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Blacktip Island Shakespeare Season Launches Saturday Evening

Blacktip Island Shakespeare fest

Alison Diesel as Dromio of Ephesus, left, and Hugh Calloway as Dromio of Syracuse face off in the dress rehearsal of the Blacktip Island Community Players’ interpretation of Shakespeare’s mistaken-identity farce The Comedy of Errors. (photo courtesy of the Blacktip Island Community Players / Gage Hoase).

The Blacktip Island Community Players Thursday announced their Fall 2024 Shakespeare Festival will open this Saturday with their rendition of The Comedy of Errors, set on contemporary Blacktip Island, Players officials said.

“We’re trying to make this wonderful material relevant to the average Blacktipper,” BICP director Doris Blenny said. “The Comedy of Errors will start things off because it could have been written specifically for our little island. It’s an uncanny life-copies-art situation. Or vice versa.

“The play’s been described as a classic farce, but to us it’s just everyday life,” Blenny said. “In fact, last year, the phrase nearly became our island motto, being narrowly edged out by ‘If It Ain’t Broke, Don’t Fix It.’”

Many in the small island community embraced the retelling.

“It’s wonderful something cultural like this can be produced so true to life,” Chrissy Graysby said. “People get me and Joey Pompano mixed up all the time, always with comic results. We’ll be bringing the kiddos so they can soak up their heritage.”

Others questioned the choice of plays.

“Blacktip’s full of construction workers and divemasters,” James Conlee said. “Fancy plays like this got nothing to offer. Be surprised if anybody shows up. Time’s better spent at the Sand Spit bar. Or better yet, The Last Ballyhoo. Go down to the Ballyhoo Saturday at closing time, you’ll see some real entertainment.”

Other questioned its appropriateness.

“This little rock’s already eat-up with gossip and rumors and mistaken identity,” Dermott Bottoms said. “Folks recognize themselves in the play, there’s gonna be problems. I see anybody mocking me, I’ll snatch ‘em off that stage and chuck ‘em through the window.”

The cast includes:

  • Gage Hoase as Antipholus of Ephesus
  • Marina DeLow as Antipholus of Syracuse
  • Alison Diesel as Dromio of Ephesus
  • Hugh Calloway as Dromio of Syracuse
  • Lee Helm as Adriana
  • Cori Anders as Luciana
  • Jessie Catahoula as Egeon the Merchant
  • Booger Bottoms as Solinus, Duke of Ephesus

“We are allowing alcohol consumption, in moderation, but with zero tolerance for rowdy behavior,” Blenny said. “The constable will be standing by, and we will not have a repeat of last year’s Last Samurai finale debacle.”

The play will begin at 7:30 on the island’s Heritage House lawn. All funds raised will go to Blacktip’s Habitat for Humanity.

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Groovin’ On The Morning Commute

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Blacktip Island Weather

33

Wahoo Reef weather station

Monday, September 2, 2024

Temperature: 97

Humidity: 69%

Precipitation: Gonna be a scorcher

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Blacktip Island Former Mayor To Launch Re-Election Campaign

cobia launches re-election

Former Blacktip Island mayor Jack Cobia hopes to oust incumbent Melvin the hermit crab in next month’s island-wide mayoral election. (photo courtesy of Rushen)

Former Blacktip Island Mayor Jack Cobia will launch his re-election campaign this afternoon at the Last Ballyhoo bar, hoping to regain the office he lost to Melvin the hermit crab four years ago.

“The people of Blacktip deserve more than this do-nothing excuse for government,” Cobia said. “People’re suffering economically and physically, and Melvin has no plan to address that. He’s not even aware of it. That needs to change. Pronto.

“Prices on Blacktip are too high,” Cobia said. “We need to drop the tax on alcohol. And cigarettes. I have plans to lower, and cap, prices at Peachy Bottoms’ store, too. Just because it’s the only store on the island doesn’t mean she can charge extortionary prices.”

Island residents were indifferent to the announcement.

“Got no problem with how things are now,” Antonio Fletcher said. “Our mayor may be a hermit crab, but he don’t do anything to complicate my life. So long as he leaves me alone, I’ll vote for him again. Jack’s just stirring things up for personal gain. Like he always does.

“The position’s honorary, and unpaid,” Fletcher said. “Jack don’t have the power to make good on any of his campaign promises. He just wants the title for his ego. That’s not an issue with Melvin.”

Others were more hostile to Cobia’s campaign.

“Jack’s got no right telling me what I can charge at my store,” Peachy Bottoms said. “This’s a free market, and folks don’t have to buy groceries from me. They’re free to buy food from the big island and have it shipped over. I provide a service. Sure, a bunch of grapes costs $25, but when you factor in spoilage and transport and economy of scale, that’s a fair price for living in paradise. Or whatever this is.”

Others supported Cobia’s bid.

“I’m 110 percent behind Jack with his plans to scuttle taxes on booze and smokes,” Gage Hoase said. “And lowering prices at the store. Plus, he’s a genius for saying the constable should to stay in police station unless there’s an actual emergency. That’ll eliminate all those pesky drunk-driving roadblocks.”

