A Blacktip Island scuba retailer is aiming to make older dive computers like these obsolete with the launch of his ‘Compexest’ computer next week. (photo courtesy of Peter Southwood)
Blacktip Island scuba research and retail outlet Bamboo You Thursday announced the forthcoming launch of what the company’s owner describes as the world’s most complex dive computer, designed to fill a growing niche market.
“We noticed divers gravitated to dive computers with the most functions, whether they knew what they did or not,” Bamboo You owner Piers ‘Doc’ Plank said. “Divers really only need the basics—depth, time, no deco limit and such, but they buy computers with the most features because of the perceived value. The more it does, the better it is. And sells. That’s where our new Complexest computer comes in.
“We designed it with 48 different diver-changeable modes,” Plank said. “We’re not sure what half of them do. Or even a quarter. Some of them may be bogus, but they’re by-God in there. It also comes with a 417-page instruction manual written in gibberish, that we know no one will bother to read.”
Local divers are eager to test dive the Complexest.
“I can’t wait to see what it’ll do,” Sally Port said. “My computer now has all sorts of mixed-gas and free-diving modes, but I’m looking for an upgrade. I don’t dive with mixed gases, or free dive, but it’s good to know my computer can handle those things. And whatever else it does. Horoscope predictions, I suspect.
“I dived with a basic, hockey-puck computer for years, but after a while that gave me migraines,” Port said. “That went away when I upgraded to something fancier, and with the Complexest about to hit the market, I can feel the first niggles of a headache starting. I’m buying one as soon as I can, no matter what the price.”
Local dive operators were unimpressed.
“I’m sure it’s a rad computer, and I’m glad Doc’s making bank with it, but it’ll just be more same-ol’, same ol’,” Club Scuba Doo dive operations manager Finn Kiick said. “Most divers don’t watch their computers during dives, much less read the manuals. They just jump in the water and dive. I do think Doc’s on to something, though—people’re impressed with stuff they don’t understand, and’ll pay top dollar for it.”
Plank noted the Complexest will appeal to a wide variety of divers.
“It’ll come in every color we can come up with so it can be coordinated with any dive gear,” he said. “We also have a ‘change mode mid-dive’ option that’ll randomly switch from mode-to-mode during random dives. We expect that to be a real game changer, sales-wise. Folks’ll love it.”
The Blacktip Times 