Sunday, July 24, 2022
Temperature: 95
Humidity: 78%
Precipitation: Zero chance
Tag Archives: humor
Blacktip Island Braces For The Running Of The Skeeters
Dozens of nude Blacktip Island residents will brave swarms of voracious mosquitos at dusk Saturday in the small Caribbean island’s annual Running of the Skeeters, celebrating summer on the island. (photo courtesy of James Gathany)
Blacktip Island residents this week stocked up on running shoes and cortisone cream in preparation for Saturday’s 23rd annual Running of the Skeeters, celebrating the height of summer, when dozens of residents will sprint nude down a jungle trail at dusk when the island’s mosquitos swarm the thickest.
“Started years ago as a drunken dare, and it’s grown every year since,” RotS organizer Wade Soote said. “The aim is to run from the west coast road, down an overgrown path through the mangroves 100 yards to the beach, then race back out, wearing only shoes or boots.
“It’s become a rite of passage for locals, a way to surrender yourself to the island, and for the island to accept you,” Soote said. “Everybody does it at least once. Some folks do it every year. It’s like a blood sacrifice to the island gods.”
Runners echoes that sentiment.
“It tests your fortitude. Your resolve to live here,” Corie Anders said. “Anybody can come to Blacktip and sit in the air conditioning. Or just go out midday, when the mozzies aren’t feeding. But to be a real Blacktipper, you need to get well-bitten, like our pre-air con ancestors did.
“The secret’s to keep moving—they don’t bite you too much until you stop, usually on the beach or at the road,” Anders said. “Hydrate beforehand and wear good running shoes – you fall, they’ll suck you dry, and no one will stop to help you.”
Some residents voiced concerns about the event.
“They make ‘No Malaria, No Worries’ t-shirts for the runners, to make light of it,” Vera Cuda said. “But that’s ingenuous, at best. Blacktip may not have malaria, but the region has dengue, yellow fever, zika, chikungunya and elephantiasis circulating all around us. It’s utterly irresponsible to purposely get bitten by mosquitos and potentially spread those deadly diseases.”
Island health authorities are prepared for the uptick in bites.
“I’ll be ready at the clinic with cortisone, Benadryl and epi-pens,” island nurse Marissa Graysby said. “And most of the bars will be offering discounted rum for all runners, to help ease the pain. I won’t be on site, of course. If people want to get bug bit, that’s their affair. I’ll be comfortable inside away from the mosquitos.”
Most runners brushed aside concerns.
“Getting bit 80, 100 times, it helps build your immunity to mosquito saliva and to whatever viruses they carry,” Jack Cobia said. “Sure, you feel like a human pincushion, but after the first few minutes, you start to kind of like it.”
“We encourage first-time runners, and’ll give them any pointers we can,” Cobia said. “And nobody’s ogling each other—folks’re running too fast, and swatting too wildly. And it’s not cheating to rub DEET over your sensitive parts.”
Filed under best scuba diving novels, Caribbean, Scuba Diving
Iguana Pox Forces Blacktip Island Divemasters To Work Remotely
Eagle Ray Cove divemasters deploy one of the surveillance drones used to monitor scuba diving guests, allowing dive staff to work remotely to combat a surge in iguana pox cases on Blacktip Island. (photo courtesy of Eagle Ray Cove)
Due to an uptick in iguana pox cases on Blacktip Island, the small Caribbean island’s dive operations have implemented a plan for divemasters to lead and supervise dives remotely to avoid acquiring, or transmitting, the virus.
“We had so many folks getting the pox, we almost had to shut down,” Eagle Ray Divers operations manager Ger Latner said. “We were in a bind ‘til Alison Diesel came up with the idea of using underwater drones to keep an eye on divers from the comfort of her apartment. We also have captains driving our boats remotely from home, so there’s no direct interaction with guests at all.
“We tried using reef cameras, but after a couple of out-of-air incidents, realized we needed the mobility drones provide,” Latner said. “We can follow problem divers, block their path if they’re about to do something stupid and, as a last resort, yell at them through an underwater speaker.”
