Tag Archives: coral reefs

August 8, 2014 · 7:45 am

Locals To Shelter-On-Scuba For Meteor Shower

A university scientist warns this year’s Perseid meteor shower will rain destruction on Blacktip Island.

A university scientist warns this year’s Perseid meteor shower could turn Blacktip Island into a cratered wasteland.

Blacktip Island residents are urged to seek shelter during the height of this week’s Perseid meteor shower, predicted to strike the Caribbean island from 11:17 pm – 2:43 am the night of August 11-12.

“Blacktip will be at the absolute bull’s eye for this year’s Perseid event,” said Tiperon University-Blacktip professor Ernesto Mojarra. “We’ll experience one of the most projectile-intense passes in recent history.

“By Tuesday morning this place could look like a World War I battlefield.”

Many locals plan to shelter in place underwater on the island’s coral reefs for the shower’s most intense period.

“That hurricane shelter smells of feet, and the tin roof barely stops rain,” island resident Lee Helm said. “No way it’ll stand up to meteors. Me? I’m riding it out on scuba.”

“Your average meteor is only deadly to about 18-20 feet in seawater,” TU-B’s Mojarra said. “After that it’s just a cold rock dropping a few feet per second.

“We’re telling folks the best depth for survival is in the 20-30 foot range. That gives the ideal balance between safety from meteors and prolonging one’s air supply.”

“All our rental gear’s spoken for,” Eagle Ray Divers’ owner Rich Skerritt said. “Regulators, tanks, everything. Some folks are reserving two, three cylinders just to be safe.

“We’ll have dive boats available, too, to take folks to the deeper reefs. For an additional fee, of course. Pricey? Sure. But, hey, what’s your life worth?”

Other resort operators are skeptical.

“We’ve set up chairs on our beach so people can watch, and will have complimentary Kevlar umbrellas, but that’s about it,” Club Scuba Doo manager Polly Parrett said. “The way some people are reacting, you’d think the sky was falling. And I suppose it is. But not in a bad way.

“Is it coincidence Ernie’s got a ton of money invested in Eagle Ray Divers? I think not.”

“The Chicken Little story has its basis in fact,” Mojarra said. “This sort of catastrophe’s happened before. And’ll happen again. We can’t just bury our heads in the sand.”

Eagle Ray Divers will offer NAUI, PADI and SSI Meteor Diver distinctive specialty courses for those who shelter on the reefs.

“This is a unique opportunity, despite the danger,” Eagle Ray Divers’ Skerritt said. “Folks are crazy if they don’t take advantage of it. This is a cert card none of their friends’ll have.”

“How often do you get to say, ‘meteors rained down on me and I survived’?” Mojarra said. “And with luck, divers will find spent meteorites on the reef to keep as souvenirs. That’s priceless.”

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July 25, 2014 · 7:35 am

Scuba Hunt Club Primed for Lionfish Season

Red lionfish, native to the Indo-Pacific region, have overrun Caribbean reefs in the past decade. Cullers hope rifles will prove more efficient than spears.

Red lionfish, native to the Indo-Pacific region, have overrun Caribbean reefs in the past decade. Cullers hope rifles will prove more efficient than spears.

Blacktip Island’s Scuba Hunt Club will kick off lionfish season this weekend with an underwater safari along the Caribbean island’s west coast. Club members aim to cull as many of the non-native pests as possible with newly-developed underwater rifles.

The Tiperon Islands Department of Natural Resources instituted the hunting season as part of the effort to eradicate the invasive Indo-Pacific fish devastating the islands’ reefs.

“Seven years ago we put a firm quota system in place,” the DNR’s Noddy Bolin said. “Licensed hunters are allowed to cull as many lionfish as they can, with whatever device they can find.”

“We’ve used nets, clubs and spears,” hunt club president B.C. Flote said. “It’s been pretty piecemeal, though, with folks getting what fish they could, but having to leave a lot behind.”

The recent invention of an underwater lionfish rifle – a specially-adapted .308 caliber sealed for underwater use and chambered for an ultra-high velocity round to compensate for water’s density – has made this year’s safari possible. The rifles are fitted with underwater scopes that correct for light refraction at depth.

“Spearing’s fun, sure,” said divemaster Gage Hoase. “But with the spears, you can only get a dozen or so before your air runs out. And the fish duck back in the coral where you can’t get them.

“With these rifles, we can pop hundreds in one dive. It’s not elegant, but it’s effective. And still fun. We can take down a stripey from 40, 50 feet away, no matter how they hide.”

The club hopes the safari concept will allow it to cleanse entire sections of the reef.

“We’re using beaters and baggers to streamline the process,” B.C. Flote said. “Beaters’ll fan out over the reef, whacking their tank bangers to flush the lionfish from the tall sea grass, drive them into killing zones where the hunters can shoot them. The fish, not the beaters.

