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June 7, 2024 · 5:56 am

Blacktip Island Stages Pre-Hurricane Party

hurricane season party

Hurricane cocktails will take center stage at Blacktip Island’s island-wide pre-hurricane party Saturday, marking the start of the 2024 season. (photo courtesy of NOLAskip)

Blacktip Island community leaders have scheduled an island-wide pre-hurricane party Saturday to mark the start of the Atlantic hurricane season on the small Caribbean island.

“People always wait ‘til the hurricane’s on top of ‘em to have a party,” Chamber of Commerce president Harry Wrasse said. “This year, we decided to throw a general hurricane-season party in case one comes through tomorrow and wipes us out. Kind of a memento mori, if you will, knowing this party could be our last.

“It’ll bring the community together as, well, a community, with members who know they can count on each other in a storm,” Wrasse said. “It’ll focus everybody on coming together as a team for the next six months. Then we can all go back to squabbling.”

Organizers emphasized the positive aspects of the event.

“The way we see it, this is getting out in front of hurricane season,” de facto mayor Jack Cobia said. “If we’ve already had the party, we’re less likely to get hit by a big storm. It’s a proactive celebration aimed at shooing hurricanes away.”

Some were skeptical of the event.

“Gonna have the opposite effect Harry and them think,” Rosie Bottoms said. “Idiots are gonna jinx us for the season. Bring a big-ass storm down on us. Maybe more than one. You don’t spit in Mother Nature’s eye like this without consequences. Best thing to do it not think about storms, hope for the best. But no, we got to do this nonsense.”

Others focused on the party’s details.

“It’ll start early in the day, with half-priced hurricane drinks for everyone,” Doris Blenny said. “We flew in multiple cases of hurricane glasses just for this. Then, once the sun goes down, we’ll have a beach bonfire for everyone to enjoy.

“The highlight, though, will be the hurricane costume contest,” Blenny said. “Contestants will dress as specific, historical hurricanes, with interpretation left to each individual. It’s already proving popular—the store is sold out of cotton balls, and island resorts are reporting pillows stolen and the stuffing ripped out, with folks needing clouds for their get ups.”

The event will also feature live music by island bands, including:

Social Morays
Young Jacques and the Double Hose
TURTLE!
Duck on a Junebug
Ivan and the Embolizers

Bands will play hurricane-themed songs, including:

Like a Hurricane
Riders on the Storm
Rock You Like a Hurricane
Hurricane Drunk
Ridin’ the Storm Out
Stormy Weather
Jumpin’ Jack Flash

Proceeds from the event will go to restocking the rum supply in the island’s hurricane shelter.

Blacktip Island Stages Impromptu Underwater Car Show

A scuba diver examines one of the vehicles swept away in Hurricane Wendy’s storm surge Wednesday. The car, and more than a dozen others, are now the small Caribbean island’s first underwater auto show. (photo courtesy of Achim R. Schloeffel)

Blacktip Island community organizers Thursday announced the small Caribbean island’s inaugural Underwater Car Show in the wake of Hurricane Wendy’s unexpected storm surge Wednesday morning.

“The storm was tracked to go way east of the island, so lots of folks parked their cars on the west side for protection,” island meteorologist Rayne Doppler said. “Problem was, the storm wobbled and came up the west side. All the cars parked by Diddley’s Landing public pier got swept out to sea.

“There’s no way to save any of them, and no way to get them out right now, so we decided to turn lemons into lemonade,” Doppler said. “The way they’re all strewn across the sand, it looks like they’re on display, so we decided to make it a car show. Scuba divers and snorkelers can swim around and check them out to their hearts’ content. For a fee.”

Island residents had mixed feelings about the new dive site.

“We’re thankful no one was seriously injured. Or died,” Sally Port said. “Unfortunately, a bunch of Nissans did, though. It’s a tragedy, really— some of them didn’t even have rust on them yet.”

Others praised the idea.

