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Blacktip Island Weather
Sunday, September 6, 2020
Temperature: 84
Humidity 68%
Precipitation – – –
Air Quality Excellent
Wish you were here!
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Blacktip Islanders Launch Hunt For Alleged Witch
Blacktip Island officials fear an island resident may be lost in the Caribbean island’s rugged interior after fleeing a barroom confrontation Wednesday night. (photo by Wade Soote)
Blacktip Island residents Wednesday launched an island-wide search for a fellow resident who ran into hiding after being accused of being a witch the night before, authorities said.
“Folks were all liquored up down at the Ballyhoo, and Cori Anders started doing slight-of-hand magic tricks,” Island Police Constable Rafe Marquette said. “A drunk-ass Dermott Bottoms thought the tricks were real, started hollering about Cori being a witch. Then Gage Hoase and Lee Helm pestered her to heal their upcoming hangovers.
“Others joined in, and next thing you know folks were yelling about tying her up or dunking her or burning her or some such,” Marquette said. “Cori laughed it all off until James Conlee tried to grab her. That’s when she bolted out the door, sped off and no one’s seen her since.”
Some residents expressed concern for Anders’ safety.
“No one’s seen her, or her ride, for a day and a half,” Alison Diesel said. “She could be hurt, or worse, somewhere inland where nobody ever goes. I get hauling ass out of there, but to stay hid for so long? She’s not just sleeping one off.”
Community leaders quickly launched a search for Anders.
“We have the island gridded out in squares, and teams of three and four are searching them methodically for any sign of Cori or her car,” Wade Soote said. “If she’s hurt somewhere, time’s of the essence. I know people’re getting punchy with the lockdown and isolation, but this isn’t like Cori.”
Others were focused on the accusations against Anders.
“Still looking to see if she really is a witch,” Dermott Bottoms said. “Always wears that pointy hat, and she’s got a long nose, y’know. She might be the one who brought this virus curse down on us. If she did, then we gotta make sure she pays. Or at least makes it go away.
“Me and James and some others, we’re beating the bush to find her, put her to the test, for the good of the island,” Bottoms said. “Gonna drop her over the side of one of the boats to see if she floats. Or sinks. I can’t remember which one it is witches do.”
Island authorities urged caution in the search efforts.
“Folks stomping off into the interior alone are gonna get hurt or lost,” Marquette said. “If people aren’t careful, we’re gonna have multiple search-and-rescue operations going on. Folks need to let me do the searching instead of running around like a bunch of fools.
“Just this morning I caught Dermott and his bunch heading into the bush with landing nets and lionfish spears,” Marquette said. “Other people were using beaters to try to drive her toward waiting rescuers. If this keeps up, Cori may never come back. And I wouldn’t blame her.”
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Wednesdays are dolphin days. Courtesy of The Blacktip Times!
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Local Author Releases New Novel’s Cover and First Chapter
Blacktip Island author Tim W. Jackson’s new novel, available for preorder, will be released September 18. The first chapter is available free via the the cover/link to the right. –>
Blacktip Island author Tim W. Jackson today unveiled the cover image of his forthcoming novel, The Secret of Rosalita Flats, in anticipation of the book’s mid-September release.
The book is Jackson’s second Blacktip Island-based humor novel. His first, Blacktip Island, was a Best Book Awards finalist for humor.
“The Secret of Rosalita Flats continues the whackadoodle island adventures started in Blacktip Island,” Jackson said. “This cover gives everyone a taste of what the book’s like before it comes out. A literary amuse bouche, if you will.
“No one’s innocent on this little rock, but the names have been changed anyway. Hopefully everyone’ll get a good laugh.”
Early reviews have been positive.
Reader Views says, “From the first few sentences, Jackson’s sense of humor hooks you, and you know it’s going to be a fun ride.” The Manhattan Book Review calls The Secret of Rosalita Flats “a humorous, slow-burn mystery that will consume the reader.”
Local reaction, however, was mixed.
“I’m guess looking forward to reading this one,” Club Scuba Doo dive manager Finn Kiick said. “I don’t really have anything else to do. Worst case, I can use it as a coaster.”
Others were less upbeat.
“Author? That guy’s not an author,” Rosie Bottoms said. “He’s just some half-crazy dive hippy who sits around and makes up lies about us. Can’t believe he’s doing this again, y’know. That last book had the whole island looking for tar and feathers.”
