An unidentified object floating over Blacktip Island’s southern bluff has island residents worried it’s a surveillance device launched to spy on them. (photo courtesy of Jeanne)
An observation balloon hovering high above Blacktip Island this week has residents concerned about the balloon’s origin, its purpose and its controllers.
“The dog was the first to notice it,” Rusty Bollard said. “Started howling something awful. I ran out to see what the commotion was about, and he’s staring up at some white speck way up high. Reminded me of that Chinese spy balloon last year, so I sounded the alarm.
“Nothing to interest Chinese spies on Blacktip, so most of us reckon it’s our government trying to spot lobster and conch poachers,” Bollard said. “It’s their new way to double-secret keep an eye on the marine park. Using public money to harass private citizens. It’s not right.”
Marine parks officials denied the claim.
“We can protect the park just fine,” marine parks spokesperson Val Schrader said. “We know who the poachers are and keep an eye on them. Hell, we’re lucky when we have gas money for the patrol boat. Where would we get the cash to buy a spy balloon?”
Others were convinced foreign governments are behind the object.
“Nothing worth spying on here . . . or is there?” Paloma Fairlead said. “Seems to be hanging out over the south end. Probly some secret base up on the bluff Cuba’s surveilling. And missles, I’ll bet, like the one the U.S. hid in the church steeple years ago. Or it’s the U.S. spying on Cuba. In any case, it’s got folks scared.”
Some locals suspect a more sinister motive.
“They’re usin’ arrays hangin’ underneath it for mind control, pure and simple,” Linford Blenny said. “Global Illuminati’s all around us. Never know who they are, but they’re set on brainwashin’ us all. And hacking our internet servers to steal passwords and bankin’ info. I wrapped my modem in three layers of foil, just to be safe.”
Island authorities were less concerned.
“For anyone to succeed at mind control on this island, they’d have to first find a mind,” government watchdog Wade Soote said. “Everybody on this little rock is totally safe. My bet, it’s a puff of cirrus cloud caught in a vortex that keeps it swirling around in place. I keep telling folks to ignore it—it’ll go away. And if it doesn’t, well, then we’ll all be enslaved by lizard people before the weekend’s out.”
The Blacktip Times 