll put it on YouTube. And there’s Lee, flicking slugs across the sand like paper footballs.”

“That’s precisely the sort of cruelty we’re protesting,” Pickett said. “And the children’s greased sea cucumber roundup Saturday afternoon shows how that ignorance is being passed on to the next generation.”

The roundup winner will receive the coveted Golden Slimy Doris trophy. All proceeds go to the Blacktip Island Retired Seaman’s Guild.

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November 6, 2015 · 5:45 am

Blacktip Island Divemasters Launch Underwater Clogging Course

The first Underwater Clogging specialty course students practice their dance steps on shore Thursday before attempting them underwater later that afternoon. (Photo by Al Stephenson)

The first Underwater Clogging specialty course students practice their dance steps on shore Thursday before attempting them underwater later that afternoon. (Photo by Al Stephenson)

Inspired by underwater acrobatics at a recent heritage festival, Blacktip Island divemasters Gage Hoase and Alison Diesel have developed an underwater clog-dancing course they began teaching this week on the Caribbean island.

“It’s a traditional southeastern American dance style that tons of our scuba diving guests identify with,” Hoase said. “We pump bluegrass music through a hydrophone and we’ve got 30, 40 divers jigging under the boat in no time.

“The cool thing’s you don’t need prior dance experience,” Hoase said. “We start by teaching the steps on shore in slow motion, sort of like tai chi. Then we drop students in the shallows off Diddley’s Landing public pier for the real deal.”

Diesel noted the classes stress conservation and safety.

“We’re careful to practice in big sand patches so we don’t damage coral,” Diesel said. “All the stomping can kill the viz pretty quick, but students don’t seem to mind.

“The trick’s making sure you don’t step on stingrays in the murk,” Diesel said. “We had to send a woman to the clinic yesterday after she got spined in both feet. Barracuda are a worry, too, with all the thrashing the students do.”

Most resort diving guests are enthusiastic about the course.

“It reminds me of the county fair back home,” scuba diver Suzy Souccup said. “You don’t get that heartwarming clack of clogs hitting the wooden floor, of course, but they let you use tank bangers and underwater rattlers, so that gives the same effect. Sort of.”

Hoase and Diesel say their classes are already packed.

“The guest’ve really glommed onto the idea,” Diesel said. “We’re working up an underwater square dance course, too, and long term we’ll branch out into underwater Latin, hip hop, tap, ballroom and pole dancing courses.”

Not all diver guests are happy with the classes.

“I come to Blacktip Island to relax and look at fish,” said longtime Eagle Ray Divers guest Lou Luxfer. “Now I can’t get in the water without hearing that cat-gutting noise they call music, and you can’t see the fish through all the sand those yahoos kick up.”

Hoase isn’t daunted by the complaints.

“Sure, the clogging stirs up some sand, but the currents off Diddley’s takes most of the sediment over the wall,” Hoase said. “And we’re careful to run classes during non-peak times when there’s not a lot of other divers on the reef, like agency standards stipulate.”

The course is offered as a specialty through NAUI, PADI and SSI. Diesel also teaches a Solo Clogging course through IANTD, which bans use of bluegrass music.

“It’s an agency-specific thing, not a big deal,” Diesel said. “We separate the students from each other as far as we can and play Billy Idol’s ‘Dancing With Myself’ on the underwater speaker.”

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October 23, 2015 · 7:46 am

Blacktip Island Players To Perform “Waiting For Cousteau”

Divemaster Alison Diesel rests recumbent as the Imperial Japanese Navy cruiser Aikoku Maru during the dress rehearsal for Doris Blenny’s absurdist scuba drama, “Waiting For Cousteau.” (Photo courtesy of Woodym555)

Divemaster Alison Diesel rests recumbent as the Imperial Japanese Navy cruiser Aikoku Maru during the dress rehearsal for Doris Blenny’s absurdist scuba drama, “Waiting For Cousteau.” (Photo courtesy of Woodym555)

Absurdist scuba drama comes to Blacktip Island’s underwater theater Saturday with the Blacktip Community Players’ Fall Extravaganza “Waiting For Cousteau,” commemorating marine explorer Jacques Cousteau’s famous 1971 expedition to Truk Lagoon.

The play, written by B.C.P. artistic director Doris Blenny, blends ‘The Lagoon of Lost Ships’ episode of “The Undersea World of Jacques Cousteau,” which documented the exploration of the World War II-era Imperial Japanese fleet sunk at the South Pacific atoll, with Samuel Beckett’s “Waiting For Godot.”

“That show hooked a generation of scuba divers,” Blenny said. “Beckett hooked a generation of theater-goers. Combined, the two speak to a certain je ne sais quoi of time and place that is Blacktip Island.”

