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The Blacktip Island Theosophy Society’s Ouija board will be the center of attention early Sunday morning, when participants will attempt to bring one of the island’s early leaders back from the dead. (photo courtesy of Jerrod Ephesians/the Blacktip Island Theosophy Society)

The Blacktip Island Theosophy Society will host an Easter séance to call back from the dead one of the small Caribbean island’s earliest settlers with the goal of reconnecting to the community’s founding values.

“We’ve gotten so disconnected from Blacktip’s original principles,” the former reverend Jerrod Ephesians, head of the island’s Ecumenical Council, said. “There’s less and less binding us together as a community. People work, drink, then pass out with so little sense of purpose.

“That’s where bringing Lumpy Bottoms back comes in.” Ephesians said. “Lumpy was one of Blacktip’s original settlers back in 17-whatever, and the patriarch of the Bottoms clan. With his guidance the island population prospered and grew. We have no idea what that guidance was, so we thought we’d ask.”

Island historians agreed.

“Lumpy was our first mayor,” Leigh Shore said. “This is the perfect opportunity to reconnect with that old-time way of life. We’ll get suggestions on what we need to do to regain the heart and soul of our community straight from the horse’s mouth, so to speak.

“We’ll gather at midnight Easter morning when the vibes are strongest and settle in around the Ouija board,” Shore said. “The board’s fairly small, so only a few people will actually be touching the planchette, but we’re setting up extra chairs for spectators—all are welcome—and they can touch us. Then there’ll be plenty of time to go to the Easter sunrise service down the road, for those so inclined.”

Blacktip’s religious community denounced the plan.

“This sort of pagan quackery is totally inappropriate, especially on Easter,” the Reverend Pierre Grunt of the Blacktip Island Interdenominational Church said. “We’re talking about one of the most revered days on the Christian calendar being undermined by mumbo-jumbo that chips away at peoples’ faith. What’s next, a hunt for liquor-filled Easter eggs in the church? Jerrod’s lot may find this humorous, but some of us find it deeply offensive.”

Ephesians challenged that criticism.

“Pierre needs to chill. We’re doing this at midnight so it won’t interfere with Easter services,” he said. “Easter’s a powerful day, with all sorts of spiritual, psychic energy flowing. This is our best window to bring Lumpy back.

“And we’re making that energy accessible to everyone, not just church-goers,” Ephesians said. “Non-Christians often feel left out on holidays like this. It’s a positive thing, aimed at benefitting the entire community. It’s not like we’re calling back Jack the Ripper or Stalin.”

The séance will take place in the Theosophy Society’s great room. Participants are encouraged to arrive early and to dress warmly.