“Intentional or not, it got rid of a bunch of island beaters,” Chip Pompano said. “All the rust-buckets with leaking mufflers, cracked windshields and random wheel rims are gone. Now people’ll have to get newer vehicles. It’s beautifying the island, long term.”

Others voiced concerns about post-hurricane relief shipments.

“The supply barge docks at Diddley’s Landing, and it may not be able to land now,” public works chief Rocky Shore said. “We got divers out there now assessing whether it’s safe to dock, or whether cars are piled up so high they’re navigational hazards.”

Environmental officials were also concerned.

“There’s at least a dozen vehicles down there, all of them leaking oil and gasoline,” marine parks spokesperson Val Schrader said. “That will negatively impact the surrounding reefs for months, if not years, to come.

“Our first thought was to haul them all out, but we don’t have the equipment,” Schrader said. “And even if we did, what would we do with them? The dump’s already full. For now, the damage is ongoing and we can’t do anything about it. They might as well turn it into a car show.”

The island’s art community praised the sunken cars.

“It’s an unprecedented in situ modern sculpture,” Marcia Chagall said. “It truly speaks to the futility of humanity pitting itself against nature. Anyone who dives out there will be struck by that juxtaposition. It also makes a great fish habitat. We can now be inspired by art while we catch dinner just offshore.”

Island officials are charging a $25 entry fee per diver to view the cars. Those wishing to retrieve personal items will be charged an additional $20. Those wishing to retrieve the personal items of others will be charged an additional $50. All proceeds will go to hurricane relief and new cars.

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September 25, 2022 · 8:43 am

Blacktip Island Weather

Sunday, September 25, 2022

Temperature: 88

Humidity: 82%

Precipitation: Storm soon come

‘Hurricane Crabs’ Have Blacktip Islanders Fearing Storms

Juvenile land crabs have overrun Blacktip Island this week, raising concerns about a major hurricane hitting the small Caribbean island. (photo courtesy of Sudzie)

Thousands of juvenile land crabs inundated Blacktip Island this week, exasperating residents and raising fears of a major hurricane striking the Caribbean island, locals said.

“Overnight, it seems, they all hatched out and are swarming over everything,” Goldie Goby said. “They’re all over the roads, clogging downspouts, filling cisterns and getting into all our cabinets. You can’t even walk anywhere without them crunching underfoot. It’s like a Biblical plague.

“Bigger worry, though, is old-timers say this always happens right before a big hurricane,” Goby said. “They call them ‘hurricane crabs’ because they mean a big storm’s coming. I’m battening down everything. And going to church twice a week.”

Long-time island residents concurred.

“Baby crabs flooding the island all at once, hurricane’s coming for sure. Everybody knows that,” Antonio Fletcher said. “Happened in ’04, then again in ’08. Blacktip was two islands then, storm surge was that high.

“I got water and food stashed in a cave, ready to weather it out,” Fletcher said. “Doubled the insurance on my house, too. Folks calling me ‘Chicken Little’ are in for a rude wake up. Sky really is falling. Or fixing to.”

Other locals were also busy with hurricane preparations.

“Me, I got my boat filled with supplies, and lashed to my roof,” Dermott Bottoms said. “Hurricane comes through, I just cut the cords and ride out the waves. Simple as that. Thanks to them crabs, I got enough warning to get that all set up.”

Scientists questioned the link between the crabs and storms.

“This mass hatching likely has more to do with rising water tables, or temperature change, than with future weather events,” island meteorologist Rayne Doppler said. “And I’ve found zero correlation between occasional island-wide hatching events like this and hurricanes. The only constant is these crabs hatch en masse every six or seven years. The last time this happened, we had no storms at all.”

Some residents voiced more immediate concerns.

“The roads are red from cars running over them—the stink’ll about knock you out,” Marina DeLow said. And they’ve taken over my underwear drawer. I kind of hope a hurricane does come along and blasts these damn things away.”