Monthly Archives: November 2023

Blacktip Island residents have been warned to be on the lookout for marauding kimono dragons after repeated sightings of the large, kimono-draped monitor lizards and a rash of bathrobe thefts. (photo courtesy of musumemiyuki)

Blacktip Island wildlife authorities Wednesday announced a combination of recent large reptile sightings, along with the disappearance of multiple silk bathrobes, mean a population of rare kimono dragons has likely re-established itself on the small Caribbean Island.

“They’re like Komodo dragons, but not as well known,” Marine Parks spokesperson Val Schrader said. “It’s a classic example of convergent evolution: two similar species developed independently to fill niches in unrelated ecosystems. Like American and European kestrels. In this case, they’re a closer relative to our iguanas than South Pacific monitor lizards.

“They’re not venomous, like their better-known look-alikes,” Schrader said. “They just have a taste for silk. They like to roll around in it, and it gets caught on their scales and hangs on them as if they’re wearing clothing. No one’s seen one in more than 100 years, but with these big lizard sightings, and the kimonos disappearing from local clothes lines, we’re certain they’re out there.”

Locals described the lizards in vivid terms.

“Just before sunset this little dinosaur—big as a iguana—strolled out underbrush and across the road, wrapped in a bright red silk something-or-other with pink and yellow flowers printed on it,” Linford Blenny said. “I didn’t know whether to run or laugh, so I just stood there and watched it. Disappeared in the brush on the other side, dragging a belt or sash or something behind it.”

Experts are seeking more definitive evidence of the lizards’ existence.

“We have game cameras set up all over the bluff, where most of the reports come from,” Tiperon University-Blacktip biology professor Ernesto Mojarra said. “We have cage traps, too, baited with fresh silk, but so far no luck.

“Old island tales say their main fare was sushi, so we’ve baited traps with that, too,” Mojarra said. “Ideally we can catch one alive, then kill it so we can study it. We have no idea if they’re dangerous, though there have been reports of them chasing small children and short adults.”

Tourism officials are monitoring the search closely.

“The worry is, if the kimono dragons are back, they’ll encourage the iguanas to start dressing up, too,” Chamber of Commerce president Harry ‘Scratcher’ Wrasse said. “Short term, that could be good or bad for our tourism product, depending on if they’re cross-dressing. But if the island runs out of kimonos, will they turn to bathrobes? Towels? No one’s laundry’ll be safe, and tourists’ll stay away in droves.”

The Marine Parks Department is encouraging residents to photograph and GPS waypoint any kimono dragon sightings.

“Blacktip’s fast becoming a cryptic megafauna hotspot,” Schrader said. “First the mersquatch, then the lusca, now this. It’s an exciting time to be alive.”