This afternoon’s announcement will be followed by a campaign rally with free drinks provided by the Cobia campaign. The Blacktip Times could neither confirm nor deny reports of Cobia making cash payments to voters.

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More Group Therapy

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Blacktip Island Weather

32

Wahoo Reef weather station

Sunday, August 25, 2024

Temperature: 98

Humidity: 68%

Precipitation: Not today

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Faery Ring Outbreak Has Blacktip Islanders Worried

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Rings appearing on Blacktip Island roads this week have residents concerned about supernatural dangers. (photo courtesy of Leah Shore)

An outbreak of multicolored rings on Blacktip Island’s roadways this week has many of the small Caribbean island’s residents worrying about otherworldly dangers for them and the island.

“Those faery rings, you step inside them, no telling what’ll happen,” photographer Leah Shore said. “They crop up every few decades and’re always trouble. You disappear for years. Or forever. It happens all the time, you just don’t hear about it.

“They’ve been a danger since the early days of the island’s settlement,” Shore said. “The Island Chronicles talk about them on dirt trails, and how many unwary settlers were lost in the beginning. Now, with these rings all over again, folks have to be careful where they step so they don’t get caught. And it’s made a dangerous situation with drivers weaving all over the road to avoid them.”

Others noted broader concerns about the circles.

“Big picture, these rings all over mean it’s gonna be a bad hurricane year,” meteorologist Rayne Doppler said. “Every time they show up, we get whacked by a big storm. The island faeries know, and this’s their way of warning us danger’s coming. And the more colors there are, the worse the storms’ll be.”

Others scoffed at the idea of spirits making the rings.

“Bunch of tomfoolery. No such thing as faeries,” Rusty Bollard said. “Them circles were made by duppies. Angry duppies, trying to lure us out on the road when it’s dark. Couldn’t pay me enough to walk those roads at night, even with a bagful of rice grains to throw down to keep the duppies at bay. Y’all laugh all you want, but that ol’ rolling calf ain’t gonna get me!”

Others focused on non-supernatural causes.

“There’s no elves or pixies making these things. It’s simple science,” geologist Rosie Blenny said. “There’s simply too much nitrogen in the asphalt. That imbalance creates an environment where micro-fungi can thrive. The road department needs to sprinkle some phosphorus on them to even out the pH. They’ll be gone in a month, and people can stop freaking out like scared school kids.”

Island officials say plans are in the works to remedy the situation.

“First thing next week we’ll have the tar truck crew out spraying over all these rings,” public works chief Stoney MacAdam said. “No boojum nonsense out there can stand up to a layer of hot, liquid tar. And any spooks try to dance there afterwards, well, they’ll get stuck in tar, won’t they?”

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Blacktip Island Weather

31

Wahoo Reef weather station

Sunday, August 18, 2024

Temperature: 96

Humidity: 70%

Precipitation: Doubtful

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Blacktip Island Landfill To Host Scavenger Hunt

dump scavenger hunt

Blacktip Island’s ever-expanding landfill will be the site of Saturday’s Dump Dive scavenger hunt. (photo courtesy of Wade Soote)

The Blacktip Island Department of Environmental Health will host its inaugural Dump Dive scavenger hunt Saturday at the island’s landfill as part of an effort to reduce waste on the small Caribbean island.

“Folks need to realize a small island isn’t the place for throw-away culture,” landfill supervisor Wade Soote said. “The dump’s the highest point on Blacktip, and it’s growing every day. We only have so much space for trash. The scavenger hunt’ll get folks out to the dump, show them first-hand what a predicament we’re in.

“We won’t hand out the list of items to look for until the day of the event, to keep folks from scouting or staging things to find,” Soote said. “We’re encouraging folks of all ages to participate, to really get families to turn out. Sure, adults can shove bigger items out of the way, but that’s more than balanced out by kids being able to slip into small spaces.”

Hunt organizers hope to raise reuse and recycling awareness.

“Some of the things on the list of things to find—an electric toothbrush, half a kayak paddle, a condemned scuba cylinder—can easily be repurposed,” Coryl Bleeching said. “If we can get even one person to say, ‘Hey! This is still good! I can use this for something!’ we’ve done our jobs.”

Some island residents raised privacy concerns about the hunt.

“This is a gossipy, nosey island at heart,” Peachy Bottoms said. “People already poke through the dump, looking for dirt on their neighbors. Now, this scavenger hunt’s the perfect cover for digging deeper through peoples’ garbage to find personal details and embarrassing stuff. It’s a Nosey Parker’s dream come true.”

Island health officials also questioned the activity.

“All that stuff’s in the dump for a reason,” island nurse Marissa Graysby said. “There’s who know what kinds of pathogens there, and people rooting through will just expose them to all that. I’m ordering all kinds of extra antibiotics and hoping it’s enough.”

The DEH is erecting temporary stands set up for spectators.

“Even if they’re not participating, we want as many folks on hand to witness it,” Soote said. “We’re hoping this becomes an annual island spectacle, with live music, food stands, the whole shebang.”

Dump Dive t-shirts will be available for purchase at the landfill. Winners will be allowed to keep whatever they find.

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Wednesday Timeline Cleanse.

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