A new ordinance on Blacktip Island will fine residents for using non-British spellings. (photo illustration by Wendy Beaufort/BTT staff)
Blacktip Island officials announced Thursday a new ordinance allowing them to fine residents who use non-British spellings in an effort to stop what they say is the gradual Americanization of English on the small Caribbean island.
“It’s spelling chaos right now,” de facto island mayor Jack Cobia said. “There has to be some consistency here. It’s confusing—and annoying—seeing all these ‘centre/center,’ ‘colour/color’ gaffes. We’re getting back to Blacktip’s British roots and enforcing British spelling to stop this madness once and for all.
“We’ve repeatedly asked folks to voluntarily standardize their spelling, but they’ve ignored us,” Cobia said. “Since tact didn’t work, now we’re hitting folks in their pocket books to get their attention. Ten dollars every time you leave out a British ‘u’ will sort things out right quick.”
The steering group overseeing the legislation says further fines are being discussed.
“We’re looking at penalties for date formatting as well,” Cracked Spines bookstore owner Ann Bouquin said. “It needs to be consistently day-month-year, not month-day-year. That’s even more problematic than the spelling snafus. Is the deadline August 12 or December 8? Is your birthdate in January or September? Blacktip’s been the spelling and grammar wild west for too long. But now there’s a new orthographic sheriff in town now.”
Many on the island were angered by the new law.
“I’ll spell words however I want,” Gage Hoase said. “Whether I write ‘favor’ with, or without, a ‘u’, people still know what I mean. Good luck getting $10 from me. This is xenophobia, plain and simple. And what’s next, fines for misspelled words? Or for pronouncing words the American way? Schedule, schedule, schedule!”
Island officials admitted the law will be difficult to enforce.
“You think I got time to search through everything that gets written on this island, looking for American and Australian spellings?” Island Police Constable Rafe Marquette said. “Or even writing citations every time someone brings one to me? Got more important things to do. Jack wants spelling policed, let him do it himself.”
Cobia remained defiant.
“This madness has to stop, and it stops with me,” he said.
Money from the fines, minus expenses, will go to the Blacktip Island Public Library, earmarked for the purchase of books to go with the one the library currently possesses.
The Blacktip Times 