Wahoo Reef weather station
Sunday, November 17, 2024
Temperature: 87
Humidity: 66%
Precipitation: Nothin’ doin’
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Underwater Cycle Paths Planned For Blacktip Island
Blacktip Island cycle enthusiasts Gage Hoase and Coryl Bleeching demonstrate their underwater cycling technique off the Diddley’s Landing public pier Thursday. (photo courtesy of Gage Hoase)
A group of Blacktip Island bicycling enthusiasts announced Wednesday plans for constructing submerged cycle paths around the small Caribbean island’s reefs to further promote both scuba diving and cycling.
“Biking’s popular. So’s scuba,” Gage Hoase said. “And Blacktip’s a dream destination for both. We’re just combining them. It’s stunning no one thought of this before. People are always talking about riding bikes underwater at happy hour, but, like everything else on this little rock, no one actually does anything.
“We’ve already done test rides on the sand off Diddley’s Landing public pier,” Hoase said. “It’s easier than you’d think, and is great aerobic exercise. Plus, if you fall, you don’t have to worry about getting hurt.”
Local cyclists praised the care taken to protect the reefs.
“They’re carving the main trail across the shallow hardpan to lessen environmental damage,” Coryl Bleeching said. “Not only does that spare the coral that grows deeper, but it also reduces the danger of getting the decompression sickness from cycling too deep.
“Eventually they’ll cut a series of side paths, too, so the trail doesn’t get too crowded,” Bleeching said. “We’re also looking at running underwater bike tours, for visitors who’re more comfortable with structured rides. And once the main trail all the way around the island, we’ll launch the inaugural Tour de Blacktip around the 27-mile circumference.”
Environmental activists decried the plan.
“These idiots are destroying fragile ecosystems with this random dumbassery,” Harry Pickett said. “Yahoos riding roughshod over marine life in the shallows is the same as killing the coral they claim to love. And what of the grease and oil from the bikes harming fish and coral?
“The more obvious problem people are ignoring is what’s the life expectancy of a metal bike in sea water?” Pickett said. “And people already don’t return the bikes they borrow from resorts. What will happen to all those rusty frames? There’ll be more trashed bikes on the reef than coral inside a month.”
Marine Parks officials have rejected the proposed trails.
“Clear cutting pathways through the marine park isn’t going to happen,” Marine Parks spokesperson Val Schrader said. “This may sound like a great idea at the bar, but it’s a blatant violation of the law. Anyone attempting to create bike paths in the park will be prosecuted. Just like the idiots who were cycling off the public pier.”
Hoase vowed the project would go forward.
“This is a sure-fire thing that stands to make lots of folks lots of cash,” he said. “There’s people in the government behind it who aren’t gonna let some outdated rules get in the way. And my conviction’s being appealed.”
Filed under best scuba diving novels, Caribbean, Scuba Diving
Filed under best scuba diving novels, Caribbean, Scuba Diving
Blacktip Island Weather
Wahoo Reef weather station
Sunday, November 10, 2024
Temperature: 89
Humidity: 68%
Precipitation: Not today
Filed under best scuba diving novels, Caribbean, Scuba Diving
Blacktip Island Weather
Wahoo Reef weather station
Sunday, November 3, 2024
Temperature: 87
Humidity: 64%
Precipitation: Not happening
Filed under best scuba diving novels, Caribbean, Scuba Diving
Payoff Accusations Mar Blacktip Island’s Mayoral Race
Vote-buying accusations have heightened tensions in Blacktip Island’s already-heated mayor’s race. (photo by Sampson Post / BTT staff)
Blacktip Island’s hotly-contested mayoral election, scheduled for Tuesday, became supercharged this week when challenger and political newcomer Pinky Bottoms accused incumbent Jack Cobia’s campaign of paying voters ahead of time.
“When you have voters saying, ‘I’m voting for Jack because he paid me more,’ that’s a problem,” Bottoms said. “And we’re hearing that from multiple voters. This is a democracy. You don’t just buy voters. Not like that, anyway.
“This strikes at the heart of why I’m running against Jack,” she said. “This shameless, unchecked corruption is poisoning Blacktip’s political and social fabric. Jack started at the bottom and dug down from there. His time on the gravy train needs to end.”
Cobia defended his campaign’s actions.