“Then once a fish is shot, baggers’ll scoot in and grab the carcasses so the hunters can concentrate on shot count and quality. That’s the dicey part. Wounded lionfish can be ferocious. Lots of good hunters’ve been spined that way. They got special gloves this season. And orange wetsuits.”

“We tried using grouper as underwater retrievers instead,” Gage Hoase said. “But the grouper just kept eating the fish.”

Blacktip Island’s PETA chapter has filed a formal protest against the hunt.

“This is piscine genocide, pure and simple,” said PETA head Harry Pickett. “‘Cull’ is just another word for ‘murder.’ The ecosystem has changed. Lionfish are the dominant species on the reef now, with no natural predators. We have to embrace that. Embrace them.”

“Those suckers’ll have plenty of predators come Saturday morning,” the hunt club’s Flote said. “And us hunt club folks are as natural as it gets.”

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July 18, 2014 · 6:02 am

Ruptured Windows Doom Island’s Underwater Home Show

The sole surviving entry in Blacktip Island’s Underwater Home Show. Designers in the destroyed homes were rescued by passing scuba divers.

The sole surviving entry in Blacktip Island’s Underwater Home Show. Designers in the destroyed homes were rescued by passing scuba divers.

Catastrophic window failures Thursday afternoon destroyed all but one entry in Blacktip Island’s Underwater Home Show. The Caribbean island homes were to be featured on HGTV’s “Pimp My Beach Shack” reality series highlighting alternative destination housing, with the winning designer to host a network DIY show.

“They said it was some kind of high-tensile, space-age polycarbonate,” show organizer Sheena Goode said. “Everyone bought it. Everyone used it. Now we see why we got such good prices.”

“We were putting the final touches on the armoire and, KABLAM! Water and snappers and chubs were everywhere,” designer Payne Hanover said. “Luckily there were scuba divers outside to breathe us to the surface.”

The windows’ manufacturer, Fenêtres de la Mer, denied culpability.

“Do our brochures specifically state not to use our plastic windows underwater? No.” spokesman B.P. Glass said. “But who in their right mind would expect an eighth-inch thick sheet of plastic to hold up to that kind of pressure? Not to cast stones, but this is an end-user issue.”

The sole surviving home, built without windows, was declared the show’s winner by default.

“I’m sickened by the damage, and I hate to win this way,” said Suzanne Souccup, the house’s designer. “But I’m keeping the prize money. And the reality show gig.”

“It was the modern, open-concept design of most of the homes that did us in,” organizer Goode said. “We laughed at Suzanne’s manky grotto, but that saved her from disaster.”

“Everyone was going with lots of light and rattan,” Souccup said, “So I opted for post-modern gloom. It’s not so much feng shui as it is funky shui.

“It’s done in 100% organic materials, locally-sourced and dyed with seaweed-based tinctures harvested from the island’s reefs. We finished it off with coral-rubble walls and black coral posts for the master bedroom.”

Local environmentalists decried Souccup’s choice of materials.

“Rattan is renewable,” said Harry Pickett of Earth First!. “Those black coral logs took centuries to grow. This isn’t locally sourcing. This is devastating the locale. This home should have been destroyed along with all the others.”

Picketts denied allegations Earth First! targeted any of the homes for sabotage, or that Souccup had any connection to his organization.

The Tiperon Island Department of Tourism has embraced the flooded homes.

“This is a lemons-to-lemonade situation for us,” the D.o.T.’s Val Schrader said. “We’ve plans to turn the mess into a self-guided snorkeling trail. This kind of opportunity doesn’t come along every day.”

Local scuba divers have been recruited to help with making the homes safe for snorkelers.

“We can’t pay you,” Schrader said, “but you can keep anything you haul up.”

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April 11, 2014 · 4:44 am

Tollbooths Installed on Island Reefs

A Marine Park ranger monitors one of Blacktip Island’s new reef tollbooths.

A Marine Park ranger monitors one of Blacktip Island’s new reef tollbooths.

The Blacktip Island Marine Park Service is installing underwater tollbooths on all the Caribbean island’s scuba dive sites this week. The move is a response to dwindling public funding and increased diver impact on the island’s reefs.

“Think of it as a graduated impact fee,” Park Service spokesperson Val Schrader said.

“Instead of charging every diver a flat marine park fee, we’ll be charging based on how much of the reef they actually see.

“The old system wasn’t fair to new divers who blow through their air and surface in twenty minutes. Or to the Type B divers who stay close to the boat looking at one coral head.”

Collection boxes fashioned as oversized conch shells have been installed at all popular coral heads and swim-throughs.

“They’re big and obvious enough that divers will know what they are,” Schrader said, “but not so outlandish they detract from the diving experience.”

Divers can buy scan cards that clip onto their BCDs, and add credits in $10 increments. Alternately, divers may carry Tiperon currency to drop into collection boxes.

