Tag Archives: Drunk driving

Pedestrian Bridge To Protect Blacktip Island Drunks

drunk overpass

One of multiple chutes erected outside Blacktip Island’s Sand Spit bar to funnel drunken bar patrons onto a pedestrian overpass over the island’s road. (photo courtesy of Dash Goby)

A Blacktip Island bar owner, concerned about a spate of near-accidents outside the Sand Spit bar, this week installed a pedestrians-only overpass to get drunk patrons to their vehicles safely.

“Customers were getting clipped crossing the road, walking into passing cars, you name it,” Sand Spit owner Dash Goby said. “Our customers get run over, we’ll be out of business in no time. I had to do something.

“The answer was a footbridge over the road, like those wildlife crossing over highways,” Goby said. “A bunch of waist-high walls funnel people from the bar doors out to the bridge, then over to the car park. We tried a tunnel a few years back, but people kept going in there and passing out. And peeing. And barfing. It made things worse, really.”

Sand Spit patrons applauded the move.

“You don’t even notice you’re using it,” James Conlee said. “It slopes up, then back down so gentle you don’t know if it’s a bridge or what you’ve been drinking.

“Got eight-foot-high walls up top, so you can’t fall off, and they’re slick, so they don’t scuff you up so bad,” Conlee said. “And there’s lights every 20 feet so you don’t get lost. Stagger out the bar, and next thing you know, you’re at your car.”

The overpass has alarmed others in the community.

“How about not letting drunks drive?” Lucille Ray said. “Maybe take their car keys, or, I don’t know, don’t over serve them. It’s already not safe to be on the road after dark, and here’s Dash making matters worse.”

Goby was quick to defend the overpass.

“I’m keeping people alive and safe, period,” he said. “What they do across the road is their business. Hell, most of them pass out in their cars anyway.

“And on Blacktip everyone leaves their keys in the ignition,” Goby said. “People on this island drink. A lot. I can’t change that. I’m just helping them do it safely.”

The island’s police had mixed feelings about the overpass.

“It’s not adding to the drunk driving problem. These people are going to do that anyway, bridge or no,” Island Police Constable Rafe Marquette said. “If it keeps drunks from being hit by cars, that’s a good thing.

“It’s not ideal, but it’s a step in the right direction,” Marquette said. “This is a ‘when a donkey flies, you don’t fault it for not staying up too long’ situation. And I’m working with Dash on building similar chutes to funnel drunk drivers to the police station. Or at least away from the booby pond. There’s been way too many one-car accidents lately.”

Advertisements

Leave a comment

Filed under Caribbean

Drunks Against Mad Mothers Launches Blacktip Island Chapter

P2010847.JPG – Version 4

Blacktip Island’s drinkers have banded together to form a chapter of Drunks Against Mad Mothers in response to a grassroots campaign to curb drinking on the island. (photo courtesy of Dermott Bottoms)

The international alcohol-rights group Drunks Against Mad Mothers (DAMM) announced Thursday it had established its newest chapter on Blacktip Island to protect the drinking habits of the Caribbean island’s residents.

“Lots of folks criticizing, trying to close bars early and stop liquor sales,” said DAMM chapter president Dermott Bottoms. “But we got a right to drink as much as we want, so long as no one gets hurt too badly.

“This’s a drinking island, you know,” Bottoms said. “You don’t hold with drinking, go somewhere else. We were gonna strike, then ‘Tonio found out about DAMM.”

Other DAMM members agreed.

“We’re not the bad guys. And we were here first,” DAMM vice president James Conlee said. “This’s us protecting ourselves against the tyranny of the masses. And the Baptists. International drunks got our backs now. We’re an organization.”

The chapter was founded after a campaign to curb the island’s often-excessive drinking culture.

“People on Blacktip get hammered,” divemaster Alison Diesel said. “It’s pretty much the Island sport, and mostly it gets a pass. But there was a string of single-vehicle accidents in front of resorts, tourists freaked out and it got ugly on TripAdvisor.

“It would’ve blown over, but then Dermott and Antonio both dropped trou at the Prime Minister’s welcoming cocktail soiree,” Diesel said. “Next thing you know, there’s a push to get everyone on the wagon.”

Island leaders say they sought a compromise with local drinkers.

“We weren’t proposing an all-out alcohol ban,” said the Reverend Pierre Grunt, Blacktip Island Temperance Society president. “The aim was to rachet consumption back to reasonable, non-embarrassing levels and enforce public drunkenness laws. We were making progress, too, before they came up with this DAMM nonsense.

“Case in point, this past Sunday morning Dermott and James both came to church,” Grunt said. “That was huge. Of course, I wish they’d been sober. And that Dermot hadn’t fallen asleep. And snored. I won’t discuss James’ flatulence.”

Island law enforcement, meanwhile, has stayed above the fray.

“I can’t arrest every public drunk,” Island Police Constable Rafe Marquette said. “Fridays and Saturdays, I’d have to arrest most of the island. And I only have the one cell.

“Drunk drivers will still be arrested,” Marquette said. “But there’s only one of me, and lots of them. My advice, as ever, is not to drive if you’ve consumed alcohol. But when you do, please avoid trees, pedestrians and the booby pond.”

DAMM members say they hope to change the public perception of them as irresponsible alcoholics.

“It’s not right, folks calling us alcoholics,” Bottoms said. “We’re not alcoholics. Alcoholics go to meetings. We’re drunks. We go to parties.”

1 Comment

Filed under Caribbean