Other resorts have followed Eagle Ray Divers’ lead.
“The drone thing rocks,” Club Scuba Doo’s dive manager Finn Kiick said. “All our video game skills are totally paying off. We rigged drones with big-ass hooks so we can snag yahoos going too deep or trashing coral and drag them back to safety.
“It also means our DMs can work with zero chance of getting bent or blowing an eardrum,” Kiick said. “The only in-person work we do is filling the tanks, and we do that at night when no guests are around.”
Some dive staff, though, were not happy with the new procedures.
“Can’t really show guests cool sea critters with a drone,” Blacktip Haven divemaster Booger Bottoms said. “Tried to point out a sea slug yesterday and like to took out a whole coral head. Even talking to guests while you guide them scares the fish.
“Makes it hard to teach students, too,” Bottoms said. “‘Til this virus wave passes, we just have ‘em watch videos and hope for the best. If they’re strong, they’ll survive.”
Others worried about diver safety.
“The big worry’s there’ll be an accident we can’t really respond to,” Eagle Ray Divers divemaster Marina DeLow said. “You can’t supervise 20-plus divers with one drone, even a fast one. And if anybody gets hurt, all we can do is call the clinic. And, more importantly, not being on the boat in person really cuts into your tips.”
Latner said guest response to the initiative has been generally positive.
“Folks seem to like being on their own,” he said. “They also get an ego boost when they realize they have darker tans than any of our staff.”
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Blacktip Island Weather
Sunday, July 10, 2022
Temperature: 93
Humidity: 78%
Precipitation: No chance
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Blacktip Island Restauranteurs Launch Underwater Food Carts
Rusty Goby delivers an order of fish tacos to scuba divers on Blacktip Island’s Jawfish Reef Thursday. The small Caribbean island’s divers now have the option of mid-dive dining thanks to restauranteurs selling small meals delivered via diver propelled vehicles. (photo courtesy of Wreckdiver08)
A group of Blacktip Island restaurant professionals banded together this week to bring the popular food cart concept to hungry scuba divers underwater on Blacktip Island’s reefs.
“Food carts are all the rage, and we figured why not make the logical jump to have carts catering to scuba divers while they dive?” Blacktip Haven chef Jessie Catahoula said. “Each of us has our own themed specialty, and in place of vans, we use underwater scooters to deliver pre-cooked meals.
“Obviously, we can’t cook underwater, but we’re using Zip-Loc baggies to keep the pre-cooked meals dry,” Catahoula said. “The plan is to eventually put meals in sealed, squeezable bags with straws, like the astronauts use. We’re already using commercially-produced boxed juices.”
Local retailers have seized on the idea.
“Divers have to pay by tapping their credit card on the payment gizmo, so we came up with waterproof gizmo housings,” scuba retailer Bamboo You owner Piers ‘Doc’ Plank said. “Problem was, people kept having their cards float off mid dive without realizing it. That’s when we introduced the underwater credit card holder that straps on your wrist. Now divers can charge underwater to their heart’s content and not have to worry about losing their cards.”
Divers raved about the variety of offerings.
“Jessie’s rogan josh was great,” Sally Port said. “So was Cori’s callaloo. Sure, it’s all gooshy and puréed so it squirts out of the bags better, but it has all the flavor of regular food. It makes the perfect mid-dive snack. The only negative experience I’ve had was the Yorkshire pudding was way too lumpy.”
Environmentalists, however, worry about the meals’ effect on the reefs.
“What happens to all those empty pouches after divers finish their meals?” marine science professor Goby Graysby said. “This’ll create more underwater pollution and kill coral. Also, what’s to stop people from feeding fish? Liquified tacos al pastor can’t be good for grouper. We spent so long getting people to stop feeding fish canned cheese, now this.”
Others worry about diver safety concerns.
