Blacktip Island scientists are experimenting with splicing genes from local slippery dick wrasses into island residents to make swimmers and divers more graceful in the water. (photo courtesy of Brian Gratwicke)
A group of Blacktip Island biology researchers this week announced they have had moderate success splicing reef fish genes with several island residents in an effort to make locals more at home in the water.
“Everyone loves swimming, and scuba diving, but we’re a terrestrial species, so we’re always going to be awkward in the water,” Tiperon University-Blacktip marine biology professor Ernesto Mojarra said. “After our success with external artificial gills last year, we decided to take the next logical step and try our hand at making swimmers and divers more graceful underwater.
“The trick was finding the right species of fish to use in our research,” Mojarra said. “Sharks have a fairly simple makeup, but were a little too basic, and aggressive, for our interests. Nassau groupers have great, human-like personalities but can be too headstrong. In the end we settled on the slippery dick wrasse, Halichoeres bivittatus, due to its grace and docile temperament.”
Many locals praised the idea.
“Potentially, with just minor surgery, this could transform anyone into a real-life mermaid,” Christina Goby said. “You could walk around on land like normal, then glide like a fish through the water. If they can pull this off, it could be life changing for so many of us.”
Others focused on the profitability of the research.
“Forget all the egghead breakthrough-science stuff,” Eagle Ray Cove resort owner Rich Skerritt said. “We’re already outlining new swim-like-a-fish classes and distinctive specialty scuba courses. Folks don’t just jump and swim like fish on their own. They’ll be lining up to try this new sensation, and were already working with Ernesto’s team to organize marketing and branding for them and ERC.”
Others worried about the experiment having unexpected consequences.
“There’s always a Frankenstein’s monster element in these kinds of things,” Chip Pompano said. “So far, the results’ve been innocuous, but fairly underwhelming. The gene splice just made Booger Bottoms smell like a carp. And made Lee Helm even more bug eyed. On the plus side, though, the fish genes did give Alison Diesel a bit more whish in the tail when she walks.”
Some found the procedure confusing.
“I got all excited when I saw what species of fish they were using,” Jack Wrasse said. “Thought they were going for a totally different result. Then reality hit. Don’t know why someone would go through that just to swim better.”
The Blacktip Times 