Sunday, August 6, 2023
Temperature: 95
Humidity: 72%
Precipitation: Not today
Tag Archives: Caribbean fiction
Genetically-Modified Mosquito Project Goes Awry on Blacktip Island
An experiment with genetically-modified, sterile mosquitoes on Blacktip Island has inadvertently increased the mosquito population on the small Caribbean island. (photo courtesy of Alvesgaspar)
A plan to release a genetically-modified, non-biting species of mosquito, aimed at decreasing Blacktip Island’s mosquito population has instead drastically increased the population, island authorities announced this week.
“The idea was for our modified, sterile, mango-eating mosquitoes to interbreed with the non-sterile extant mosquitoes to drive down that population,” Mosquito Control Unit chief Dusty Bottoms said. “Something went wrong, though, and it turns out when the two species breed, they create new, super-aggressive bloodthirsty mosquitoes.
“The problem was made worse by the efforts we made to help people differentiate between the good and bad mosquitoes,” Bottoms said. “Basically, part of the genetic modification process was to add a bit of firefly DNA to the mix to show the flashing mosquitoes weren’t harmful. But instead of flashing mossies meaning safety, they’re like tiny biological tracer rounds coming at you from everywhere.”
Island residents were outraged by the project.
“These new mosquitoes are an absolute terror,” Leigh Shore said. “They’re aggressive and hungry for blood. And there’s more and more of them every day. And near as I can tell, they like bug spray. They’ll swarm into clouds of it.
“Dusty and them need to be horse-whipped for creating these little monsters,” Shore said. “You can’t go outside anymore. And at night, mosquito netting helps, but all the flashing still keeps you awake. The only positive about ‘em is you can see ‘em coming and whack ‘em with a flyswatter.”
Others took an I-told-you-so approach.
“Doesn’t anyone read, or watch. science fiction anymore?” Belinda Graysby said. “This is basic ‘never do that’ stuff. Experiments like this never work out as planned, and almost always create a greater problem. It’s straight-up the old ‘who’s scarier, the monster or the person who created it?’ scenario.”
The island’s Mosquito Control Unit is attacking the new threat with all available resources.
“We got both our people out there with cans of bug spray, working 12-hour, alternating shifts so wo can attack the mosquitoes day and night, 24-7,” Bottoms said. “Problem is, these new ones are attracted to insecticide. And pissed off by it. We’re working up new sprays to put a dent in their numbers. So far a mix of Windex and iguana urine’s showed promising results.”
Island officials are taking extreme steps to protect visitors.
“We’re urging everyone to stay in their rooms, and we’ve wrapped all island bar areas with netting,” de-facto island mayor Jack Cobia said. “We also built tunnels to get folks out to the dive boats, since the skeeters won’t go more than 20 yards or so offshore. Long, term, we may have to lodge guests on the boats the whole time they’re here. Create mini-liveaboards, if you will. In the meantime, the flashing lights are quite popular with our guests.”
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Blacktip Island Weather
Sunday, July 30, 2023
Temperature: 94
Humidity: 74%
Precipitation: Finally
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Aggressive Boobies Terrorize Blacktip Island Residents
A flurry of recent attacks on people by usually-docile red-footed boobies has much of Blacktip Island on edge this week. (photo courtesy of Peter Wilton)
Blacktip Islanders this week are taking steps to safeguard themselves from attacks by protected red-footed booby birds along the small Caribbean island’s northwest coast road, authorities said.
“We don’t know why yet, but boobies along that stretch of road by the Booby Preserve have been swooping down and pecking at people’s heads,” Island Police Constable Rafe Marquette said. “It started with runners, then bicyclists and now casual walkers. Boobies are usually quite docile. I’ve never seen anything like this.
“We’re cautioning the public to avoid that section of the island, if possible,” Marquette said. “If you have to go up there, please wear a helmet and protective eye wear. We’ll get this sorted out, but until then, we ask people to use common sense. If that’s possible on this island.”
Experts offered varied explanations for the attacks.
“One school of thought is it’s nesting season and the boobies are protecting their young,” Blacktip Island Birding Society President Hoot Parrett said. “But they nest every year, and this’s never happened. We’re also researching the effects the current wave of extreme heat has on seabirds. The scorching hot weather may be making them more aggressive.”
Others see the attacks as part of a more ominous trend.
“Those boobies’ve been pushing their range for a while,” Peachy Bottoms said. “Used to be, they’d only nest on the far side of the booby pond, away from the road. Lately, though, there’s more and more of them nesting on this side. It’s pretty clear they’re expanding their territory, and are now protecting it.