“What if a diver has their reg out to eat and swallows at the wrong time?” Eagle Ray Divers operations manager Ger Latner said. “Or when someone aspirates their lasagna at 80 feet? We actively discourage divers from buying from the carts, but we can’t stop them. Or the vendors. Someone’s gonna get hurt, though. Or worse. Just this morning we had to rescue a guy who got his reg clogged with lo mien.”
Catahoula said the problems would work themselves out.
“We have faith the divers can walk and chew gum at the same time, figuratively,” she said. “They have to take personal responsibility and figure it out for themselves—we’re not gonna be down there spoon feeding them. This is the cutting edge of a new frontier in dining.”
Filed under best scuba diving novels, Caribbean, Scuba Diving
Blacktip Island Weather
Sunday, June 26, 2022
Temperature: 88
Humidity: 68%
Precipitation: Not happening
Filed under best scuba diving novels, Caribbean, Scuba Diving
Blacktip Island Scientists Plan Cowboy-Style Grouper Roundup
Blacktip Island ichthyologists this week are building a giant corral out of fish nets to hold all the small Caribbean island’s Nassau grouper, which they plan to round up next week for tracking and study. (photo courtesy of W. Carter)
A group of Blacktip Island marine scientists Thursday announced they will stage a Wild West-themed Nassau grouper roundup next week so they can implant location transponders in as many of the fish as possible to track their movements and behaviors.
“We’ve been randomly tagging Nassaus for years, but it doesn’t give us an accurate picture of their habits,” Tiperon University-Blacktip marine science professor Goby Graysby said. “Rather than continuing all higgledy-piggledy, our plan is to round up every grouper on the island in one big pen so we can stick ‘em all.
“It’s a big project, and we’ll need every volunteer diver we can get,” Graysby said. “To encourage participation, we decided to model it after an Old West cattle drive. Without the horses and lassos, of course. But we will have divers, some on underwater scooters, herding the groupers into a big net enclosure just out from the public pier. Then we can tag them all at one time.”
Organizers expect the roundup to be a multi-day affair.
“Blacktip’s a small enough island, it’s likely we can get almost all the Nassaus,” Ginger Bass said. “Thing is, it’s also big enough it’ll likely take us several days to get all the fish corraled and tagged. Weeks, even, depending on the number of herders we get.
“We’ll have our aqua-buckaroos working ‘round the clock, and sleeping on boats,” Bass said. “There’ll be a chuckwagon-style pontoon boat bringing meals to herders so they don’t waste time going home and cooking dinner. If this works out like we think it will, this could be the new standard for fish tagging worldwide.”
Island environmentalists, however, opposed the plan.
“Why do they need every Nassau to have a transponder?” ecologist Harry Pickett said. “They can’t study the grouper without terrorizing them? In a marine park. And what about the other reef creatures they’ll traumatize? And the coral they’ll damage?
“This central net-corral they’ve installed is anchored in living reef and will cause irreparable damage,” Pickett said. “And once they release the grouper, what guarantee is there the fish will go back to the section of reef they came from? They might just stay there, and there’d be no groupers anywhere else on the island.”
Organizers remained optimistic.
“We’ll have contests as we go along, to keep volunteer fis-pokes engaged,” Graysby said. “We’ll have time trials, where individual divers compete to see who can round up and tag a grouper the fastest. Like an underwater rodeo. This could become the Tiperons’ national sport. Maybe even get in the Olympics when we host them.
“We also encourage all participants to dress in Western-themed scuba gear,” Graysby said. “We’ve seen some nice neoprene cowboy hats and vests already. And rumor has it several folks’ll be turning up in leather chaps.”
Participants will receive free meals during the roundup, and ‘Grouper Wrangler’ t-shirts afterwards.
Filed under best scuba diving novels, Caribbean, Scuba Diving
Blacktip Island Weather
Sunday, June 19, 2022
Temperature: 85
Humidity: 61%
Precipitation: On the way
Filed under best scuba diving novels, Caribbean, Scuba Diving
The Blacktip Times 