“Pinky’s just mad ‘cause we’re paying more than she is,” he said. “I gotta do something to level the playing field, running against a Bottoms. If the extended Bottoms clan voted as a block, they’d run the island. The key for us is to split the Bottoms vote, and a little beer money here and there’s the best way to do that.”
Island political observers noted the island’s unique political structure played an oversized role.
“Blacktip really doesn’t have political parties, per se,” political watchdog Ginger Bass said. “Oh, they label and relabel themselves every election cycle, but they’re not divided on ideological lines like left-vs-right, or big government-vs-small government. It’s more a matter of whose cousin’s running and who you’re most-closely related to.
“On Blacktip, the family trees don’t have many branches,” Bass said. “And in the case of the Bottoms, damn near every local’s related to them somehow. That’s not an excuse for bribing voters, but it is necessary to recognize Jack’s up against a potentially-unstoppable voter base.”
Island residents were more concerned about important local issues than in election irregularities.
“The big issues are bars and roads,” Rusty Goby said. “Jack and Pinky both want the bars to stay open longer, so they’ve got my support on that. But Jack wants to pave both the roads, while Pinky wants to keep ‘em dirt. I’m voting for Pinky unless Jack drops some hefty dosh in my pocket.”
Local officials said there will be a zero-tolerance electioneering policy at the island’s sole polling place Tuesday.
“We won’t stand for any sort of inducement or improper influencing of voters at the Customs house,” Island Police Constable Rafe Marquette said. “You have any shenanigans to pull, get that out of the way before you come to vote. I’ll be on duty outside, and Noddy Bolin, the Customs agent, will be watching inside. Ol’ Noddy, he has an old-school belaying pin he won’t hesitate to use on miscreants.”
Voting begins at 7 a.m. Tuesday. Poll watchers from both campaigns will be on hand to monitor the process.
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Blacktip Island Weather
Wahoo Reef weather station
Sunday, October 27, 2024
Temperature: 88
Humidity: 61%
Precipitation: Batten the hatches
Filed under best scuba diving novels, Caribbean, Scuba Diving
Neanderthal Site Found In Blacktip Island Cave
An artist’s rendition of what the newly-discovered Blacktip Island Neanderthals, and the island, might have looked like 500,000 years ago. (illustration by Wendy Beaufort/BTT)
Hikers exploring caves in Blacktip Island’s rugged interior Wednesday discovered what experts have identified as the only known Neanderthal site in the Western Hemisphere.
“We hacked through brush for an hour, and were excited to be the first ones to find the cave,” Gage Hoase said. “Then we saw the fire pit and wall paintings and got totally bummed out. Somebody’d gotten there first. We thought it was left over from a wild party.
“Then the university people went all apeshit and had me take them out there,” Hoase said. “They tore into taking photos and measuring everything. We didn’t get what the big deal was about until they told us what was up. So, technically, we were the first ones in the cave . . . after about 500,000 years.”
Tiperon University-Blacktip archeologists are keeping the finds under wraps.
“We’re not telling anyone where the cave is,” Vera Cuda said. “And any artefacts we’ve removed from the site are being kept in a safe until our findings can be verified. In general, though, we found bones, stone tools, goddess figurines and hunt scenes painted on the walls.
“From the animals depicted in the paintings, this group hunted, and lived on, prehistoric cave iguanas and giant cave-land crabs, Cuda said. “The hominid bones, and how they were arranged, suggest a funeral ceremony of some sort. It’s too early to say much more than that. We definitely have our work cut out for us.”
Others focused on how the Neanderthals came to Blacktip Island.
“Neanderthals’ range was limited to southern Europe and the Near East,” historian Angela Fisher said. “This is the only site like this outside that area. Our working theory is they somehow crossed on a land bridge when the sea levels were lower, then were stranded when the glaciers melted and the water rose.
“We know Neanderthals had basic boating skills, but nothing that could accomplish an Atlantic crossing,” Fisher said. “With the current sea level, you can only go down so far in the cave. We reckon they used that brackish water as their water source.”
Some residents questioned the find.
“If Neanderthals migrated to Blacktip from Europe, why’s there no fossil evidence between there and here?” Lee Helm said. “What makes way more sense is convergent evolution, where this Caribbean group evolved independently from the European ones.”
Others embraced the idea.
“Sloping forehead, heavy brows, communicates in grunts?” Val Schrader said. “Yep, that’s a Blacktipper, all right. Totally tracks.”
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The Blacktip Times 