Napping will be the order of the day Sunday at Blacktip Island’s inaugural Nod-Off napping contest. (photo courtesy of Michael Nutt)
The Blacktip Island Chamber of Commerce announced Thursday the small Caribbean island would conduct its first-ever napping contest, the Nod-Off, this Sunday at the Eagle Ray Cove Resort resort to raise money for local charities.
“This is something Blacktippers are good at that we need to capitalize on,” C. of C. president Harry “Scratcher” Wrasse said. “It emphasizes how relaxing our little slice of paradise is, and lets potential visitors know they can have a stress-free vacation here.
“Nod-Off contestants will have their choice of napping platform, be that bed, hammock, pool lounger, bar chair, or what have you,” Wrasse said. “Degree of difficulty points will be added to folks’ scores depending on their choice of platform. Nap on a bed, you get no extra points. A barstool, though, is at the other end of that scale. I mean, if you can get a quality nap face down on the bar while sober, that’s bad ass.”
Organizers said contestants will be graded on multiple criteria.
“Nappers will be judged on length of nap as well as quality of sleep,” nap judge Kay Valve said. “Frankly, we found one can cancel out the other in our test runs. Someone can take a quick 20-minute power nap and be totally refreshed, while someone else may sleep for an hour and wake up groggy.
“We’ll test nappers’ basic motor skills before and after to gauge their quality of sleep,” Valve said. “There’s also a 90-minute time limit, since any longer than that is technically just going back to sleep. There’ll be a separate judging for best snoring, too, to make the contest as all-inclusive as possible. The biggest issue we’ve had in the trials is the judges keep nodding off.”
Others noted contestants will be tested for performance-enhancing drugs before and after the event.
“We have a zero-tolerance policy for any would-be juicers out there,” Doris Blenny said. “There’ll be no Benadryl, melatonin, Nyquil or Unisom allowed. Same goes for chamomile tea and all other such frippery. Anybody testing positive will be marched out of the venue with gongs.”
Proceeds from the event will go to the local Habitat for Humanity and the Blacktip chapter of Somnambulists Anonymous.
“We’re hoping to raise enough money for a mattress for both jail cells,” Clete Horn said. “Right now it’s just two metal platforms that’re uncomfortable as hell. And lots of folks spend lots of time in there.”
The Nod-Off will begin immediately after lunch at Eagle Ray Cove. Winners will receive the Golden Pillowcase Award.
Somnambulists Anonymous representatives requested to remain anonymous.
The Blacktip Times 