Tag Archives: humor
Blacktip Island Weather

Sunday, July 10, 2022
Temperature: 93
Humidity: 78%
Precipitation: No chance
Filed under best scuba diving novels, Caribbean, Scuba Diving
Blacktip Island Restauranteurs Launch Underwater Food Carts

Rusty Goby delivers an order of fish tacos to scuba divers on Blacktip Island’s Jawfish Reef Thursday. The small Caribbean island’s divers now have the option of mid-dive dining thanks to restauranteurs selling small meals delivered via diver propelled vehicles. (photo courtesy of Wreckdiver08)
A group of Blacktip Island restaurant professionals banded together this week to bring the popular food cart concept to hungry scuba divers underwater on Blacktip Island’s reefs.
“Food carts are all the rage, and we figured why not make the logical jump to have carts catering to scuba divers while they dive?” Blacktip Haven chef Jessie Catahoula said. “Each of us has our own themed specialty, and in place of vans, we use underwater scooters to deliver pre-cooked meals.
“Obviously, we can’t cook underwater, but we’re using Zip-Loc baggies to keep the pre-cooked meals dry,” Catahoula said. “The plan is to eventually put meals in sealed, squeezable bags with straws, like the astronauts use. We’re already using commercially-produced boxed juices.”
Local retailers have seized on the idea.
“Divers have to pay by tapping their credit card on the payment gizmo, so we came up with waterproof gizmo housings,” scuba retailer Bamboo You owner Piers ‘Doc’ Plank said. “Problem was, people kept having their cards float off mid dive without realizing it. That’s when we introduced the underwater credit card holder that straps on your wrist. Now divers can charge underwater to their heart’s content and not have to worry about losing their cards.”
Divers raved about the variety of offerings.
“Jessie’s rogan josh was great,” Sally Port said. “So was Cori’s callaloo. Sure, it’s all gooshy and puréed so it squirts out of the bags better, but it has all the flavor of regular food. It makes the perfect mid-dive snack. The only negative experience I’ve had was the Yorkshire pudding was way too lumpy.”
Environmentalists, however, worry about the meals’ effect on the reefs.
“What happens to all those empty pouches after divers finish their meals?” marine science professor Goby Graysby said. “This’ll create more underwater pollution and kill coral. Also, what’s to stop people from feeding fish? Liquified tacos al pastor can’t be good for grouper. We spent so long getting people to stop feeding fish canned cheese, now this.”
Others worry about diver safety concerns.
“What if a diver has their reg out to eat and swallows at the wrong time?” Eagle Ray Divers operations manager Ger Latner said. “Or when someone aspirates their lasagna at 80 feet? We actively discourage divers from buying from the carts, but we can’t stop them. Or the vendors. Someone’s gonna get hurt, though. Or worse. Just this morning we had to rescue a guy who got his reg clogged with lo mien.”
Catahoula said the problems would work themselves out.
“We have faith the divers can walk and chew gum at the same time, figuratively,” she said. “They have to take personal responsibility and figure it out for themselves—we’re not gonna be down there spoon feeding them. This is the cutting edge of a new frontier in dining.”
Filed under best scuba diving novels, Caribbean, Scuba Diving
Blacktip Island Weather

Sunday, June 26, 2022
Temperature: 88
Humidity: 68%
Precipitation: Not happening
Filed under best scuba diving novels, Caribbean, Scuba Diving
Blacktip Island Scientists Plan Cowboy-Style Grouper Roundup

Blacktip Island ichthyologists this week are building a giant corral out of fish nets to hold all the small Caribbean island’s Nassau grouper, which they plan to round up next week for tracking and study. (photo courtesy of W. Carter)
A group of Blacktip Island marine scientists Thursday announced they will stage a Wild West-themed Nassau grouper roundup next week so they can implant location transponders in as many of the fish as possible to track their movements and behaviors.
“We’ve been randomly tagging Nassaus for years, but it doesn’t give us an accurate picture of their habits,” Tiperon University-Blacktip marine science professor Goby Graysby said. “Rather than continuing all higgledy-piggledy, our plan is to round up every grouper on the island in one big pen so we can stick ‘em all.
“It’s a big project, and we’ll need every volunteer diver we can get,” Graysby said. “To encourage participation, we decided to model it after an Old West cattle drive. Without the horses and lassos, of course. But we will have divers, some on underwater scooters, herding the groupers into a big net enclosure just out from the public pier. Then we can tag them all at one time.”
Organizers expect the roundup to be a multi-day affair.
“Blacktip’s a small enough island, it’s likely we can get almost all the Nassaus,” Ginger Bass said. “Thing is, it’s also big enough it’ll likely take us several days to get all the fish corraled and tagged. Weeks, even, depending on the number of herders we get.
“We’ll have our aqua-buckaroos working ‘round the clock, and sleeping on boats,” Bass said. “There’ll be a chuckwagon-style pontoon boat bringing meals to herders so they don’t waste time going home and cooking dinner. If this works out like we think it will, this could be the new standard for fish tagging worldwide.”
Island environmentalists, however, opposed the plan.
“Why do they need every Nassau to have a transponder?” ecologist Harry Pickett said. “They can’t study the grouper without terrorizing them? In a marine park. And what about the other reef creatures they’ll traumatize? And the coral they’ll damage?
“This central net-corral they’ve installed is anchored in living reef and will cause irreparable damage,” Pickett said. “And once they release the grouper, what guarantee is there the fish will go back to the section of reef they came from? They might just stay there, and there’d be no groupers anywhere else on the island.”
Organizers remained optimistic.
“We’ll have contests as we go along, to keep volunteer fis-pokes engaged,” Graysby said. “We’ll have time trials, where individual divers compete to see who can round up and tag a grouper the fastest. Like an underwater rodeo. This could become the Tiperons’ national sport. Maybe even get in the Olympics when we host them.
“We also encourage all participants to dress in Western-themed scuba gear,” Graysby said. “We’ve seen some nice neoprene cowboy hats and vests already. And rumor has it several folks’ll be turning up in leather chaps.”
Participants will receive free meals during the roundup, and ‘Grouper Wrangler’ t-shirts afterwards.
Filed under best scuba diving novels, Caribbean, Scuba Diving
Blacktip Island Weather

Sunday, June 19, 2022
Temperature: 85
Humidity: 61%
Precipitation: On the way
Filed under best scuba diving novels, Caribbean, Scuba Diving
Blacktip Island Weather

Sunday, June 12, 2022
Temperature: 89
Humidity: 63%
Precipitation: Tomorrow, maybe
Filed under best scuba diving novels, Caribbean, Scuba Diving




