A Blacktip Island woman was arrested Sunday after physically attacking her husband when he gave her five iguanas instead of five golden rings on the fifth day of Christmas. (photo illustration by Wendy Beaufort / BTT staff)
A Blacktip Island woman was arrested Sunday on assault charges after she beat her husband for not giving her five gold rings on December 29, the fifth day of Christmas.
“I responded to a domestic violence report at a residence south of Eagle Ray Cove,” Island Police Constable Rafe Marquette said. “Upon arrival, I found a woman beating a man about the head and shoulders with a distressed iguana. After separating the two people and freeing the iguana, I jailed her on charges of assault and animal cruelty. She has since posted bond and been released.”
The woman, longtime Blacktip resident Lucille Ray, defended her actions.
“Giving me a dump chicken on Day One was bad enough,” she said. “But it got worse from there—two booby birds, three land crabs, then four zenaida doves. It was worth it, though, ‘cause I knew those rings were next. And what did he do? Give me five nasty-ass iguanas. Damn right I walloped him with one.
“What am I supposed to do with zenaida doves and a bunch of mini dinosaurs?” she said. “Can’t put either on my finger. Billy, he set high expectations, then crashed ‘em down on me. Cheap is what he is. He’s lucky he didn’t get worse.”
Her husband, Billy Ray, claimed there was a misunderstanding.
“I figured I’d do something different, give her thoughtful gifts I worked to get rather than just buying something,” he said. “I used the 12 Days of Christmas song as a rough guide, but never led on that I’d be giving anything from the actual song. I thought everything was going swimmingly, then she started whacking me with a pissed-off lizard.
“Took a lot of work to get those gifts,” Ray said. “You ever try to catch boobies? And those iguanas bite. I got scars from all that. The least Lucille could do is be appreciative. Instead, she’s hired herself a lawyer.”
The attorney retained by Lucille Ray said civil charges will be filed.
“It’s breach of contract, pure and simple,” Ferris Skerritt said. “A social contract, to be sure, but still a contract. The implication of Mr. Ray basing his gifts on a well-known carol created the expectation of more valuable gifts in the future. Mrs. Ray was totally within her rights to interact with Mr. Ray in the manner she did.”
Island People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals condemned the gifts and the assault.
“It’s a horrific idea, catching wild animals to give as gifts,” PETA president Harry Pickett said. “Nothing short of animal cruelty, really, and we’ll be filing criminal complaints to that affect. But the use of a local rock iguana as an offensive weapon goes beyond the pale. Someone who would use an iguana in that fashion could well use a human as a weapon, too.”
The Tiperon assizes courts will hear the criminal and civil cases in early February.
The Blacktip Times 