Sunday, September 17, 2023
Temperature: 96
Humidity: 73%
Precipitation: Let it rain
Blacktip Island Flare Disposal Devolves Into Shootout
Outdated flare disposal by rival Blacktip Island dive staffs erupted into a flare-gun shootout Thursday evening, injuring multipe participants. (photo courtesy of Krzysztof Burghardt)
Five Blacktip Island residents were arrested, and eight were sent to the small Caribbean island’s medical clinic Thursday evening, after two Blacktip Island dive staffs engaged in a flare-gun shootout while disposing of their outdated signal flares.
“Eagle Ray Divers and Club Scuba Doo each decided to get rid of their expired emergency signal flares after work,” Island Police Constable Rafe Marquette said. “Problem was, they disposed of the flares by shooting them off instead of just throwing them away. Both staffs were on the beach, within hailing distance of each other. One thing led to another, and the two groups started throwing hand-held flares back and forth.
“Things escalated when both sides switched to flare guns,” Marquette said. “Those things have range and velocity. Divemasters on both sides took direct hits and sustained significant injuries. Five of them are in the island jail on assault and use off offensive weapons charges.”
Locals say the shootout was not completely unexpected.
“There’s no love lost between the two staffs,” Wendy Beaufort said. “The resorts are right next to each other, and the staffs are always jockeying for the best dive sites. Putting both groupss that close to each other, then arming them, that was disaster waiting to happen.”
It was not immediately clear who started the shooting.
“Finn Kiick over at CSD popped off the first flare-gun round,” Eagle Ray Divers’ Alison Diesel said. “He and Gage Hoase got semi-aggro last week, and the shot was Finn’s ballistic eff you that whacked Gage smack in the head. Gage responded in kind.”
Kiick disputed that narrative.
“I was laughing at Lee Helm trying to throw hand-helds with his little noodle arms,” Kiick said from the island jail. “He got all butt-hurt and shot a flare at me. I just returned fire. Hitting Gage was an accident—those plastic pistols aren’t built for accuracy.”
Multiple island residents witnessed the fire fight.
“We had just taken the kiddos down to the beach when the shooting started,” Jodi Hamlet said. “We high-tailed it back under the palm trees so’s not to be caught in the crossfire. My little ones stayed busy putting out fires in the downed palm fronds. It was really quite lovely. From a safe distance.”
The island’s medical clinic was overwhelmed.
“We only have the one examination table, a couple of chairs and limited supplies,” nurse Marissa Graysby said. “With seven, eight patients needing medical attention, I had to lie them on the floor for treatment. Most have varying degrees of phosphorus burns, and several severe contusions from direct hits. I’m completely out of unguent and bandages.”
Constable Marquette instituted new flare disposal protocols.
“Flare gun privileges have been revoked for a more than a dozen individuals,” he said. “And a mandatory fire and firearm safety class is scheduled for all island dive staff.
“Also, going forward, flare guns may be used only on a boat, and only in actual emergencies,” he said. “You wouldn’t think it needed to be said, yet here we are.”
Filed under best scuba diving novels, Caribbean, Scuba Diving
Blacktip Island Weather
Sunday, September 10, 2023
Temperature: 98
Humidity: 75%
Precipitation: In your dreams
Filed under best scuba diving novels, Caribbean, Scuba Diving
See-Buoy Float Will Allow Lost Divers To Find Boats
Lost and disoriented scuba divers on Blacktip Island will soon be able to find their dive boat without surfacing—and suffering the ensuing embarrassment—with the introduction of a local entrepreneur’s See-Buoy float camera. (photo courtesy of Dorothy)
Scuba divers lost on Blacktip Island’s reefs will soon be able to relocate their boat without surfacing by using a local inventor’s lift-bag inspired mini-camera float.
“Divers get lost all the time, and there’s a huge stigma about surfacing to get your bearings,” Rusty Bollard said. “Anybody on the boat sees you, ‘specially dive staff, you’ll get ribbed like hell the rest of the week. That’s where the See-Buoy comes in.
“You get lost, just clip your reel line to it, give it a puff of air and shoot it to the surface,” Bollard said. “It’ll do a 360 scan to find the boat, give you the direction on a wrist unit, then you pull it back down like nothing happened. Inflated, it’s about the size of your fist, so no one’ll notice.”
Product testers raved about the device.
“Some of us are just navigationally challenged,” Rosie Blenny said. “The See-Buoy works perfectly to find the boat, or the shore, without any embarrassment. I used to use a little PVC periscope, or my buddy, but this works way better.