Others concurred.
“I’m still peeved at how he portrayed me in that last book,” Payne Hanover said. “He casts me as some dissolute dilettante again, well, I know where that miscreant lives.”
A few residents dismissed the cover reveal as cheap showmanship.
“Don’t see no book. Just a pretty picture. That somebody else did,” Dermott Bottoms said. “Man wants to impress me, he needs to show the whole damn book he claims he wrote.”
The Secret of Rosalita Flats will be released September 18.
Ebook preorders are available via Amazon (https://www.amazon.com/dp/B08BQCH6TJ) and other online retailers. Physical preorders are available via Jackson’s website (http://www.timwjackson.com/ ).
The first chapter is available free via The Blacktip Times (click cover/link to the right –>).
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Wednesdays suck. Dolphins make them better!
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Blacktip Island Divers Encounter Kraken During Night Dive
- A photo of the creature Blacktip Island night divers claim was a juvenile kraken responsible for attacking them Wednesday night. (photo courtesy of Richard Zerpe)
Scuba divers off Blacktip Island’s Diddley’s Landing public pier Wednesday night claim to have encountered a kraken, a giant, squid-like creature long thought a legend.
“There’s been stories of krakens in the deep water off that coast, but nobody really believed them,” Angela Fisher said. “But that night, during the dive, a couple of us felt something squishy grabbing at our legs. Then, right by the pier, this big squid-thing appeared out of nowhere, all tentacles flailing and beak snapping.
“Joey Pompano pulled out his knife, and me and Alison Diesel purged our alternate airs at it,” Fisher said. “It freaked at the bubbles and inked, and we dragged ourselves up the pier steps quick-like-the-bunny. Scariest thing that ever happened to me on a dive.”
Divers say the creature matched what they know of kraken.
“It was textbook kraken, just smaller and more skittish,” Alison Diesel said. “It must’ve just hatched out. That’s why it was so small. And why no one’s seen it before. And why it spooked so quick. It had to have been behind us during the dive, testing us with its tentacles. Then it went full-Cthulhu when it realized we were getting out.
“I it’ll learn as it grows. That’s the scary part,” Diesel said. “Before long before it won’t b safe to dive on Blacktip. And it’ll go after boats, too. This is way-spooky stuff.”
Some on the island, however, questioned the sighting.
“A kraken? Crack of their butts is more like it,” Tiperon University-Blacktip marine biology professor Ernesto Mojarra said. “If there were a giant squid, and if one were on the reef, there’d be no fish left. And this was a night dive. They probably just saw some reef squid or an octopus.
“And knowing that bunch, they’d been smoking God-knows-what before they jumped in the water,” Mojarra added. “Tentacles brushing their legs? That was probably them kicking the hell out of sea plumes.”
The divers defended their claims.
“I know octopus, and that was no octopus,” Pompano said. “It charged us. Eyes flashing. I could see the beak snapping two, three feet in front of my face. It was like that scene from ‘20,000 Leagues Under the Sea.’
“We reckon it just got here, that’s why no one else’s seen it,” Pomano said. “We got lucky. What if purging a reg doesn’t scare it off next time?”
Several dive resorts plan to capitalize on the sighting once tourists return to the island.
“Sure, there’s no such thing as a kraken and divers are safe on our reefs,” island mayor Jack Cobia said. “But Eagle Ray Cove’s gonna run special Kraken dive charters. For an upcharge, of course. And Finn down at Club Scuba Doo, he sent off a proposal for a Kraken Diver specialty course. He’s just waiting for approval.
“God bless Angela and those knuckleheads,” Cobia said. “When tourists come back, we’re gonna make up for lost time. And income.”
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Blacktip Island Scuba Divers Create Underwater Sharks-and-Minnows League
Scuba diver “minnows” Gage Hoase (left) and Ginger Bass race for the safety of a nearby coral head Thursday afternoon during a game of “sharks and minnows.” (photo courtesy of Diego Delso)
Blacktip Island’s scuba-diving residents, deprived of tourists and other island visitors since March, this week created an underwater sharks-and-minnows league to add variety to their diving activities.
