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Blacktip Island Weather
Sunday, January 15, 2023
Temperature: 86
Humidity: 68%
Precipitation: Noooope
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Blacktip Island Weather
Sunday, January 8, 2023
Temperature: 84
Humidity: 66%
Precipitation: Passing us by
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Maoist Insurgents Target Blacktip Island Media Outlets
Self-proclaimed Maoist guerillas have seized significant portions of Blacktip Island as of Friday morning, leaving destruction in their wake. (photo courtesy of Banswalhemant)
‘Stumbling Path’ Maoist guerrillas, intent on overthrowing Blacktip Island’s government, continued their advance on the small tropical island’s populous center Friday, with the stated intent of taking over all the island’s media outlets, island officials said.
“They came charging down off the southern bluff with no warning, hollering about little red books and revolution,” island mayor Jack Cobia said. “The only government we have here’s me and Constable Marquette, so I don’t really get it. Frankly, I think their real motive’s free beer.
“Booger Bottoms’s the main instigator, and he said flat-out he wants to grab all the media outlets to silence us and get his message out,” Cobia said. “They already took the radio and TV towers. We’re hoping the Blacktip Times can hold off long enough for reinforcements to get here from Tiperon.”
The insurgents have left a trail of destruction behind them.
“They’re cleaning out bars and liquor cabinets as they come,” Civil Defense Force leader Payne Hanover said. “We’ve got our local militia members, armed with sticks and beer bottles, on both rows to slow their advance. No idea how long we can keep them at bay. They’ve got us outnumbered, but we’re leaving booze behind as we retreat, hoping they’ll all pass out eventually.”
It is unclear how long the terrorists can be held at bay and the local media safeguarded. The Tiperon governor has promised addit
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Blacktip Island Weather
Sunday, January 1, 2023
Temperature: 85
Humidity: 64%
Precipitation: On the way
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Blacktip Island Literary Society Will Offer Individualized New Year’s Poetry Readings
Members of the Blacktip Island Literary Society will recite poems about any suggested topic Saturday evening at the Sandy Bottoms Beach Resort’s New Year’s Eve party as part of what the Society is calling ‘Rhyme in the New Year.’ (photo courtesy of Ernestine Bass)
Members of the Blacktip Island Literary Society will recite poems-on-request at this year’s New Year’s Eve extravaganza at Sandy Bottoms Beach Resort Saturday night in what society members are calling ‘Rhyme in the New Year.’
“We thought we’d make poetry relatable to everyone,” BILS president Doris Blenny said. “Poetry shouldn’t be some stuffy, unapproachable mystery. It’s part of our everyday lives, what with song lyrics and limericks and such. Our goal is to emphasize that.
“We’ll have members wandering through the party crowd offering to recite short poems—say, a Shakespeare sonnet—on any requested subject for anyone, or any group, for $5,” Blenny said. “We’ll be wearing bright orange shirts so people know who we are. Any theme is fair game, though we urge partygoers to avoid the more risqué topics until later in the evening. All the money we raise will go to charity. Mostly.”
Society members have been reviewing a wide variety of poems to prepare for the evening.
“Anything for Chaucer to Amanda Gorman’s fair game, and we’re ready for anything,” Ernestine Bass said. “It’s mostly in English, though some members specialize in other languages. Payne Hanover’s got a thing for Baudelaire and Rimbaud. And ‘Tonio Fletcher does love his Basho in the original Japanese.
“There’s also the option of requesting longer poems for an upcharge,” Bass said. Anything longer than an alexandrine’ll be $10, and even longer works’ll be $15. Jessie Catahoula’s been busy memorizing ‘The Wasteland’ just in case.”
Residents were looking forward to the event.
“It’s something different, isn’t it?” Chrissy Graysby said. “It’ll be lovely to start the new year with a bit of culture. It’ll set the tone for the year, I should say. Though who one chooses to recite is key. Lee Helm has such a beautiful speaking voice, but Dermott Bottoms, bless him, has a monotone drone. And mumbles. Though that may be beneficial with some of the more avant-garde selections.”
The BILS is also staging a raffle, with the randomly-chosen winner earning the role of a character in an upcoming Society member’s work.
“It may seem like a minor thing, but it makes art a bit more accessible if someone you know is in it,” Blenny said. “We’ve had a good bit of positive feedback on the concept and expect a lot of participation.”
Literary-themed snacks will be served at the party. Proceeds will, for the most part, go to the establishment of the Blacktip Island public library.
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Blacktip Island Weather
Sunday, December 25, 2022
Temperature: 84
Humidity: 63%
Precipitation: Santa brought clear skies and calm seas
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The Blacktip Times 