Blacktip Island’s Heritage House book-lending library has fewer offerings today after a pair of concerned citizens removed multiple titles included on various internet banned books lists. (photo courtesy of Energyme)
An ad-hoc committee of two concerned Blacktip Island residents seized dozens of books from the island’s Heritage House lending library Wednesday afternoon, claiming the titles were included on multiple banned book lists.
“It was the darndest thing,” Heritage House docent Doris Blenny said. “Rusty Goby and Ginger Bass just stormed in. Rusty started shouting out titles from a printed list, while Ginger snatched those books off the shelves. They filled two dive bags, then charged back out the door and roared away on their scooters.
“It’s a shame, since so many people—locals and visitors alike—rely on our book-swap program for reading materials,” Blenny said. “Common courtesy when one takes a book without leaving one in its place is to leave a dollar. They just ran off without leaving anything, yelling about corrupt books corrupting island.”
Island authorities say little can be done.
“It’s a lending library, where people voluntarily swap used books at no charge,” Island Police Constable Rafe Marquette said. “No law has been broken, since, technically, nothing was stolen. True, this committee of two has no legal standing or authority, but neither does a room filled with free books. Now, if they set them on fire in a way that threatens property or structures, then I can act. They’ve been banned from the premises, and that’s hopefully the end of it.”
Committee members said the book confiscation was a long time coming.
“Blacktip has become an irreverent society, and the availability of these suspect books feeds that,” Rusty Goby said. “Our coral’s bleaching, we’re swamped in sargassum and our children are smart-mouthed, all because these books have been passed around without thought. They’re on that banned list for a reason. As soon as we get rid of them, we can get back to a normal life.
“We also grabbed a bunch of comic books that weren’t on the list, but ought to be,” Goby said. “Men and women running around in Spandex, so everyone can see their business, it’s obscene. We can’t reason with folks, so we just have to do what’s best for them.”
Bass noted multiple classics were among the seized books.
“We got ‘A Wrinkle in Time’ first. That was a no-brainer,” she said. “We also got that ‘Mockingbird’ book, ‘cause it’s got ‘tequila’ in its title, ‘Brave New World’ for promoting communism and socialism and fascism, and ‘The Handmaid’s Tale,’ since it’s got people in tizzies these days.
“Took every copy of the ‘Bible,’ too, ‘cause there’s stories in there that’re absolutely filthy,” Bass added. “And we’ll be burning all the copies of ‘Fahrenheit 451’ this weekend, to let people know we mean business.”
Most residents were unconcerned.
“Rusty and Ginger are both whack-a-doos,” resident Donna Requin said. “They’ll take their meds, calm down and bring all the books back. Personally, I think Rusty took the books home to read without folks knowing he borrowed them, and without them showing up on his browser history.”
The Blacktip Times 