“We’re all doing lots of recreational diving these days to stave off boredom, but diving the same sites was getting pretty stale,” Gage Hoase said. “For a laugh one day, Jerrod tried to keep Joey Pompano from getting to the boat’s boarding ladder. Other people laughed and joined in and it turned into an impromptu keep-away game.
“Next day, everybody started playing tag underwater, so we formalized some rules and voila, we had a thing,” Hoase said. “It’s the same rules as above water, or in a pool. Mostly. Divers try to get from one coral head to the next, with the ‘shark’ in between. When the shark bangs his tank it’s ‘shark attack’ time, and the minnows have to get past him without getting tagged.”
Players say the action can get intense.
“It gets damned competitive down there,” Ginger Bass said. “People you’d never suspect of being gamers get super aggressive. And there’s always arguments about whether somebody was actually tagged. It’s hard to tell, sometimes, when you’re wearing a wetsuit. A couple of times we had to end the game so people could go to the surface and argue over who did, or didn’t get tagged.”
Some on the small Caribbean island raised safety concerns.
“These people are grabbing and clawing at one another 30 feet underwater. Eventually someone’ll get hurt,” island nurse Marissa Graysby said. “Somebody accidentally snags a regulator hose or bumps someone’s tank valve while they’re playing grab-ass, that could mean serious trouble.
“The only medical infrastructure on this little island are me and the clinic, and we have no way to evacuate anyone off island, Grasby said. “Blacktip is not the place you want to get hurt. Especially now, and for such a silly reason.”
Others said the nurse’s fears were unfounded.
“People get into the game, sure, but we’re all careful not to be stupid,” Jay Valve said. “If a reg comes out, all action stops until the diver gets it back. And we do air checks between each round.
“The real medical issue is what would happen if we all didn’t play this game,” Valve said. “it’s social interaction that doesn’t involve drinking, and folks blow off a ton of steam with this. Marissa’s not trained to deal with the mental health issues if we all sat around doing nothing. Or diving the same old sites the same old way.”
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Blacktip Island’s Stargazers Launch Island’s First Astronomy Club
The Milky Way’s galactic arm stretches across Blacktip Island’s Eagle Ray Cove Wednesday night. A group of amateur astronomers has banded together to form the island’s first astronomy club. (photo of Kristian Pikner)
An informal group of astronomy enthusiasts this week joined forces to form the small Caribbean island’s first official astronomy club to alleviate boredom while tourism is derailed due to COVID-related border closings.
“Everybody was sitting around, just staring into space one night after the Ballyhoo closed, and the idea hit us,” Blacktip Island Astronomy Society president Cal Batten said. “We figured we might as well watch stars together since we were doing it anyway after the bars close.
“There’s too many lights around buildings, though, so we meet out on the airstrip,” Batten said. “Everybody brings a folding lounge chair and their beverage of choice and we stay up most of the night watching the stars, hoping for a comet, that sort of thing.”
Society members say the club is a way to better themselves.
“I was going to learn a language, but this is less stressful and more useful,” Cori Anders said. “Plus, you can drink while you do it. It’s encouraged, actually. And it’s an opportunity to learn something new.
“Like, I know I’m a Sagittarius, but wasn’t sure what that meant,” Anders said. “So hopefully this’ll give me some insight into that.”
Others echoed Anders’ sentiments.
“I’m never sure which stars are which, or what people are talking about,” Lee Helm said. “But I do like laying on my back and watching the stars spin. You feel safe in a group. Unless the constable shows up.”
Island authorities are tolerant of the group’s activities, to a point.
“Club members are free to use the landing strip, provided they police all garbage when they leave,” Island Police Constable Rafe Marquette said. “They also have to be gone at first light so they don’t interfere with arriving aircraft. Anyone laying on the runway at dawn will be arrested, be they conscious or otherwise. And they have been. Not to mention anyone by name, but his initials are Dermott Bottoms.”
Club officers include: Cal Batten, president; Marina DeLow, vice president; Peachy Bottoms, secretary; and Reg Gurnard, bartender.
The club’s informal structure is its greatest strength, members said.
“Folks who know about stars and stuff teach the rest of us,” Alison Diesel. “The other night, Cal brought out his big telescope to give us all cool views of Jupiter, Saturn and Venus. And James Conlee, he swears he saw Uranus.”
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The Blacktip Times 