“This is the problem with declaring them a protected species, and all that land being a booby preserve,” Bottoms said. “Their population’s grown too big for that parcel, and now they’re staking claim to more and more of the island. This keeps up, Blacktip won’t be livable. Conservation’s all fun and games until it turns into a Hitchcock movie.”
Some residents vowed to fight back.
“They’re a protected species until they try to peck my eye out,” Christina Mojarra said. “Then it’s game-on. I take a tennis racket with me when I walk up that way. Any of those suckers swoop at me, they’ll get strained through cat gut.
“We need to go on the offensive, big picture,” Mojarra said. “Cut down all the trees on this side of the pond, force the boobies back across the water. They’ve got to learn, having a protected sanctuary’s a right, not a privilege.”
Others, however, welcomed the attacks.
“I go up that way on purpose all the time,” Gage Hoase said. “If one of them kills me, that guarantees my tombstone will read, ‘Attacked by Boobies.’”
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Blacktip Island Weather
Sunday, July 23, 2023
Temperature: 95
Humidity: 74%
Precipitation: Nope. We’re roasting.
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Blacktip Island Weather
Sunday, July 16, 2023
Temperature: 94
Humidity: 73%
Precipitation: Hydrate. It’s gonna be a scorcher
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Blacktip Island Hikers Find Possible Noah’s Ark Fragments
Local experts say the boat hull fragments found on top of Blacktip Island’s southern bluff may be a remnant of Noah’s Ark. (photo courtesy of Tadpolefarm)
Hikers atop Blacktip Island’s rugged southern bluff this week discovered pieces of an antiquated boat hull, which local experts say may be part of the Biblical Noah’s Ark.
“We were picking our way through the brush way up on the bluff when we stumbled across ribs of super-old boards held together with wooden pegs,” Catalina Luxfer said. “They were curved, like the side of a boat, but the sea’d have to have damned high for them to get way up there, so we took them to the museum.
“Rusty and his team did all kinds of tests, and it turns out the wood’s from before the turn of the millennium,” Luxfer said. “That, coupled with the only way for them to get up there is if water covered the island, this being part of the Ark’s the obvious answer. I still get all shivery just thinking about having touched it.”
Local theologians say the possibility is not as far-fetched as it seems.
“Notes in some of the Dead Sea Scrolls mention Noah’s Ark making contact with bits of land prior to settling on Mount Ararat,” Our Lady of Blacktip’s Father Audley Crossblesser said. “These semi-finished timbers match with that, as well as with boat-building techniques used in the ancient Near East.
“We suspect the Ark had a small hull breach here, and the flood waters receded just in time for the animals and people to not drown,” Crossblesser said. “God blessed Noah and his family, and now has blessed us, too, by letting us become part of that incredible story.”
Locals say island tradition supports that theory.
“It’s a old tale, passed down for generations, how the Ark crunched into Blacktip as it drifted ‘round the world,” Vinson Noboddie said. “Makes sense, too. There was iguanas and soldier crabs and boobies on the Ark, you know. How’d they get here if they didn’t fall off early? No way they migrated from Turkey or Armenia or some such.
“And they never found Noah’s Ark, either, you know,” Noboddie said. “Who’s to say it didn’t land here, and all those other animals migrated away? ‘Ararat’ sounds a lot like ‘island of rats,’ and that’s Blacktip in spades. There’s more proof of the Ark landing here than in foreign parts.”
Others questioned the find.
“This is random storm wrack,” Angela Fisher said. “Audley talks about proof, but there’s no proof Noah’s Ark ever existed at all. And iguanas and hermit crabs’re here because they evolved here. This is just another crazy island tale dreamed up after too much rum at the Ballyhoo on a Saturday night.”
Blacktip Island business leaders embraced the find.
“We already have blueprints for the Blacktip Island Noah’s Ark Museum,” island Camber of Commerce president Harry Wrasse said. “It’ll house these fragments, as well as scale models of the original Ark people can walk through, and a bunch of dioramas showing daily life on the Ark.
“Doesn’t matter if the Ark story’s true or not,” Wrasse said. “Folks’ll pay good money to come here to see this stuff. And book hotel rooms and eat at restaurants. We’ll also have a whole line of Real Noah’s Ark t-shirts, caps, beer coozies and ditty bags. Who wouldn’t want a Real Ark ditty bag?”
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The Blacktip Times 