In Blenny’s play, the crew of Calypso waits in Truk Lagoon for Jacques Cousteau to arrive. A succession of messengers tells them Cousteau is coming, but he never does. Crewmembers pass the time studying fish, debating whether they’re seeing the same fish or merely similar fish, and whether they’ve had that conversation before.

“It’s art copying life for most of Blacktip’s residents,” Blenny said. “And, frankly, some of the guests.”

The play will be staged in 20 feet of water off Diddley’s Landing public pier in a model of Cousteau’s famous exploration ship, Calypso. Local divemasters will play Cousteau’s crew as well as the Japanese wrecks.

“It’s an awesome acting exercise,” said divemaster Alison Diesel, who plays the sunken auxiliary cruiser Aikoku Maru. “Any schmuck can lay there and say she’s a shipwreck, but for this, you have to tell a destroyer from a minesweeper just by the set of the actor’s shoulders. In full scuba gear, mind you.”

“The depth of talent on display here is stunning,” Blenny said. “Gage Hoase does the narration in an absolutely spot-on Rod Serling. And his prologue in Cousteau’s voice is uncanny.”

“Aft-air many days in the lagoon the Crew of Calypso became very lonely,” Hoase said as Cousteau. “Some even grew quite friendly with the booby birds populating the island.”

“Of course, on Blacktip the guests usually become friendly with the dive staff,” Hoase added, dropping out of character. “But it amounts to the same thing.”

All performers will use Aqua Lung regulators in honor of Cousteau’s invention.

The performance will be streamed live to televisions in the Sand Spit bar as well as on the B.C.P. website.

The Sand Spit will feature specials on rum-and-bourbon Shipwreck cocktails, French wine and Japanese sake. Red knit watch caps will be available for purchase before and after the calypso dance contest.

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October 2, 2015 · 9:04 am

Traffic Accidents Mount On Blacktip Island Reefs

Increased use of diver propulsion vehicles is causing traffic snarls on Blacktip Island dive sites. (photo courtesy of Matthew Hoelscher)

Increased use of diver propulsion vehicles is causing traffic snarls on Blacktip Island dive sites. (photo courtesy of Matthew Hoelscher)

Blacktip Island marine park officials are urging caution on the Caribbean island’s scuba dive sites after a spike in the number of accidents involving underwater diver propulsion vehicles.

“We’re victims of our own success,” said Eagle Ray Divers operations manager Ger Latner. “We’re teaching so many D.P.V. classes, it seems like everyone’s using scooters now.

“We tell students slow and steady’s the way to go with the scooters, but our guests never listen,” Latner said. “We’re seeing single- and multi-vehicle wrecks underwater about every day.”

The scooters also have many of the island’s scuba divers upset.

“Bunch of knuckleheads racing around is what they are,” diver Georgie Passaic said. “It’s just ZOOM and you’re blindsided by bubble trails and flapping fins. There’s even traffic jams on some of the sites.”

Officials say the problem is made worse by divers coming to Blacktip Island from different parts of the world.

“The Americans circle coral heads clockwise, whilst the Brits circle anti-clockwise,” Marine Parks spokesperson Val Schrader said. “And the Americans insist on using four-way stop right-of-way rules. The Brits use roundabout rules. The result is a right mess.”

Attempts to enforce underwater safety measures have been ineffective.

“The island constable’s jurisdiction ends at the shore,” Schrader said. “And we don’t have the personnel to patrol every dive site. We have plans for underwater traffic signals, but that’s a long way off.

“Meanwhile, the underwater wreckage is piling up,” Schrader said. “People just mash the accelerator and go. On some of the more popular reefs you can’t see the coral for the debris.”

Local dive professionals bristled at criticism they’re to blame for the situation.

“We crack down on scooter use, that takes beer from our mouths,” Club Scuba Doo dive operations manager Finn Kiick said. “People pay top dollar for D.P.V. courses and rental. We about went out of business last week when we banned scooters completely.”

Other industry insiders insist underwater scooters are here to stay.

“These D.P.V.s are a boon,” Eagle Ray Divers’ Latner said. “All the wrecked scooters out there mean we’re teaching more Wreck Diving courses, more Search and Recovery courses and more First Aid courses. We even have instructors working up Underwater Traffic Routing course outlines for NAUI, PADI and SSI.”

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September 18, 2015 · 7:24 am

Blacktip Island Tourist Harvest Slated For Saturday

Blacktip Island residents will get to strip cash from running tourists Saturday as part of the Caribbean island’s annual Equinox Fest, celebrating the autumnal equinox.

Blacktip Island residents will get to strip cash from running tourists Saturday as part of the Caribbean island’s annual Equinox Fest, celebrating the autumnal equinox.

Blacktip Island’s annual Equinox Fest will kick off Saturday morning at Diddley’s Landing public pier. The traditional harvest festival, sponsored by the island’s Zoroastrian Council, marks the day when sunlight and darkness are of equal length.