Divers purchasing a Park Service Reef Pass will have their dives charged directly to their hotel room or credit card at a reduced rate.

The plan’s opponents vowed to fight the tolls.

“We’ll go in from shore, on sites where there’s no collection bins,” local resident Barry Sennett said. “These reefs don’t belong to the Park Service or the government. These reefs are your reefs, these reefs are my reefs.”

Other protestors plan to take a more active approach.

“They’ll have a hard time collecting if their precious conch shells get dropped 6,000 feet down the wall,” said a local diver who wished to remain anonymous.

“We’re installing cameras,” Schrader said. “Hidden ones. To keep an eye on things. Divers caught illegally diving will be fined and have their scuba gear confiscated.”

The Park Service has also mandated all BCDs on Blacktip Island be fitted with remote inflator valves. Scuba divers not paying the tolls will have their BCDs auto-inflate them to the surface, where a red dye will be released.

“We’re definitely using shame as a deterrent,” Schrader said. “Sometimes a stiff fine just won’t do the trick.”

Snorkelers will be charged at reduced rates. Free divers will be charged according to the number of dives they do as well as the depth of each dive. Blind divers will be allowed to dive free of charge.

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February 28, 2014 · 7:49 am

Fish-Shaped Drones Stalk Blacktip Island Divers

A close up of the suspected surveillance drones.

A close up of the suspected surveillance drones.

Blacktip Island scuba operators have filed a formal protest after leaked documents revealed some fish on the Caribbean island’s reefs may be disguised intelligence drones.

“There’s always sergeant majors schooling behind the dive boats,” Eagle Ray Cove dive operations manager Ger Latner said. “But there’s something’s fishy about these ones. They don’t eat the chips the guests throw overboard. They don’t bite chunks out of divers’ hands or ears, either. It’s not natural.”

“The things swim these tight circles around you without ever moving a fin,” divemaster Marina DeLow said. “And right in your face, eyes zooming in and out.”

Documents recently made public reference sergeant major-shaped drones used by the American National Security Administration.

“It’s an outrage,” Sandy Bottoms Beach Resort general manager Kay Valve said. “Our guests pay top dollar to come here and relax without worrying about being spied upon. Especially by fish.”

The suspected drones have island visitors concerned as well.

“A school of them followed me, my wife and our little girls while we were snorkeling,” said vacationer Kenny Chromis. “They were all over us, clicking and whirring. The girls ran out of the water, screaming, to get away from them.”

“The only way to tell for sure if these fish are drones is to catch one and cut it open,” said government watchdog Wade Soote. “That won’t happen, though. It’s a marine park – taking fish is illegal. It’s the perfect scenario, really.

“I’d be surprised if it’s limited to sergeant majors. Those friendly Nassau grouper that let you pet them? Please. What better way to collect fingerprints and DNA samples? These devices are incredibly sophisticated.”

A national security expert, speaking on condition of anonymity, outlined possible reasons for the surveillance on Blacktip Island.

“You have a situation where hundreds of people from all around the globe are going underwater every day,” he said. “They’re off the grid for an hour and claim they’re looking at fish. That’s highly unlikely. Fish aren’t that interesting.

“These people are doing this two, three times a day for days on end. Some even talk about doing ‘training dives.’ My question would be what kind of training, who’s conducting it and why. This is potential security nightmare.”

The NSA would not comment on the reports, or on why the sergeant majors school thicker around divers sporting Speedo swimwear. The agency did, however, issue a written statement which read, in part: “There is no good reason for a man to be wearing a Speedo in public. Unless he’s European. In which case we especially want to keep an eye on him.”

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November 11, 2013 · 5:12 pm

Island Resorts Brace for Busy Winter

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With hurricane season coming to a close, Blacktip Island resorts are ramping up for the coming high season.

New to the island are Eagle Ray Cove’s new managers, Mickey and Kitty Smarr.

“We’re excited to be part of one of the premier Caribbean vacation destinations,” Mickey Smarr said. “The beaches are phenomenal, and the coral reefs make the scuba diving world-class.”

“We’ll be working to ensure the best island vacation experience possible,” Kitty Smarr added. “No matter what it takes, we’ll do it.”

Sandy Bottoms’ Beach Resort has a new look thanks to an off-season refurbishment project.

“We’d had complaints about the aqua paint and reef fish trim in the rooms looking too 1990s,” resort owner Sandy Bottoms said. “So we’ve redone them all in a fresh teal, with coral baseboards and molding to give it a more modern look. We’ve put teal lights in the pool, too, to accentuate the effect.”

Not to be outdone, Blacktip Haven will host a harvest cook-off the last weekend in November.

“To ensure a true harvest theme, we ask all participants to make their dishes from ingredients locally sourced here on Blacktip Island,” resort owner Elena Havens said. “Whether sourced in a garden, beside the road, or even on the road, we want to be certain all entries are organic and gluten-free.”

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