“The cool thing is it comes with multiple covers to match whatever water you’re in,” Blenny said. “Whether it’s bright turquoise for over the sand, darker blue for over coral, or green for bad visibility, you’re set. They even have a brown cover for lake and quarry divers.”
Island dive staff embraced the idea.
“Divers get lost all the time, and that sends our pulse and blood pressure soaring,” Eagle Ray Divers divemaster Marina DeLow said. “If this gizmo’ll help lost guests find their way back, there’s nothing but upside to it. It makes my job a hundred times easier. Also, if they deploy the buoy, and leave it deployed, it makes it way easier to keep track of them.”
Others opposed the idea.
“If our divers get too self-reliant, that erodes my job security,” Eagle Ray Divers’ Lee Helm said. “If I’m not out doing searches and making rescues, that takes money from my pocket. Dive ops’ll start hiring fewer divemasters, and that affects all of us.
“It also means guests’re taking fewer navigation courses, and that takes money away, as well,” Helm said. “This is just a way for Rusty to make money off confused divers, at our expense. If people really get that disoriented underwater, they should just stick close to a dive guide. Or take up golf.”
Bollard said See-Buoy is currently in the prototype stage, and expects working models to be available for sale by the busy holiday season this December.
Filed under best scuba diving novels, Caribbean, Scuba Diving
Blacktip Island Weather
Sunday, September 3, 2023
Temperature: 97
Humidity: 76%
Precipitation: On its way
Filed under best scuba diving novels, Caribbean, Scuba Diving
Blacktip Island Pilot Launches Plane-Less Flying Club
An illustration of a man wearing a pair of Blacktip Island pilot Reg Gurnard’s Kevlar wings, which he will use to teach local residents to fly. (illustration courtesy of Reg Gurnard)
A Blacktip Island-based commercial pilot this week announced his plans to teach would-be flyers how to fly using only their arms and legs, in an effort to realize one of mankind’s oldest dreams.
“Since Ancient Greece, people have longed to simply flap their arms and fly, like in the Icarus story,” Tiperon Airways pilot Reg Gurnard said. “Now, with modern technology, we’ll be teaching students to do precisely that, but without the messy, melty beeswax. I’m calling it the Gurnard Flying Club.
“We’ll start them with ground school—a rigorous physical training regimen to strengthen their arm muscles,” Gurnard said. “Then we’ll kit them out with high-tech Kevlar strap-on wings and leggings. From there, they’ll start with gliding, then advance to flapping-and-flying.”
Several island residents have already joined the club.
“I’ve literally dreamed of doing something like this, so you bet I’m jumping at the chance,” Lee Helm said. “Plus, by signing up early, Reg gave me an early-enrollment discount. I’m already doing push-ups and curls to pump up my arms.
“This will be flying at its purest,” Helm said. “This isn’t like those silly wing suits people use to glide down mountainsides. This will be actual flying, with take offs and landings and flapping. People and birds both evolved from dinosaurs, so this is really a natural extension of that.”
Some locals opposed the idea.
“If someone actually tries to fly with Reg’s wings, say, off the bluff, they’ll be hurt. Badly,” island clinic nurse Marissa Graysby said. “And there’s just me to patch them up. Or what’s left of them. If Reg is determined to do this, I really wish he’d do it somewhere else. Like the other side of the world.”
Others discredited the notion on principle.
“There’s no type of artificial wings that would allow a human to simply flap their arms and fly,” Tiperon University-Blacktip chancellor Donna Requin said. “The laws of physics and physiology won’t allow it. Never have and never will. This is just Reg’s way to get attention. And grift money from gullible dreamers.
“That being said, I’ll make sure I have a front-row seat to all the training sessions,” Requin said. “I’ll bring drinks and popcorn and a folding chair so I can watch the idiots run around flapping their arms and tripping over the kites strapped to their legs.”
Gurnard noted the training sessions will take place each morning at the small Caribbean island’s airstrip. Students are encouraged to wear lightweight clothing and sunscreen. All participants will also be cautioned not to fly overly close to the sun.
Filed under best scuba diving novels, Caribbean, Scuba Diving
Happy Dolphins and Dinoflagellates Day to all who observe
Filed under best scuba diving novels, Caribbean, Scuba Diving
Blacktip Island Weather
Sunday, August 27, 2023
Temperature: 96
Humidity: 73%
Precipitation: Not happenin’
Filed under best scuba diving novels, Caribbean, Scuba Diving
The Blacktip Times 