“Astrologically, the equinox isn’t until the 23rd,” said Zoroastrian Council president Autumn Zenith, “but when you factor in the refracted pre-dawn and post-dusk light, the exact balance falls on the 19th.

“Plus, having the Fest on a Saturday lets everyone get in on the action,” Zenith said.

The event will feature food, drink and games celebrating the balance of light and darkness.

“We’ve scheduled tightrope walkers, a chess tournament, unicycle races and meditation contests,” Zenith said. “We’ll also have swings and see-saws for the kids. And of course there’ll be the rum tents serving local light and dark rums.”

The highlight of the festival, as always, will be the Harvesting of the Tourists.

“Like Oktoberfest, this festival dates back centuries,” Agriculture Ministry spokesperson Pomona Ceres said. “This is the time of year Blacktippers used to sell their harvests. With the rise of tourism, though, we learned to harvest cash directly from island visitors.”

For the Harvesting, guests cover themselves in $1 bills and run down the island’s street in full scuba gear while locals snatch money off of them.

“Participation’s 100 percent volunteer, and most tourists are delighted to participate,” Ceres said. “We provide them all with free rum before the run and free t-shirts after. The rum’s the clincher, I suspect.

“We also have a separate children’s Harvest, with some of our heavier guests shuffling along slow enough for the kids to grab some cash,” Ceres added. “It’s often the big-money event, given the size of some of our island’s scuba diving visitors and how many dollar bills it takes to cover them.”

“The Harvesting can get brutal,” island divemaster Hugh Calloway said. “Last year a guy tripped on his fins and face planted. People were on him like ducks on a June bug. They snagged his cash, his shorts, this Rolex, everything.”

The Island Psychiatric Association will offer free mental health screenings throughout the festival.

“There are more unbalanced people per capita on this island than anywhere in the world,” I.P.A. president Elysia Fromm said. “And doling out free rum is throwing petrol on a bonfire.

“It’s job security for association members, though, so we do try to celebrate balance in our own way,” Fromm said. “And we’re not about to miss out on grabbing free cash.”

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September 11, 2015 · 7:37 am

Stolen Scuba Gadgets Have Blacktip Island Cops Baffled

Blacktip Island scuba divers have been hit with a spate of daring mid-dive robberies while enjoying the Caribbean island’s reefs.

Blacktip Island scuba divers have been hit with a spate of daring mid-dive robberies while enjoying the Caribbean island’s reefs.

Blacktip Island authorities are currently investigating a string of thefts from scuba diving guests on the small Caribbean island.

“We’d normally classify this as a prank since all the missing gear is essentially useless,” Island Police Constable Rafe Marquette said. “Underwater noisemakers, ankle weights, aluminum pointer sticks. Even a set of nitrox dive tables.

“But they’re being stolen in broad daylight,” Marquette said. “That speaks to a certain audacity on the part of the thief. This morning a gentleman had a tank banger stolen mid-dive, and there’s evidence a knife was used. That’s assault.”

Blacktip Island business leaders are especially concerned.

“We have to nip this nonsense in the bud before divers start cancelling their trips,” Eagle Ray Cove resort owner Rich Skerritt said. “I don’t care how silly the gizmos are, people have a right to dive with them. And our dive shop’s sold out of tank bangers.”

Speculation about the culprit is rampant.

“It’s got to be a local with an ax to grind,” Sandy Bottoms’ Beach Resort general manager Kay Valve said. “This island’s chock-full of crazies. It could be anyone, really.

“My money’s on a rogue divemaster,” Valve said. “These are the gadgets that drive DMs bug-nutty.”

Some guests, however, suspect a commercial motive.

“The resorts are making a fortune off this business,” said Eagle Ray Cove dive guest Buddy Brunnez. “When my fish ID slates disappeared, first thing I did was buy another set. Then they got swiped. I’ve bought three sets this week. And my wife’s on her fourth dry snorkel.”

The island’s dive staffs are less concerned.

“Whoever’s kyping the stuff is doing a public service,” Eagle Ray Divers divemaster Marina DeLow said. “She – or he – deserves a medal.

“All the Inspector Gadget crap people strap to themselves is a pain on the boat and a pain during dives. We’re having a bonfire party tonight to show our support.”

Police are warning divers to remain vigilant.

“This is our biggest crime spree since the bar tunnel-in of 2009,” Marquette said. “We’re dealing with an armed, potentially unstable individual here.”

Dive guests are taking the constable’s warning to heart.

“I’m sleeping with my Crocodile Dundee dive knife under my pillow,” Brunnez said. “No way some joker’s getting that. And my wife’s wearing her split fins to bed every night, too. Just to be safe.”

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