Eagle Ray Cove resort will host Blacktip Island’s 13th annual Stupid Guest Question Invitational Saturday.
Contestants are nominated by Blacktip Island’s dive staffs based on the most cringe-worthy inquiries from scuba diving guests during the past year.
“People who say, ‘there’s no such thing as a stupid question’ have never worked a dive boat,” Eagle Ray Divers operations manager Ger Latner said. “Some of these people, I swear, they leave their brains at home when they come down here.”
“We get some doozies,” Club Scuba Doo dive manager Finn Kiick said. “We jot them down in a notebook, then when it’s nomination time, out comes the book and, voila, we have a field day.”
Contestants will dress in suitable scuba attire, stand on the stern of a dive boat tied to the Eagle Ray Divers dock, and repeat their question for a dockside audience. The winner will be chosen by audience reaction.
“It’s frightening, really,” Sandy Bottoms divemaster Lee Helm said. “I mean, these are doctors, attorneys, captains of industry. And these words actually come out their mouths.”
Last year’s top questions included:
- “Does the island go all the way to the bottom?”
- “Why’s the ocean taste salty?”
- “How long does an hour massage last?”
- “Do the small tanks hold less air than the big ones?”
- “What does coconut rum taste like?”
- “What island is this?”
- “So, you’re saying it’s bad to go into decompression?”
The winner will be awarded the My Teeth Hurt Necklace of Shame and have his or her mouth duct taped shut for the remainder of the evening.
“We usually throw in drinks and some free diving for the winner, too,” Eagle Ray Divers’ Latner said. “But they’re not allowed to ask any more questions.”
The prizes have made the contest a guest favorite, with most competitors excited to be chosen.
“You have to realize all these questions, in context, seem quite reasonable at the time,” said 2014 Invitational champion Georgie Passaic, who won with, ‘Was that an eel or a lobster?’
“Hell, I ask my wife stupider questions than that every day,” Passaic said.
“You could’ve knocked me over with a feather when I got nominated,” 2015 contestant Suzy Souccup said. “Sure, it’s a little embarrassing, but maybe now I’ll finally get an answer to what you call those fish that fly.”